*Did you read this entire post and Thread?
Yes, I did.
You dont quite have the timeline in the correct order. The 2nd time I broke it off with the OM and chose to love my husband and make our marriage work. Yes, he was "my second choice" the 1st time but now he is my only choice.
Timeline correct or not, you still were in contact with OM with an idea there still might be something with him AFTER your husband forgave you the first time. That part of the timeline is not in dispute.
The OM ended it with me the 1st time. I ended it the 2nd time, and the OM was NOT happy about it. He got mad, he begged, he offered anything to have me but I DID NOT WANT HIM. I WANT MY HUSBAND AND MY FAMILY I HAVE.
Your husband forgave you once. After this forgiveness and the 2nd chance, you went back to canoodeling with the OM. You were, at that time, seeing if there was something there. Yes, you ended it, but only after OM wasn't going to swing your way.
So your H was your 2nd choice. You chose him because the OM wasn't going to be available to you. His hysterical antics after you ended it are irrelevant.
I do thank my lucky stars every friggin' minute of every day in the past month and I plan to continue for the rest of my life. You are right, not many men would "put up" with all I have put my family through but that is also why I am not with "many other men". I am with my husband. The man I fell in love with when I was 17yrs old, the man I had 2 beautiful babies with and the man that is teaching me how to love and be a better woman than I have ever been. A strong, loving, forgiving, amazing man.
And thats all very good. But do not think that a man that won't forgive this kind of thing isn't a great man. Not putting up with such disrespect does not make a man any less great.
So now that it is supposedly over, hopefully you won't make a fool out of him again.
Why would he say "absolutely not, I can see that would be nothing but trouble"?
I'm not saying that he did, but nobody could blame him if he did say this. Just asking a hypothetical to see if you truly will do whatever it takes to make it up to him.
I know you do not know him but I believe he would simply say he is not comfortable with it or depending on who I was going out with he would probably not have an issue with it.
Ok, however you want to word it. The sentiment is the same.
He knows all my friends and the ones that have not been "positive" to our relationship are not a part of my life anymore.
I did not have an affair on a girls nite out, I had it in my everyday life, at my job and he hasnt asked me to quit. (I offered).
I understand that. But once someone is found out to be a cheater, however it may have happened, then other activities start to not sit well with the betrayed spouse.