Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Update: I asked how the kids were she said they were sick, I offered to take care of them as I have one week off work. She declined. Instead she had to hire a nanny for the 1 1/2 year old and the 3 yr old was sent to preschool sick.

And I ask how where kids are and how they are doing . Texts are "I already told you" basically. To get any info I have to ask twice.

It just disgusts me that I have to build my case to help the kids, I can't just take them to be with me to help them.

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post #32 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 06:14 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Fresh is this the man you want to show your daughter to marry dome day, a man who would put up with a continuous cheater....and you know in your heat that you are never going to be enough for her, and what of your son, are you going to tell him that it's okay to be a doormat, to be cuckold the rest of your life....face it you screwed up the first time when she slept with her boss and you took her back...if you stay with her then you will have to look in the mirror everyday and realize that you are a doormat, and telling her that it's okay to continue her actions....
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post #33 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 06:16 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

To your update, you need to keep track of everything for court documents.....her texts everything...she may be an unfit mom as well.
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post #34 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:16 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Your lawyer should be able to petition to have the temp custody conditions changed. She can't dictate to you when you can or cannot have the kids.

I hate...HATE....vindictive, mean women who use their kids to exact meanness on their kids fathers.
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post #35 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:51 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

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Originally Posted by 3putt View Post
Would you seriously be okay with having your name disparaged as a person and husband as a reason for her doing what she is doing without a rebuttal?

Seriously?

If people only hear one side of the story, then they're way more inclined to buy into the only story they are hearing.
For the most part I don't really give a crap about what other people think. The small handful that matter, will know before I even tell them.
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post #36 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:59 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Let the divorce papers do the talking. Have her served at work in front of everyone she knows.
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post #37 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 08:25 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

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Update: I asked how the kids were she said they were sick, I offered to take care of them as I have one week off work. She declined. Instead she had to hire a nanny for the 1 1/2 year old and the 3 yr old was sent to preschool sick.

And I ask how where kids are and how they are doing . Texts are "I already told you" basically. To get any info I have to ask twice.

It just disgusts me that I have to build my case to help the kids, I can't just take them to be with me to help them.
You should be able to be with/have your children without her "declining". You need to get child custody worked out ASAP. It's pretty obvious that you need to a) get to a lawyer, and b) get your finances separated from her. She is manipulating you with the children -- you need to make sure you document all of this (save those emails!!).
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post #38 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:12 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

I am continually astonished at how some women think that their children are their personal property, and that their husbands have no input as to the visitation schedules, when they are allowed to see their own kids, etc.... It just astonishes me that women in today's society are not more privy to how little power they actually have. They are so entitled and delusional, they actually think their decisions carry the weight of law.
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post #39 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:18 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

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I know this is unsalvageable, point is to put guilt on the other party idk what she told him read this in another post:

Confronting the Other Person
You are NOT going to want to do this face to face. I do not ever tell anyone to do this face to face. Emotions can really go wild and you will find yourself behaving in ways you wish you never did. It's better to either write a letter or an email. You only want to say this, "I know that you are having an affair with my husband/wife. I love him/her very much and I want to save my marriage and keep my family together. Your relationship with my husband/wife is NOT okay. This affair is coming in between us and making it impossible to heal our marriage. Please respect our marriage and end all contact with (spouse's name) forever.


I wanted to leave a note ( I know where they live) that my younger daughter will need counseling soon because of all this and that my youngest son is already showing signs of anxiety seperation.
It might make you feel better to confront the other guy, but do you think he cares?

It is a waste of time and just make the divorce more contentious.

Drop it.
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post #40 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 09:22 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Don't physically confront him. And believe me, I wanted to do this when I was going through this. Even if you lay him out, it will only make things worse for you in one way or another in the long run. Take solace in the fact that she's his problem now.

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post #41 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

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Don't physically confront him. And believe me, I wanted to do this when I was going through this. Even if you lay him out, it will only make things worse for you in one way or another in the long run. Take solace in the fact that she's his problem now.
I am keeping my emotions in check I won't be confronting him. He is spending the night at her house now with the kids present.
Red Flag was 4 years ago she dropped one relationship for the other in a matter of days. That is the type of person she is.

Started working out , starting the new job on Monday.
Going to visit the kids at her place to make sure they are ok. I really don't want to see her but I don't want her dragging the sick kids out in the cold just to meet me so I am going there.

Thank you again for the responses and good advice
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post #42 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:44 AM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

This would be good to familiarize yourself with.

http://dadsdivorce.com/articles/pare...public-health/

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #43 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:22 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Know the feeling. I found out a different way. She did not clean herself too well before we had oral sex. I do not know what would be worse; seeing her have sex or tasting the result of her having sex.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #44 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:40 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

Quote:
Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
I am continually astonished at how some women think that their children are their personal property, and that their husbands have no input as to the visitation schedules, when they are allowed to see their own kids, etc.... It just astonishes me that women in today's society are not more privy to how little power they actually have. They are so entitled and delusional, they actually think their decisions carry the weight of law.
They don't think their decisions carry the weight of the law, but they are depending on weak men to believe these lies. The only reason that it works is because the men it is directed at believe it.
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I am keeping my emotions in check I won't be confronting him. He is spending the night at her house now with the kids present.
Red Flag was 4 years ago she dropped one relationship for the other in a matter of days. That is the type of person she is.

Started working out , starting the new job on Monday.
Going to visit the kids at her place to make sure they are ok. I really don't want to see her but I don't want her dragging the sick kids out in the cold just to meet me so I am going there.

Thank you again for the responses and good advice
You can pick your children up and take them home with you. They need you in their lives. Leaving them with a babysitter while you are at home alone is foolish. Go the house, tell the babysitter you are taking your children and will call 911 if she tries to block you and you will have her charged with kidnapping. Get the police involved if necessary. You are rolling over like a trained dog. If this is how you live your life you may as well just give up now.

I am also wondering why on earth you are switching jobs to a new job where you will be working with you STBXW and her lover. What are you thinking?

For more on my marriage philosophies check out the marriage section of my website:
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Standard Evidence Thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ence-post.html
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post #45 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:42 PM
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Re: Marriage going downhill, caught my wife cheating

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Know the feeling. I found out a different way. She did not clean herself too well before we had oral sex. I do not know what would be worse; seeing her have sex or tasting the result of her having sex.
@Vinnydee

Thanks for this. Going to print it out and stick it on the freezer door the next time my GF buys chocolate chip ice cream.
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