I’d say that can be false. I’m an amazing wife short of what I did 4 years ago for 30 seconds. I cook dinner roughly 5 nights a week, almost every time what he would prefer to eat. He’s diabetic, I cater my menu to him and make sure he has things he’s supposed to eat. I do all of the grocery shopping, couponing, carrying in and putting away. I do all of the cleaning, all of the laundry, all of the running of the kids. I pay all of the bills, budget all of the money. I take care of the dogs, buy all of their food, take them to the vet, take them on walks and car rides, give them their baths. I pick up his medication and his insulin. If I’m out driving around running errands and he texts and says he wants something, I’ll stop and get it, even if it’s out of the way. Sometimes, I’ll drive it all the way home and go back out to finish my stuff just so he can have what he needs. If he plops his foot on my lap, he gets a foot rub. He gets back rubs several nights a week. He doesn’t leave the couch on weekends while I work from sun up to sun down on household chores. I work overtime at my primary job and have a second job to help pay the bills. If he mentions he wants something, he gets it. I shower him with affection, non stop. I hug him 2-3 times a day, kiss him more than that and sex is at his fingertips any time he wants it – 5-7 times a week. If we go on a date, we do what HE wants, even for my birthday. We finally got to go on our first vacation last year. We went where he wanted to go. I give him random gifts just because. I tell him please and thank you for everything and I tell him I appreciate the things that he does. I’ve extended more forgiveness to this man than any one person ever should. I’m decent looking, I’m in good shape. I get along with his friends, he’s never told he “can’t” do something like hang out with the guys. He does “guy stuff 3-4 times a week, every week” I could go on, and on and on. Not everyone who cheats is a sh*tty spouse.
With all do respect though very sacrificial and giving I think what you described there is more akin to a Mother child relationship (excluding the sex of course), not a husband and wife. I wonder if this contributed to the cheating in some way. I wonder if there were not so covert contracts being set up by you. "I will basically give you everything you want, but you have to give me everything I want".
This kind of thinking is not a healthy way to think of a marriage and with all do respect isn't what a man of character wants of his wife. I personally would be embarrassed if my wife had to do all these things for me. In the same respect I expect my wife to be my partner not my kid (if you get the analogy). I am trying really hard here not to put you down because I absolutely believe that your motives were right, but I think what your idea of a good wife is and what a good wife should be are different, at least for what I would want in a wife.
There is something to be said for you partner challenging you and also expecting you to live up to their reasonable expectations. So forgive me again but in reading you posts and hearing these things I think you need to work through some of this stuff. I would bet that some of this kind of thinking lead to that 30 seconds. It wasn't a healthy dynamic and in a way you enabled it. You should read "No more Mr nice guy", it's written for men but I think it could fall under some of this.
Just my two cents.