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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Have you had with your wife since you fount out that she cheated?

Do not have sex with her anymore. Legally, if you know she cheated and continue to have sex, she can argue in court that you forgave her for cheating.

So, no more sex and establish that you are now separated. You can probably live under the same roof for a while and be considered separated. But see a lawyer ASAP, do what they say you need to do to establish that a separation started on day you found out about her adultery. Or at least as soon as possible.

Do you think she would move out if you asked her to?
No, but she tried to have me. Thank you. And no she won't move out because she "doesn't believe in divorce". Thanks for the advice. I have a friend attorney that I will speak too. But I had read somewhere that we have to be physically seperated for 6 months but now I believe that has something to do with filing in terms of seperation.

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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
The dudes sleeping with his nephews wife and you don't think the reflects on him? Um OK.
I think that the point was that the OP's first concern should be with his wife and her actions.
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

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Originally Posted by EyeOfHorus View Post
No, but she tried to have me. Thank you. And no she won't move out because she "doesn't believe in divorce". Thanks for the advice. I have a friend attorney that I will speak too. But I had read somewhere that we have to be physically seperated for 6 months but now I believe that has something to do with filing in terms of seperation.
Get yourself to a lawyer asap as their are ways around the year long separation. You've been married such a short amount of time it's highly doubtful you've acquired any assets/liabilities so your gonna have a simple divorce.

She can try to fight and state "she doesn't believe in divorce" but it really irrelevant, the divorce would happen. Given difference from your stbx and uncle she sounds like she has some "daddy" issues. It's best you cut this one loose, learn from the experience and improve your picker and what you truly want in a partner.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday

Last edited by honcho; 03-12-2017 at 02:02 PM.
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

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Originally Posted by EyeOfHorus View Post
No, but she tried to have me. Thank you. And no she won't move out because she "doesn't believe in divorce". Thanks for the advice. I have a friend attorney that I will speak too. But I had read somewhere that we have to be physically seperated for 6 months but now I believe that has something to do with filing in terms of seperation.
A lot of couples live in the same house while separated. This is because many couples cannot afford to two places right away.

Do not sleep in the same bed with her. Just start living your life in a way that excludes her in every way possible.

Shoot, once you expose her to everyone, she might feel that she has no choice but leave. Have your family come and hang out at your house and talk loudly about her having sex with your uncle. That should chase her out of the house. LOL

Talk to your lawyer.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

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I think that the point was that the OP's first concern should be with his wife and her actions.
Coming back to this, my main concern is the wife. But that is my ****ing uncle. I will probably hit him but he's 6"3 260lbs so itll just be for dramatic purposes. I'm not having my father deal with him or this for me, but he should be informed as to why I am leaving my wife after only 5 months. He should also be aware of how much of a pos my uncle is.

And to even prove the point of my wife being my main concern I spoke to Nathan (from the text logs I edited and provided in my original thread.) But him being so low on my list of concerns, I'm not even super angry with him at this point.
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:05 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

You should be talking with divorce attorneys first thing tomorrow morning.

And yes, marrying this ho was AMAZINGLY stupid.

Live and learn, do better.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."

Last edited by GusPolinski; 03-12-2017 at 02:10 PM.
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:14 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

1) Get legal advise about how soon you can end this sham of a marriage.
2)separate as soon as you can
3) tell your dad about what she has done
4) make sure your uncles wife knows. He has had time now to cook up a story, but you have proof for her if she wants it.
5) If possible tell the wives/partners of the other men she has cheated with.
6) Get tested for STD's asap.
Thank goodness there are no children involved.
How ironic that she doesn't believe in divorce and yet she believes in being a serial adulterer, lying, deceiving and treating you terribly.

I have NO idea why you married her, I would have run a mile.
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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:16 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

I broke it off with my ex fiancee and then the next one, for cheating. One thing I learned in life is that a person's past behavior is a very good indicator of their future behavior. If your wife was willing to break your trust once, you should have realized that she could do it again. I do not care how much I love a woman. If she cheats on me, she is gone. I have never had a problem finding girlfriends so regular sex or having a woman with me, was never a reason to hold on to a loser.

You are right about what may happen if you let her go. My ex fiance went on to drug addiction, mental illness, having a baby from one of several men who she did not know how to find, and finally cheating on her husband and then marrying the woman she was cheating with. The other one went on to become addicted to crack, a prostitute and then a stripper. She married her best lap dance customer who was 11 years older than her but rich. I feel no responsibility for their bad lives. They made their choices and they have to live with the consequences of their decisions. Women like that can drag you down with them.

