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red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

60K views 172 replies 57 participants last post by  smokefire05 
#1 · (Edited)
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#157 ·
So yeah. Now she says their probably were some personal conversations....because logic would say so. But she swears nothing innappropriate. She can't remember conversations though cuz it wasn't important and it was 6 years ago that they worked together. She has called her best friend the one that told her to block him on FB a few times to tell me how it was when they all worked there together and that she doesn't think my wife did anything with this guy. But this girl keeps telling us that he was a creepy stalker who would show up to her house and other places that she would go to. I don't know why my wife keeps calling this friend to try and assure me nothing happened when everytime we talk to her she just throws out how crazy creepy this dude is. So why did my wife have zero issues with this dude, not tell me anything about him, try to get another job with or near him, and finally give him our address when he calls? Lots of weird stuff.
 
#158 ·
the only weird thing is that you have been going through this for 6 weeks and still you refuse to risk it all to find the truth when deep down inside you know what happened.

It's your life, dude, not mine but I couldn't go on in this marriage with such uncertainty.

What is your gameplan ? What is your path forward ?

Do you even have one ?
 
#159 · (Edited)
Just another update...we are still together.. and about 3 months ago I went through her phone and saw that he texted her through his work phone...saying that he just ate at her favorite fast food restaurant that just came to his town and that he was thinking of her. I took it to her and showed her she said that she didn't know who it was and she thought it was maybe someone she worked with since she said everyone knows she liked that restaurant and that she could've just deleted it. She asked who it was and then said to not talk to her anymore cuz her husband thinks she was cheating with him cuz he won't stop texting. He said oh I thought we were friends. And she saifd she has been out through hell. That was end of that. I called him and spoke to him. He denied it all and I just asked him a bunch of questions. We have now changed our phone numbers. I have also moved to a separate bank account, and she went kind of nuts after I did this.
 
#160 ·
You keep approaching her with no real proof... a text about her restaurant??? thats going to blow the cheating chest open?

You seriously need to learn to hold your cards a little closer to your chest. You almost make it TOO easy for her to lie about it

Most cheaters would never admit to anything unless you had factual proof of sex.... So stop approaching with 'resturant' texts
 
#162 ·
About 4 months ago I had some flowers delivered to her work that cost a lot...I could be naive and exaggerating here but when her supervisor asked her why I got her flowers and that if I was in trouble she said no then he asked if she was in trouble she said no...and that her mouth gets her out of trouble cuz she is really good with her mouth....the joke was about giving oral. Right after I got her flowers. She told me she didn't want to tell me that cuz I would freak out. Well I said you could also get fired.
 
#166 ·
Closing in on a year and you are still playing games. As my mom used to say "**** or get off the pot." Your wife KNOWS exactly who you are and doesn't care because she knows you'll complain, whine, beg and do everything possible to keep her happy.

Oh and that wasn't a joke, she was telling a truth, you want it to be a joke because you don't like the implication. In lay terms, she manipulates you with sex.
 
#167 ·
Hey. I appreciate all of the feedback. It does seem that I am a pathetic person. I've never been in a relationship before or even lived alone and this is all I know. I was too eager and jumped into this relationship too quickly. I have come to this forum for advice from people who have been in relationships and who have experienced things of this nature. Obviously my wife has a lot of experience. I take the negative feedback as well that tells me I need to probably create some hardship in my life to grow more skin and to have a backbone. It appears that I have put myself below other people in society due to a birth defect and thought I wasn't good enough. This enables people to manipulate and control me, not giving me respect in return . So thank you everyone.
 
#170 ·
Sorry to hear about your feelings.i was hurt in that manner.it was you know something is there but you can never seem to grasp it.my situation happen while I was in the hospital.my ex mother in law was watching my children for now ex and brought the children(4) back to our apartment and my daughter climbed threw the porch sliding glass door .my ex was on the floor and my daughter got an eye full.in the mean time mother in law was knocking on the front door demanding to get in .there were statements you are married and should not be doing that. Her partner jumped off 2nd floor door porch and started running .she called me at the hospital and gave a different story.i could hear mother in law in the background yelling.i did talk to my daughter and ask her what did she see that night later after I came home. My daughter said I saw a man run across the floor and pull up his pants.my ex lied to me even after I told her what my daughter said about the incident.i did get the full truth later threw home telephone calls later.i recorded them and my daughter was right.i would just take a break from your marriage till you get your head together
 
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