Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Warm in the summer, cold in the winter
Re: Big Fight update
I have trust issues, that said I normally don't trust people, so the people who are good friends and family I allow to earn trust. For me trust is both a feeling and choice, I can't trust without either. I choose to allow someone to earn trust with me, and as we know each other better feelings and/or emotions are also a part.
Vulnerability builds trust, opening your heart to show your soft underside is a good way to build trust. I did this with my wife after her affair, it allowed me to begin to trust her again. Actions can build trust also, if you keep showing actions that you are all in to the marriage trust is formed and built upon.
From your post, and I may be totally off base here, but what I see is you don't feel safe. His social media accounts seem to cause anxiety for you. I'm not saying you don't feel safe at all, but you don't feel safe in regards to the social media. That's why I think it causes anxiety in you. Just my opinion from the post you wrote.
Trust will cause many arguments, feeling unsafe will cause arguments, and you need to differentiate the two. If you don't feel safe, you won't trust, if you trust, you will find yourself feeling more safe. I'm probably not explaining this well, but in my case as I felt safe my wife earned more trust. If her actions were suspect at all I would feel both unsafe and not trusting.
Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.