red flags everywhere or am I crazy? - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #106 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:09 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

Things are just not adding up. You are looking in the wrong direction... somehow. Kind of like when you think the sound is coming from directly in front but it actually directly behind. Its something but there are some oddities on whatever it is.

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post #107 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:15 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

Are you even reading anything we're posting here??

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #108 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

Now she's talking to me more about stuff...she's cheated in just about all of her relationships a lot of them the guys have kissed her but then people always walk in and interrupt.....whatever...lol...I'm going to lose my mind

She always plays the victim. She says I'm not forgiving her for the lies she's told me about this guy. I think it's kind of hard to do that with the context of the situation.

Last edited by youaremetoo; 03-15-2017 at 12:12 PM.
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post #109 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 12:29 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

You're dealing with a compulsive liar and serial cheater.

What's to forgive? It's just her being her. One doesn't need to forgive a snake for being a snake. Either you can accept her as a serial cheater who will do it again, and a compulsive liar, or you cannot accept her and need to move on.

In your case, this is pretty cut and dry.

You have all the data to make an informed decision.
good luck, I know it's hard to do the right thing sometimes.
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post #110 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 03:21 PM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Are you even reading anything we're posting here??
Guess not eh?

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #111 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 06:30 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

OP you are jumping around all over the place with your post.

Stop and take a breath. Calm down and talk with us. We can try and help but only if you slow down some and explain what is going on.
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post #112 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 07:32 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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She is a very sweet, kind, and nice person. She does try to make everyone happy.
YAMT,

FME, the pleaser type personality is primed for affairs.

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying... Andy, Shawshank Redemption.
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post #113 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

OK, this might sound strange, but I'm thinking about getting her totally on my side and manipulating her a bit. Talk about how much I want a 3 sum or something and tell her that my fantasies are other guys doing stuff to her. Then be like I'm not going to judge you for cheating or anything just tell me about it. This should in theory get her comfortable with me and talking more to me. She would be more willing to tell me since she is telling me other dark stuff about her life now. But if she's not actually cheating it could make her want to...that could be a weird rabbit hole.
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post #114 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:17 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Originally Posted by youaremetoo View Post
OK, this might sound strange, but I'm thinking about getting her totally on my side and manipulating her a bit. Talk about how much I want a 3 sum or something and tell her that my fantasies are other guys doing stuff to her. Then be like I'm not going to judge you for cheating or anything just tell me about it. This should in theory get her comfortable with me and talking more to me. She would be more willing to tell me since she is telling me other dark stuff about her life now. But if she's not actually cheating it could make her want to...that could be a weird rabbit hole.
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post #115 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:19 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Originally Posted by youaremetoo View Post
OK, this might sound strange, but I'm thinking about getting her totally on my side and manipulating her a bit. Talk about how much I want a 3 sum or something and tell her that my fantasies are other guys doing stuff to her. Then be like I'm not going to judge you for cheating or anything just tell me about it. This should in theory get her comfortable with me and talking more to me. She would be more willing to tell me since she is telling me other dark stuff about her life now. But if she's not actually cheating it could make her want to...that could be a weird rabbit hole.
Listen to yourself. You can't even cope with her cheating yet somehow you think you have the power to be a master manipulator? Why don't you manipulate your own self into actually dealing with this situation like a sane adult?

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post #116 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

What is a sane adult huh? Polygraph? Doesn't work.. bug her car? She doesn't talk to him.. Get deleted texts? First you have to root that erases the phone
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post #117 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:32 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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She doesn't mind him doing all that stalking, but she said I am cyber stalking looking at our phone records

And she's not anxious, she actually tells me to not be anxious about things
What kind of idiot claims you're 'cyber stalking' when you're looking at your OWN damned phone records?

She's SUCH a lying sack.

You'll find out.

Instead of continually BURYING your head in the sand, BOOK THE POLY. How the hell do YOU know it won't work? Stop being paralyzed by fear and DO something for Christ's sakes.
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post #118 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:39 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

Book a polygraph, blindside her with it. In the meantime have divorce papers drawn up. If she fails the poly, serve her on the spot. It appears that you are dealing with a liar, and to protect yourself you will need to be aggressive.
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post #119 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:48 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Originally Posted by youaremetoo View Post
OK, this might sound strange, but I'm thinking about getting her totally on my side and manipulating her a bit. Talk about how much I want a 3 sum or something and tell her that my fantasies are other guys doing stuff to her. Then be like I'm not going to judge you for cheating or anything just tell me about it. This should in theory get her comfortable with me and talking more to me. She would be more willing to tell me since she is telling me other dark stuff about her life now. But if she's not actually cheating it could make her want to...that could be a weird rabbit hole.
God, you are so pathetic.

Stop your passive ridiculous behavior and SPROUT a set for God's sakes. Your wishy-washy outlook and constant fear of your own shadow is about as UNATTRACTIVE to a woman as it can possibly get. No woman respects a coward.

Find your damned spine and start running the SHOW - which begins with a polygraph test for her lying ass.
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post #120 of 158 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:49 AM
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Re: red flags everywhere or am I crazy?

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Now she's talking to me more about stuff...she's cheated in just about all of her relationships a lot of them the guys have kissed her but then people always walk in and interrupt.....whatever...lol...I'm going to lose my mind

She always plays the victim. She says I'm not forgiving her for the lies she's told me about this guy. I think it's kind of hard to do that with the context of the situation.
You said she cheated in all of her relationships. You think she cheated now. What more do you need? You want to pretend to be a cuckold to gauge her reaction. If she says she's in to it, then what? Are you leaving? I'll never tell a guy what to be in to sexually if that's what you like. What is it that you are ultimately trying to do here?
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