Re: I know I'm in the wrong but is this normal?
I dont understand why you think you had an affair. When you separated was that one of the stipulations (no sex with others) ? My understanding is you were planning to divorce and that is what your husband should have been expecting - you just never got round to it.
Also why did you miss your husband ? From what you say he sounds very insecure and controlling. Unless he has reason to be, he is not an attractive man.
There seems to be some details missing from your story else it is an open and shut case of you should leave and divorce him. Why do you want to stay ?
This is my quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To fight for the right, without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause