Do cheaters always cheat again? - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 04:33 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Originally Posted by prunus View Post
I guess I'm just odd. I would still see that as cheating. Prior to the Final Decree, you still would have been married. Perhaps, I'm too loyal.
Well, in my mind I am also extremely loyal, but my divorce took 4 years and no freaking way was I waiting THAT long for sex once I met the guy I wanted to marry the second time.


People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #77 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 04:38 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Well, in my mind I am also extremely loyal, but my divorce took 4 years and no freaking way was I waiting THAT long for sex once I met the guy I wanted to marry the second time.
Mine (well legal separation, not divorce) took about 7 weeks. But, I had a sexless marriage so I guess I'm just used to it. But, yes 4 years is a long time!
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post #78 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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If the other pending divorce party is going to town, I don't know what you are waiting for...

If you both agreed out of mutual respect to wait until the final degree, then kudos to you both.

Rarely does that ever happen.
We didn't have an agreement, that's just me. He's a serial cheater so it didn't matter where our relationship was, he did what he wanted anyway.
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post #79 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 04:50 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Come on guys, my posts are not that bad. But back on topic - my fWW cheated once, then cheated again, again, again and was getting close to another A. So what percent recidivism rate would that be?
Well beyond the point that you even need to consider whipping out a calculator.
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post #80 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:11 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Are those people who did kick the cheater out, is that what you're saying?
The ones who took swift action seemed to have done better. Everyone of those people just moved on. They had some months of pain but eventually they seemed happy.
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post #81 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:18 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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The ones who took swift action seemed to have done better. Everyone of those people just moved on. They had some months of pain but eventually they seemed happy.
Add me to that list. Totally agree with you.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #82 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:20 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Originally Posted by MAJDEATH View Post
Come on guys, my posts are not that bad. But back on topic - my fWW cheated once, then cheated again, again, again and was getting close to another A. So what percent recidivism rate would that be?
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post #83 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:23 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Add me to that list. Totally agree with you.
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Last edited by sokillme; 03-07-2017 at 07:01 PM.
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post #84 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:32 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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The ones who took swift action seemed to have done better. Everyone of those people just moved on. They had some months of pain but eventually they seemed happy.
I didn't take swift action and that was a HUGE mistake!
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post #85 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 11:06 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

Not every time but more often than not in my long experience. One of the first things I learned in Psychology is that a person's past behavior is a very good indicator of their future behavior. Every person I knew who cheated, did it again. Most do not get caught as easily the second time though.


Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.
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post #86 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 08:01 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

I think people misinterpret the saying "once a cheater always a cheater.". To me, it means that a person has shown themselves to be capable of cheating, whether due to circumstance or just because they can't help themselves, so the possibility that it will happen again will always be present.

Personally, I agree with this notion. I know that I will never, ever be able to fully trust my wife again. However, we are in a sexless marriage so honestly I don't much care. We are pretty much roommates and coparents, the is no real intimacy between us anymore.
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post #87 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:39 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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I think people misinterpret the saying "once a cheater always a cheater.". To me, it means that a person has shown themselves to be capable of cheating, whether due to circumstance or just because they can't help themselves, so the possibility that it will happen again will always be present.

Personally, I agree with this notion. I know that I will never, ever be able to fully trust my wife again. However, we are in a sexless marriage so honestly I don't much care. We are pretty much roommates and coparents, the is no real intimacy between us anymore.
Why stay?
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post #88 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:48 PM
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Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

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Why stay?
Divorce can be VERY expensive.
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post #89 of 89 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:11 PM
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Cool Re: Do cheaters always cheat again?

And a lot like me as a two-time BS, you just become so damned jaded and untrusting over the due course of time, that you just think that even if you married some convent-residing nun, that they'd probably end up cheating on you too!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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