Originally Posted by Secondguessing View Post
Seriously though - based on what do I pay spousal support? Other than the mortgage on the "big house" that she wants, I actually have more debt than she does.
Of course I have a lawyer. She wants us to mediate. If it comes down to it, I'll pay a reasonable amount of temporary support but a life-time of it? It sounds like a reward for being a cheater.
As I suggested to another poster on an unrelated thread- if you pm me your location and an approximate salary comparison between you and your soon to be exwife I can give you a rough idea of how much spousal support you can expect to pay and for how long, and I'll give you the link to the excellent source that I got it from.
I will tell you this much, the debt and the mortgage have little to do with the amount and duration of spousal support which is determined almost everywhere by salary, and the laws of that particular state in terms of how long- most states no longer order permanent alimony and some are at the other end of the spectrum where spousal support of any kind is rarely awarded, most fall somewhere in between.
Large asset awards can and often do reduce support obligations. If your salaries are about the same there probably won't be any spousal support, temporary or otherwise.
As far as support being a "reward" for a cheater.. it happens ALL the time. Typical scenario. Man marries wife, has 3 kids, a house, a mortgage. She cheats, they divorce, she gets the house, custody, child support and spousal support and he gets visitation with the kids every other weekend and once during the week and has maybe enough money left for a small apartment. Even worse, sometimes the betrayed husband gets to watch the OM move into his old house and take over what used to be his life.