sigma1299

You may not be able to physically make him leave but you can reside in the same house as simply co-inhabitants and not man and wife - instructions, guidance, and how to do this are in "the 180." Someone please post up a link for Catrina...

As for why he does the back and forth, he is having his cake and eating it to, "cake eating." And what a wonderful thing to be able to do. I promise he will continue it, and fight you to be able to do so, as long as you and the other woman will allow him to.

Find the threads on the 180 and do it.

Eli-Zor

The 180 is in the newbie thread

Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this
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EleGirl

Because you and she both let him.

And because it's he likes having two women who fill his needs. It's a high for him.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

Catrina

i know about the 180 i have been reading this forum since i first found out about his affair, just read didnt join and i was doing ok with leaving them to it untill he contacted me we would meet for a coffee or whatever and the same old im sorry from him would fall out of his mouth and id fall for it, i really loved and foolish me still do love my partner and when i discovered first it was like being run over by a train, heartbroken still am, cant get my head around how someone can change so much and get so hard hearted and cold with someone they loved, its not the same person its like a dream or living nightmare

sigma1299

Affairs are perfectly selfish. They make no sense to anyone other than the two people in them because of that. People in affairs don't see it as hurting their spouse via their affair partner. They see their spouse and their AP as two separate worlds, and that as long as they can keep the two from interacting with each other all is good. When the two worlds do interact all the cheater wants to do is get them back to their respective corners ASAP and then carry on.

It sucks but it's the way cheaters see things - at least while they're cheating.

Catrina

he got an emai from her on tuesday, he told me wed daytime and said its wasnt over and his AP said they needed to talk.. duh.. i answered saying who tf is this woman to be able to say its not over as far as she is concerned, he said it wasnt over as far as he was concerned either and needed closure and was meeting her that night, i told hom he wasstarting things all over again deaf ears, and do you know i felt like the third party in our realtionship not her but me, i asked him but didnt demand him not to go and he said that if he didnt go that night he would only go again some other day, i told him that if he went he wouldnt come home and he promised me he would and he would ring me later, i knew that wouldnt happen an sure enough not a peep, was so hard sitting there and he getting ready to meet another woman didnt hear a thing for 2days

Catrina

he rang me yesterday.. new yrs eve.. to say he was sitting in his car for the past couple of hours and felt awful could he come home for a bit and talk, anyway in he comes sits down and couldnt look at me eyes on the floor the whole time never looked up from the floor i asked him where he went with her as he was supposed to be just meeting for a beer or coffee, he told me he wentto her house as she didnt feel well enough to go out, and somehow*** ended up staying the night and when he woke up he thought he was at home................ must have been a flying carpet that brought him home, such c--p,thought for a min he was at home