Originally Posted by Secondguessing View Post
That's an interesting legal question. We own one small house outright - that's the house I want. Right before I left, like 2 or 3 months before I left, we bought a large and beautiful house with just 3% down so not much equity in that house. She wants that house and she can have it. She also bought $9,000 worth of new furniture literally the day after we moved in. No way I'm paying for her furniture.
I don't know the specific details of your financial situation but from what you wrote above you are in line for a painful reality check. You sound just like most clueless people entering a divorce, including me about 10 years ago when mine first started.
We all say that.
No way I'm paying for ___________! (Because it's "not fair")
Fill in the blank with "her debts" or "her retirement with my hard earned pension" or "a mortgage on a house I don't even live in" or "support for a wife who can just go get a job but doesn't because she's lazy".
If I had to wager a guess based on the paragraph you wrote above, you definitely WILL be liable for at least half of her debts (maybe more if you make more money) including the furniture you'll never use and the house you won't ever live in again.
There's nothing fair about divorce, and split second decisions are made by a man or woman in a robe who will see 20 cases just like yours in any given day and they can't or just don't really care about how it might affect you, they just look at the raw numbers (income, assets) and split it roughly down the middle with adjustments made so each party walks away with what the court may randomly decide is a fair decision.
You want certainty? Then try to work out a settlement with her. Otherwise expect to walk out of the courtroom with your head spinning and wondering how you're going to be able to survive on what you're left with.
Edited to add. I just went back and read your first post, where you wrote "I just spend $2000 on a lawyer". That's small change compared to what it will cost you if the divorce becomes highly litigated. That's why you might have to make some huge concessions so that it doesn't cost you even more than giving her a generous settlement would.