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post #61 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 03:01 AM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

Do you live in one of the damnation states which requires you to wait a year to get a D final?


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #62 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:13 AM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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I don't understand why you think you will be paying spousal support. If you make around the same there will not be spousal support.
If the two parties make EXACTLY the same there probably will be no spousal support.

If they make "around" the same, then there MAY be spousal support calculated on the difference, which won't be much. In his state, it's typical to pay spousal support for about a third of the marriage.

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Do you live in one of the damnation states which requires you to wait a year to get a D final?
In his state it's 60 days after filing.
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post #63 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:57 AM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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@frustratedman



The texts the POS' wife sent covered a 3 month period but from the very first text, they were involved in a full-on, unprotected sex type affair. My wife says the affair only lasted 3 months - from the date of the first text to the date of the last text. That's why I'm saying her time-line doesn't make sense. Going by everything that I have read on affairs, and I have read SO MUCH about affairs over the last 2 years, that just doesn't happen. There are stages to affairs. According to my wife, they would have met and almost immediately launched a full blown PA.

What are the odds that she is telling the truth? WHO CARES?

It goes against everything I've read about affairs and it just seems convenient that she met the guy on the date of the first text and ended the affair on the date of the last text. I just don't buy it.

SHE DID IT BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO. LUST, ATTRACTION, OPPORTUNITY....

Actually, for months after D-Day, all I wanted to do was have sex with my wife. I can verify that hysterical bonding is real but also that it wears off and I was just left with a cheating wife. And yes, whenever I looked at her, I saw the POSOM

AND NOW YOU NO LONGER WILL HAVE TO. PUT HER IN YOUR REAR-VIEW. LET HER GO FIND SOME OTHER SCHMUCK TO EXPLOIT. SHE'S A USER.


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post #64 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 01:25 PM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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Originally Posted by browser View Post
If the two parties make EXACTLY the same there probably will be no spousal support.

If they make "around" the same, then there MAY be spousal support calculated on the difference, which won't be much. In his state, it's typical to pay spousal support for about a third of the marriage.



In his state it's 60 days after filing.
60 was mine, would have been 90 with child. If his is 60 with child, he and I are neighbors.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #65 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 02:15 PM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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60 was mine, would have been 90 with child. If his is 60 with child, he and I are neighbors.
He did not disclose his state on the public forum and neither did I.

Lots of states have 60 day waiting periods.

https://www.divorcewriter.com/how-lo...orce-take.aspx
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post #66 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 03:00 PM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

I thought 30/60/90 was the norm. Then I came here. Even couples with no kids have to wait a year

for D. I completely understand a longer wait when kids are involved. But FFS, 180 days is more than plenty.

No kids.... 60, maybe 90. A year... unneeded hardship.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #67 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 08:13 PM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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@nursejackie



I heard anti-depressants cause erectile dysfunction and I have recently been struggling with that. I think its physiological ED and fatigue plus the stress of divorce. I've never had this issue before but its come on recently. On the other hand, it does suck being depressed.
Wellbutrin works differently. It increases dopamine which gives you back the ability to feel pleasure. I had a complete hysterectomy and lost all my libido. I was accepting the fact that I would never want sex again and if I had duty sex I would get nothing out of it. When I went on Wellbutrin it was like a miracle. Just like a teenager again. I would try it. See how it works for both your depression and "other" concerns.
It did wonders in other areas for me to. Got me off my butt, interested in doing things again and seeing that things were possible. I was in a similar situation in that I was suspecting my H of having an A. Never did get conclusive evidence...
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post #68 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 11:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

@Bandit.25

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What are the odds that she is telling the truth? WHO CARES?

It goes against everything I've read about affairs and it just seems convenient that she met the guy on the date of the first text and ended the affair on the date of the last text. I just don't buy it.
I care. I just recently read a Chump Lady post to the effect that Chumps don't need to know the specifics but I would have needed to know to stay in the marriage. Its very possible that even if I knew and she gave me a time line I could believe in, I would have stayed angry, obsessed and left eventually anyway but who knows. Maybe that was the one thing I needed.

I'm still curious: what are the odds that they met and almost immediately launched a full blown affair? Not ver likely, is it?
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post #69 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 11:45 PM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

With both M, I assume it took it's own sweet time. But when it went EA to PA, Fing game on.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #70 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

@Chuck71

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With both M, I assume it took it's own sweet time. But when it went EA to PA, Fing game on.
That's what I mean - there must have been an initial EA followed by the PA. Her time - line only covered the PA. I want to know when the EA started.

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post #71 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:47 AM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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@Chuck71



That's what I mean - there must have been an initial EA followed by the PA. Her time - line only covered the PA. I want to know when the EA started.
You are way better off ending it trust me. I've been in R for years now and the mind movies are long gone but if I could go back I would have left the second I found out.
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post #72 of 72 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:40 AM
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Re: Second Guessing Decision to Divorce

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Originally Posted by Secondguessing View Post
@Chuck71



That's what I mean - there must have been an initial EA followed by the PA. Her time - line only covered the PA. I want to know when the EA started.
Why? You're done with her. Cheating is cheating. I never knew if mine did or not but I

still walked away when she refused to fight for our M.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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