As a result of freeing myself from the two cheating women, I met my wife of 44 years. She enabled me to focus on my career, make money and provide us a great life. Plus she is a faithful as they come despite not having to be.

You are correct in saying that it sounds like a made up post which many on the internet are. Does not matter as long as I can share an experience. At the age of 65 I want to give back and let others know how to learn from my mistakes and accomplishments. Most of all I want others to know that they do not have to live in the box that religion and society puts us in. Why anyone sticks with a marriage system that has a failure rate of 50%, boggles my mind. Most people are content in being led by what others have established for them thousands of years ago when the structures we now live in had a purpose whose time has come and gone. In both business and my personal life, I have succeeded by thinking outside of the box. My signature says it all. People will prefer to drown in a system that is broken and proven to not work very well, rather than establish or seek a different set of rules to live by.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 03-12-2017 at 02:31 PM.
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:30 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeOfHorus View Post
Coming back to this, my main concern is the wife. But that is my ****ing uncle. I will probably hit him but he's 6"3 260lbs so itll just be for dramatic purposes. I'm not having my father deal with him or this for me, but he should be informed as to why I am leaving my wife after only 5 months. He should also be aware of how much of a pos my uncle is.

And to even prove the point of my wife being my main concern I spoke to Nathan (from the text logs I edited and provided in my original thread.) But him being so low on my list of concerns, I'm not even super angry with him at this point.
Your wife took vows and broke them. She is your first line of concern right now because the two of you are legally bound at this time. She can screw you mover in more was than just having sex with other men.

Of course, your uncle and friend are concerns as well. But they have no legal bound to you. They are both scum bags; people who you should completely end all contact with. Neither of them care for you or have any respect for you. My bet is that your uncle’s actions will fracture your extended family.

You need to tell her family as well since they need to know why you are divorcing her as well.

Those text messages are not enough to prove anything in court. To get a divorce based on adultery you need to prove that she had sexual intercourse with another man.

Get a VAR (voice activated recorder), hide it on your body. Then have a conversation with her and talk about her adultery. Get her to admit that she had sex with at least one of those men. Her admitting to sex with all of them would be even better. Get her to state the dates when this happened. Don’t let her know that you recorded her. Copy the recordings to some storage divorce and/or cloud that she does not have access to.

Then give your lawyer a copy of her admitting/discussing her having sex with other men.

Virginia's wiretapping law is a "one-party consent" law. Virginia makes it a crime to intercept or record any "wire, oral, or electronic communication" unless one party to the conversation consents. Virginia Code 19.2-62.

Since you will be a party to the recorded conversation, you can be the one party that consents.

Get this recording before you start telling everyone about her adultery. She might stop talking once you do tell others.
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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 03:02 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

You are 28 yo and yet you know about eye of horus?

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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 03:26 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

Eye,

I am going to be completely honest and transparent with you.

First and foremost you are taking all this remarkably, nay fantastically better than our standard contributor might.

Unfortunately your arrival on TAM is every bit as unlucky as your choice of spouse. What I mean by that is, you are operating in the jetwash of many recent posters who followed a certain pattern which was to:

Kickoff their very first post on TAM by initiating a thread that was likely to trigger a large number of our members. And then after at most one more post they disappeared.

Sadly, I have no special powers. No mechanism for definitively identifying trolls for psychology majors who might be studying the level of cynicism/gullibility of various online communities.

All I have is a very qualitative 'cost/benefit' model which I employ in these situations. That model is telling me, that this thread needs to be locked at least temporarily while I confer with my fellow mods.

One complaint I sometimes hear on TAM is that the mods act without clearly explaining their reasoning. With that in mind, I will share with you, the position I will take with my peers: Eye seems perfectly fine with what is happening. Many of our members will however seriously trigger off his - story. Therefore I recommend a permanent thread lock.




Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeOfHorus View Post
I'm 28yo, wife is 32.

Summary
-She slept with her boss nearly 2 and a half years ago.
-I believed we resolved the issue and I stupidly stopped being suspicious and stopped monitoring her because it didn't feel right and so the affair continued for another two years.
-We got married in October, wife quit her job to "end the affair".
-Early this week she began acting stupidly suspiciously in a car ride and would not let me use her phone for GPS after mine had died, so I tapped her phone to send all her SMS automatically to my e-mail.
-Three days later, I acquire 100% evidence that she is sleeping with my uncle (who is more newly married than I), her best friend and my supposed friend, one of my coworkers, and her new boss.

Okay, so... It's hard not to laugh not just at my own stupidity here for marrying this girl, but also with everything that has gone down. So please be nice!

