Well...you and her come from a culture that is a bit more practical and pragmatic when it comes to marriage. As I understand it, Indians do not always marry for love. Many old school Indian marriages are still arranged.
If I were a betting man, I would venture to say that you were a safe bet. She was rejected by the man she really loved. She came here, met you and you seemed safe and dependable and you adored her. You had citizenship and a steady income and prospects. (Stop me if I'm getting off track) I think she married you for the green card. I really do.
So, here she has this good man who worships her, is willing to offer her stability and security...but she doesn't really love him the way he loves her. She probably gave it the good old college try for a 15 years..tried to be a good and proper wife to you...but she couldn't sustain the act. And when the opportunity presented itself to go after a man who she thought could give her what she was lacking, she took it.
Now she knows she's in trouble. She's about to lose her nest-egg and her stability. She's not afraid of losing you, just the life you provided her.
Look just because she cheated with another man, does not mean that you are an unattractive person. There are a lot of very good looking people on TAM here...many...who are very good looking, successful, outgoing and well-liked...and they still got cheated on. Being attractive and "successful" does not make you immune to being jilted. Your wife cheated on you because she is weak, broken and lacks integrity. It has nothing to do with you or your weight or your apnea. If your WW was not happy, she could have done the right thing and divorced you without humiliating you. So do not blame yourself. Blame her. She is the deficient one.
You are correct about most if not all of that. You are not off-track at all. But I still have years of experience to show me that women never really liked me or cared for me. Although for 15 years I tried to rationalize it away, my wife was just another in a long line. I've given up now. I really don't care. But I suppose that's why I included the "unattractive" part.
Although I didn't know about the online affair in October, when my wife left the country I thought for sure she was leaving me for her OM. I was trying to brace myself for major devastation. I was expecting her to ask me for a divorce, and I prepared myself as best I could to let her go for her happiness.
In many ways that would have been preferable to what is happening now, which is having the affair, both online and physically, and then trying to tug at my heart-strings and manipulate me to get back with me.
Yes, even though she denies it (I did accuse her of it), she knows very well that she had a good life with me, with practically unlimited freedom, but she took me for granted and is scared of losing it now. She freaked out when I told her that I had talked to our attorney about divorce.