Do you have any financial or legal ownership over the computer?
No
Depending on where you live, you could easily get an "invasion of privacy" charge for doing what we are discussing. Admittedly, very few people would bother to do so, but there may still be a risk.
Do you know what your state/country's laws are, relating to keyloggers?
Key loggers are illegal with out consent of the owner of the computer.
Why? He seems to be dishonest and untrustworthy. Why would it matter if he is f#cking other women or not, if he is still dishonest and untrustworthy?
Well because I would leave his ass. And the truth is all i want, I cant get it out of him. Things just are not right and haven't been in 2 years. Not to mention putting someones health at risk with STD's or WORSE.
This may very well only be my humble opinion, but when the relationship gets to a point where you have to become/hire a private investigator, it's time to get out.
How's he acting otherwise? Is his phone attached to his body? Posted via Mobile Device
I will try to make this as short as i possibly can..
When I was in the hospital after our son was born (2 1/2 years ago) I stayed in the hospital for 5 days due to having to have an emergency c-section.. H would leave for hours at a time a couple of times a day while i was in the hospital. He would tell me he was going home to check on things (his oldest daughter was living with us, she was 18 at the time, and his son (16) was staying here also) I never thought anything of it... I wonder if he was really going home or what, now.
Summer 2010
H's oldest son spent the entire summer with us this year.. I over heard a couple of things during his stay here... One afternoon I went down stairs to get the laundry(we had all the computers in the basement) I was going back up stairs and I opened the basement door (H must have thought I closed it) This is what I heard, I missed the very first part of the conversation, due to me opening the door.
H -said something about a BJ
H's son- "and how will you get her in the house?"
H-"through the window"
This is what pretty much started it all for me.
The a little while later (a month or so) I went into the spare bed room to get something. H and his son were in the kitchen. As I was making my way back to the kitchen. I heard
H's son- "how many time have you banged her"
H- "only twice"
I thought for the longest time, i had miss heard what had really been said... But i can still remember it so clearly like it was a few hours ago.
He hasnt had a cell phone for about a year now.. He got rid of it when i told him i wanted to see his call logs.. And he was pissed when i asked him i wanted them.. I never did get them. H told me that It would have been 75.00 to get them.. I called his wireless provider later that day and it would have been ONLY 35.00 to get his call logs.. LIE. I couldn't get them I was not on his account. He went through cricket and they dont keep records online either, if ya want them u have to order them at one of their stores.
His phone would ring a lot. He wouldn't answer his phone in front of me.. I would ask him who called and he said it was the wrong number (how would he know that, he didn't answer it)
Also the data and the talk time on his phone didn't add up to the calls and data,he did leave on his phone. Damn delete button... I never found anything on his phone...
He is distant, emotionally detached, Mean... He tries to pick fights with me and tries to push my buttons to get me pissed off. He has pushed me away. We hardly ever used to fight..He won't help me around the house, he doesn't even help me with our son... I can't even get him to take the garbage out. It is like he would rather be anywhere else, BUT here...
Sex, I dont even know what sex is anymore. It happens once in a blue moon.. AND only when I bring it up. When it does happen it is more like a chore for him and he only does it to shut me up, because I get really *****y, when has been way to long...
What makes it a 'secret' email account? Does one spouse's lack of knowledge of it automatically make it 'secret'?
Just wondering.
Regardless, I wouldn't advocate committing a crime (and, yes, hacking another person's email account is a crime) because you don't like the fact they have an email account of which you were previously unaware.
Here's a crazy thought ... instead of breaking the law to snoop on your husband, why not first sit down and have a mature discussion with him about why he needs a 'secret' email account? Posted via Mobile Device
My husband knows all of my passwords, my email accounts and the passwords for them..
It is a secret when you dont know about it and u just happen to stumble across it one day.
Usually when someone hides something from you, like an email account, they dont want you to know about it for a reason!!!