We've been together now seven years but only married for five months. The reason why this is so hard is because our relationship really just has been built solely around friendship more than anything. But I've never once cheated on her or anyone.

I can't even legally be divorced until after a year and the messed up part is that I still care about her but just for her wellbeing. If I leave now, she will do horribly in life.

But over the past few days, I've been talking to another girl (the now exgirlfriend of the coworker that my wife slept with). Lol. It's not what you guys are thinking, I actually recently have decided that I really care for this girl. She seems to feel the same. But she recently had her heart broken as well and I don't want to get further involved until I've fully resolved everything with my now-wife because I don't want to screw this girl over. What's even more messed up is I feel bad just talking to this girl with regards to already being married.

Now, I'm pretty sure I know what everyone is going to suggest. I will never trust this girl again. She will cheat again because I cannot provide for her whatever the hell it is she needs. I just think I care too much. I've even had the thought that maybe we could just be friends, living together married while we both just **** around. But that's not a life that I desire, I know that what would happen is she would just be able to sleep with everyone (and I mean everyone), and I wouldn't sleep with anyone. Although I only have evidence of her sleeping with a total now of five men, four while married and one while engaged, I'm pretty sure there must be others. I am confident she's slept with more people while in a relationship with me, than I've slept with in my 28 years of life. It's actually not even that I'm unattractive, I used to model, I just know I would choose not to put myself out there.

Believe me, there's a lot more I could share, but just looking for some thoughts. Also, should I tell my father? It's basically just my uncle, my father and I in this area (as far as family) and I am expected to be by for a family dinner next Sunday. My father would more than likely murder my uncle, but I feel like he could offer a lot of advice and even a place to crash if I needed.


[EDIT]
A lot of people tend to think this is not real. So I'm including this in the main thread.

And to address the issue of is this real? Could I even make this **** up? Well I am a writer. But here are some of the messages. They paint a pretty clear picture despite outgoing messages not being recorded because she would delete them as they send and phone tapping software requires manual data request.

SMS Type Date/Time Remote Number Text
Received Mar 5, 09:43 AM 41310 "WELL-PAID *** VACANCIES IN ***, VA - http://jobf.ly/r/d56760

Reply STOP to optout."
Received Mar 5, 09:51 AM 540xxx6894 (Sean) Running late
Received Mar 5, 09:59 AM 540xxx6894 (Sean) No bike
Received Mar 5, 11:39 AM 703xxx8571 (Jan 1) (1/2) Hello! I'm thinking about going to pole class on Thursday at 10:30. Not sure if you are working yet, but wanted to see if you want to go? Same place. I
Received Mar 5, 11:39 AM 703xxx8571 (Jan 1) (2/2) 'll let you know Wednesday night for sure if I'm going.
Received Mar 5, 04:38 PM 540xxx6894 (Sean) "Me what was for dinner Her salid Me what was luch
Her i didnt have lunck
Me so momma did cook anything no just salid"
Received Mar 5, 04:45 PM 540xxx6894 (Sean) Del del fel
Received Mar 5, 04:51 PM 540xxx6894 (Sean) He was looking at your phone so be careful
Received Mar 5, 05:00 PM 540xxx6894 (Sean) I did. It has to be resized to send. Should be more careful your husbands a tech guy. // ME: Lol?
Received Mar 6, 09:44 AM 41310 "NOW HIRING NEW *** JOBS - *** jobs & employment: search ***

