I am going to be the exception. You need to go back and read your own post. I feel you need to get into IC to take care of your own issues. You really come across as one that only thinks of his own needs and I could understand why your WW would feel disconnected. That does not excuse the A in any way shape or form. I come up with this due to the comments you have made about your own parents. A lot of marriages can recover but it takes two strong people to do so and you are not one of them so your WW would be better off with a D.
I really do not care if I am strong or weak in the eyes of God or man. Main thing is January 2012 and reaching for that big old spray can of Floozy-B-Gon.
I was always concerned with her needs until I found out about the affair. I really thought we were a healthy, communicative couple without secrets. Then - you got it right, I disconnected bigtime. Give yourself a prize.
And if my parents are hurt, they should learn to take it as well as they can dish it out. If they want to side with her and call me names, they should be able to take the consequences. There is nothing in my family's past that would warrant this kind of betrayal. My parents and I were always close until my wife's affair. My sister got into bad company and pills as a teenager and I was the one who got her out. With love, not force. She's still got problems but at least she doesn't do dope. I saved her life and this is what I get?
Sure I have issues. Who doesn't? And yes, my WW would be better off with a D, and so would I. I've told her that already. So thanks for concurring.
You stated previously you didn't care who the OM was. Since you're moving on, I get it. However, lots of stories here involve the OM/OW being someone the BS knows. Wouldn't you want to know if that possibility exists in your situation? Or did she explain that you dont know the OM?
Only thing I'm interested in is whether or not the OM is married or in a relationship, because it would be a nice clean solution for wifey to hie her butt thence and go to him with a minimum of trouble. My wife says he's single, so the stage should be already set for angels singing and conjugal bliss, am I right? The rest doesn't concern me. If it turns out to be one of my friends, well, that's another acquaintance gone south.
Be careful... This may or may not be an empty threat. Your story is similar enough to other cases on these boards that I think she could genuinely experience a mental break. See the below link Mental breakdown of DW after D-day
You may be tempted to say "Not my problem", but unfortunately this is the mother of your children. No matter what has happened, you don't want to put your kids through that. Make sure she gets some professional help.
Just got back and she's still breathing fine. Only suicidal thing she appears to have done is to take up smoking again, and I don't have a problem with that as long as she does it out of the house. It's cold outside right now but after New Years, I'll be out anyway and she can stink up the place to beat Jesus for all I care.