Re: Question About Hysterical Bonding
I think for the BS (and perhaps the WS as well) it's a bit of a panic response. When you've both decided (at least at that time) to try and save your marriage...it's a bit of a freak out. It was part and parcel to the whole "meeting each other's needs" thing. You're attempting to reconcile, and you both realize how close it came to ending, you both want to save it, and part of that is madly attempting to bond and reestablish that closeness and passion. For me it was less about regaining dominance or getting my manhood back, and more about that. Rebuilding the fire, then throwing gasoline on the fire to not only make sure it doesn't go out, but that it rages on. It started out as this intense fire (when you first get together), then the flame gets smaller, then one day, it's snuffed out.
So once you decide to (falsely in my case) reconcile, you build that fire back up and then try everything you can to turn it into a raging inferno - it's a rather panicked, desperate attempt, imo.
Then, if you're lucky (as a BS), you realize that it's a lie, and you get out the extinguisher and douse that nasty chemical fire...then wait years for the toxic smoke to dissipate.