Have a mature discussion about it... BEEN THERE DONE THAT.. Obviously that got me no where or i wouldn't be here, still... He will just lie about, just like he has about everything else.
Once you have been there yourself, you will never know what it is like...
I can get slapped with charges I don't really care, if my H has an email account that I'm not aware of on our, yes "our" not "his" computer, it's my business. Why not sit down and have a "mature" conversation about it? Are you for real? Do you think if your SO is carrying on something with someone else through email that they would admit it? And in my H's case he could have shown me his email and I would have seen nothing, it was only by doing digging in the email that I found saved chats, not emails.
Especially when you've already decided your SO is guilty. Why bother asking the question when you've already made up your mind about the answer? Posted via Mobile Device
I haven't made up my mind if he is guilty or not. I dont have any solid proof, just a feeling i have had for over a year.. His actions/inaction.. I hope to GOD i am wrong about it, but i am beginning to think that i have been dead on the entire time.
Download uTorrent. Google "pirate bay keylogger". Search for one that you like.
And only download freeware.
You know I am not an idiot... Free keyloggers usually have viruses in them or other harmful things.
Aren't you the one who has been cheating on his wife with several different woman over the last 11 years? Is that why you really have an issue with me "snooping" on my husband. What would you do if the situation was reversed.. Wouldn't you WANT to know?
You know I am not an idiot... Free keyloggers usually have viruses in them or other harmful things.
Aren't you the one who has been cheating on his wife with several different woman over the last 11 years? Is that why you really have an issue with me "snooping" on my husband. What would you do if the situation was reversed.. Wouldn't you WANT to know?
Ah yes...that's why when I used the wink smiley face, I wasn't at all suggesting that you illegally download licensed products, while noting all of the comments, number of downloads, and overall rating of the torrents of interest, to minimise the chance of malware contraction. You don't have to worry about the "7 day trial" nonsense if you do this.
As for your second paragraph, in my humble opinion, acting like a private investigator is unhealthy behaviour. Whether he has cheated or not, the fact is, you don't trust him. He's demonstrated behaviour that has lead you not to trust him.
Your husband is emotionally and sexually neglectful. Apparently, he's gotten his son to hide his infidelities from you. The relationship is full arguments and passive-aggressive behaviour. The relationship has also made you completely paranoid. That's enough of a reason to divorce.
Ah yes...that's why when I used the wink smiley face, I wasn't at all suggesting that you illegally download licensed products, while noting all of the comments, number of downloads, and overall rating of the torrents of interest, to minimise the chance of malware contraction. You don't have to worry about the "7 day trial" nonsense if you do this.
As for your second paragraph, in my humble opinion, acting like a private investigator is unhealthy behaviour. Whether he has cheated or not, the fact is, you don't trust him. He's demonstrated behaviour that has lead you not to trust him.
Your husband is emotionally and sexually neglectful. Apparently, he's gotten his son to hide his infidelities from you. The relationship is full arguments and passive-aggressive behaviour. The relationship has also made you completely paranoid. That's enough of a reason to divorce.
I completely agree.... But i am a stay at home mom.. I have no income what so ever. I don't have a job, I have been actively looking for months now and i haven't gotten any call backs. If it were only myself, I would have been gone months ago, but I have a child to think about and without me being able to find a job it will be impossible to support him.
I dont trust him (I used to) and trusting someone for me is very hard to begin with, and sorry to say once I lose it, I dont think it will ever come back.
I am paranoid, you are right.. It is completely unhealthy, but I have to know!! That is just the way I am. My brain wont shut off.. It is going at 5000 RPM non-stop all day everyday. The last 2 days I have had a migraine that I cant get to stop =(.
I have been up for over 24 hours, because i can't sleep.
Sometimes I feel like I am loosing my damn mind-- is that normal?
I tried this.. I have to either reset his password with an alternate email account (It does show part of the email to reset the password, i didn't know about that one either.) or talk to customer service.
