red flags everywhere or am I crazy? - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:25 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post
I've read your concerns and don't share them. That's why I posted the link so OP could see a couple where the W has very clear red flags but she passed a polygraph
We've had a handful of cases like that where the circumstantial evidence sure looked like there was an affair but there wasn't. Rare but it happens.

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post #77 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:46 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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post #78 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 05:00 PM
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Cool Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

Tell you what! If she ain't guilty of hauling somebody else's ashes, I'll sell you Kyle Field for $25.00!

And present you with a title!

Get yourself checked out for the presence of STD's and start a dialogue with a good family attorney!

The OM could literally be anybody! I think you're being hoodwinked!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

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post #79 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 08:35 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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I think I've said that twice already
I guess I cannot fathom how someone who sounds like a reasonably intelligent individual who is not directly connected to and influenced by the situation as is the betrayed husband, would simply accept the results of a test that is known to be prone to error and which in this particular case seems to be contradicted by almost indisputable evidence that points to an affair.
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post #80 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 08:55 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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So you think that his wife's explanation that she bought the lingerie and crotchless panties that she wore to work on several occasions, without ever telling him she purchased them in the first place, and never wore when she was with him, because she was just sort of "trying them out" and was "scared to wear them for him" is even remotely plausible and that he should just blindly accept the findings of the polygraph test and not question his wife further or at least keep an eye out for possible infidelity?

Because yeah, I don't.
I have to agree...if she didn't get them for the H...I don't believe see got crotch less underwear for herself... She bought them to "show" someone....since she kept them hidden from from you it's quite obvious...especially looking from the outside in....
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post #81 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

So I told her I want to run scans on her phones for his messages. She said no. Then said let's see what the therapist would say about that. Then I said ok ok. Then she cracked and said I could but that she wants to see them too so I don't take anything out of context.....omg..
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post #82 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 11:14 AM
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There is no way in hell she didn't cheat. OP is making mistake after mistake. Now that she knows he wants to get deleted texts she is going to have it wiped. The only way he is going to know for sure is a lie detector test.

OP's wife is gaslighting him and possibly hood winking. I not buying her explanations at all. If anything it just utterly proves she is lying. He is getting some bad advice in here too in my opinion.
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post #83 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 11:15 AM
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If the affair is still in going the only thing that has been accomplished is to push it so far underground it will be hard to expose it.
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post #84 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

First you shouldn't have asked her if you can recover texts, it is something that you just do. But you asked and she said no to recovering the texts and you allowed that? You should have just taken the phone right there. That is full blown evidence there is something major hiding in those texts.

Take the phone. Get her another one. This is bigger than you think.
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post #85 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 11:36 AM
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red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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post #86 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:50 PM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

No idea here why she can't just admit after I keep nagging her about it. I told her I would stay with her and not tell anyone and we can move on. Maybe they have blackmail on each other.
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post #87 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:53 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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No idea here why she can't just admit after I keep nagging her about it. I told her I would stay with her and not tell anyone and we can move on. Maybe they have blackmail on each other.
There's a host of reasons why a cheater won't admit the affair, even in the face of damning evidence that cannot be disputed.

"Mutual blackmail from the affair partner" is not usually on that list.

For starters, I highly doubt she believes you when you say you'd stay with her if she confesses an affair. Why should she? You don't believe her shen she says she didn't even have one.
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post #88 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

What so I'm supposed to belive her?


She probably just wants to keep it going
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post #89 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:08 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

How about approaching the POS. Tell him you know everything and you want him to come clean, otherwise you will be calling his wife with your "evidence". This is a bluff that has worked for others in the past.
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post #90 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:26 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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What so I'm supposed to belive her?


She probably just wants to keep it going
Exactly. You are at the point where you have to make a choice, follow your emotions and suffer, or kill your emotions and use logic. Killing your emotions (which can be done, anger is a good one to use to kill the others) will get you out of the trap you are in much faster. Holding on to them will keep you stuck.

Its like a Chinese finger trap.

Thouse who move through it with action and assertiveness do much better. Read and study up.
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