Will it let you use one of your own email accounts? When I reset my H's password, I typed in my email account and the link to reset the password went there, his account was a gmail account, I forget which kind you said your SO's was.
I was reading your other post about things that you have heard your H say to his son, among other things...whoa, if what you think you heard is what was really said, he is a major D-Bag. Things that people will do to their SO never cease to amaze me. I don't understand, if somebody wants to have the kind of life where they can bang whoever, do whatever then why get married?? And if they decide after they get married that marriage is not what they want, as much as it will hurt the other person, grow a pair and end it, in the long run it will be better for both people involved....I really hope that you figure out what you need to do and find the evidence you need, whether it be nothing or something, at least you'll have your answers....
trusting someone for me is very hard to begin with, and sorry to say once I lose it, I dont think it will ever come back.
I am paranoid, you are right.. It is completely unhealthy, but I have to know!! That is just the way I am. My brain wont shut off.. It is going at 5000 RPM non-stop all day everyday.
It's so funny how much the way you describe yourself describes me haha
Will it let you use one of your own email accounts? When I reset my H's password, I typed in my email account and the link to reset the password went there, his account was a gmail account, I forget which kind you said your SO's was.
I was reading your other post about things that you have heard your H say to his son, among other things...whoa, if what you think you heard is what was really said, he is a major D-Bag. Things that people will do to their SO never cease to amaze me. I don't understand, if somebody wants to have the kind of life where they can bang whoever, do whatever then why get married?? And if they decide after they get married that marriage is not what they want, as much as it will hurt the other person, grow a pair and end it, in the long run it will be better for both people involved....I really hope that you figure out what you need to do and find the evidence you need, whether it be nothing or something, at least you'll have your answers....
My husband has turned into a D-bag. He was never like this before.. The sad thing is i can't talk to anyone about this because they don't believe my h would ever cheat on me. I have tried to talk to my mom and my aunt.. Both of them said HE WOULD NEVER... Soo i have no one to talk to about this mess.. All i can do is hold it in, until i can't anymore. So i post here just to get it out, before i explode...
I am really thinking about calling my uncle over here, one day and have him go through my h's computer.. He is an IT guy and works for the government. He knows what he is doing. He might be able to find things I can't. He used to be a hacker when he was younger....
I am pretty sure what I heard is what i heard. I have been hanging on to it for over a year!! I did ask him about what i heard both times and he acted like he had no idea what he was talking about.
My husband has turned into a D-bag. He was never like this before.. The sad thing is i can't talk to anyone about this because they don't believe my h would ever cheat on me. I have tried to talk to my mom and my aunt.. Both of them said HE WOULD NEVER... Soo i have no one to talk to about this mess.. All i can do is hold it in, until i can't anymore. So i post here just to get it out, before i explode...
I am really thinking about calling my uncle over here, one day and have him go through my h's computer.. He is an IT guy and works for the government. He knows what he is doing. He might be able to find things I can't. He used to be a hacker when he was younger....
I am pretty sure what I heard is what i heard. I have been hanging on to it for over a year!! I did ask him about what i heard both times and he acted like he had no idea what he was talking about.
I was lucky in the fact that my mom believed me when I told her what my H was up to, but with her it's sh*t or get off the pot, there was really no talking to her about it because she's not a talker. It always started off the same with me telling her, her saying all the "mom" things and then saying you need to decide what you need to do, and that was pretty much that. My parents would support me in any decision that I made, but I had no person that I could talk to that could just be neutral and listen and offer up some real advice besides "leave him".
Well you have a very good resource in your Uncle and you should totally use it. He will prolly be able to dig up more than you would be able to with the experience that he has.
I feel so frustrated for you, because you know what you heard, and you heard it more than once, and to have him tell you he doesn't know what you're talking about..that would drive me crazy....but, again, my H did the same things to me both with things that I had heard and things that I read....like I said, amazing....
Re: H has a secret email account 