Reply STOP to optout."
Received Mar 6, 02:04 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) Hey there 😀
Received Mar 6, 02:04 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) I was waiting to hear from you before texting 😀
Received Mar 6, 02:06 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) Lol. It has been hard in the morning. Lisa has been sick since Friday and still in bed with a fever
Received Mar 6, 02:06 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) I'm glad you did
Received Mar 6, 02:13 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) I miss you too
Received Mar 6, 02:16 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) I can't wait for you to come meet Max
Received Mar 6, 02:16 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) And of course other things GS
Received Mar 6, 02:17 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) Not sure where the GS came from lol
Received Mar 6, 02:21 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick)
Received Mar 6, 02:43 PM 540xxx8004 (Uncle Patrick) Absolutely not lol.
Received Mar 6, 02:44 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) I think Max would be too young to watch though. I can't wait to get you naked again though
Received Mar 6, 02:47 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Lol
Received Mar 6, 02:47 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Average at best
Received Mar 6, 02:47 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) While you on the other hand are extremely sexy
Received Mar 6, 02:50 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Thank you but I really don't see myself that way.
Received Mar 6, 02:54 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Lmao
Received Mar 6, 02:56 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Too bad we couldn't sneak away for a weekend
Received Mar 6, 03:00 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Lol would you want to?
Received Mar 6, 03:02 PM 540***8004 Uncle (Patrick) I know!
Received Mar 6, 03:04 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) I wish we hadn't but definitely worth the wait
Received Mar 6, 03:06 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) And so are you
Received Mar 6, 03:06 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Oh yeah
Received Mar 6, 03:06 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Absolutely
Received Mar 6, 03:09 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Wish I could tape that
Received Mar 6, 03:16 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) I do have nice images in my head though
Received Mar 6, 03:18 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) That is pretty sexy
Received Mar 6, 03:19 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Wish I was there to feel it
Received Mar 6, 03:23 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) I know. I am so ready too!
Received Mar 6, 03:33 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) I know. Hopefully this week. If she starts to feel better and I don't get sick
Received Mar 6, 03:37 PM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Lol
Received Mar 6, 05:53 PM 540***6894 (Sean) O forgot about that did you just go up there
Received Mar 6, 07:00 PM 540***6894 (Sean) Sweet what time
Received Mar 6, 07:09 PM 703***8571 (Jan 1) That's great! I'll check with you Wednesday night.
Received Mar 6, 07:29 PM 540***6894 (Sean) Ill come check you out
Received Mar 6, 07:44 PM 540***6894 (Sean) Got it
Received Mar 6, 08:32 PM 540***6894 (Sean) No there not at all
Received Mar 7, 08:02 AM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Good morning. We're home sick
Received Mar 7, 08:10 AM 540***8004 (Uncle Patrick) Good luck
Received Mar 7, 10:42 AM 540***1981 (ME) Lol nice
Received Mar 7, 11:04 AM 540***1981 (ME) Lol
Received Mar 7, 11:47 AM 540***6894 (Sean) How's your frist day going
Received Mar 7, 11:49 AM 540***6894 (Sean) We have one more job to do. But ill be over after that
Received Mar 7, 11:49 AM 540***6894 (Sean) How late are you working
Received Mar 7, 01:57 PM 540***6894 (Sean) Boo we should be off soonish
Received Mar 7, 01:57 PM 540***1981 (ME) What time u working until
Received Mar 7, 02:11 PM 9692 "myTFB Banking Alerts
BAL @ 3/7/2017 2:11 PM DIRECT FREE INTEREST CHECKING 1: $*.**

Reply HELP for Help"
Received Mar 7, 02:14 PM 540***6894 (Sean) Off heading that way 20 ish minutes
Received Mar 7, 02:29 PM 540***1981 (ME) Sec I'll call back
Received Mar 7, 06:57 PM 540***5324 (Ronnie) Ok lmk in the am
Received Mar 7, 06:58 PM 540***5324 (Ronnie) Word
Received Mar 7, 10:39 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) ****ING JOY! 8:30?
Received Mar 7, 10:55 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Hahah so I heard, now you can serve me
Received Mar 7, 10:55 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) And yes yes, ya do!!
Received Mar 7, 11:25 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Haha of course I am! And oh is that right ...?
Sent Mar 7, 11:26 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) You're 21 right? Lol.
Sent Mar 7, 11:26 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Is what right? And you're not 21. Lol.
Sent Mar 7, 11:27 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) But I don't mind pretending
Received Mar 8, 07:32 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Thank you thank you! You ready?
Received Mar 8, 07:35 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Just in general, for this stupid case and all
Received Mar 8, 07:42 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Always the goal, i understand what you're saying!
Received Mar 8, 07:42 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Let's hope
Received Mar 8, 07:44 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) You better be.
Received Mar 8, 08:39 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Almost there
Received Mar 8, 08:40 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) I do
Received Mar 8, 08:43 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Same place?
Received Mar 8, 08:43 AM 703***4888 (Nathan) Alright I'm down here
Received Mar 8, 12:19 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) I know I know I want more room with you though
Received Mar 8, 12:20 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Obviously if that's our only option I'll take it
Received Mar 8, 12:22 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) That's what I'm going for
Received Mar 8, 02:47 PM 540***5324 (Ronnie) U wana come in for a lil today
Received Mar 8, 02:49 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Haha, thank you! I'm glad you're happy with what you felt..
Received Mar 8, 02:53 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) All the better..and you know I will
Received Mar 8, 02:57 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) I might even be better at everything else honestly ...
Received Mar 8, 02:58 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Oh no...forgive me if I'm a little quick, if you're THAT good
Received Mar 8, 03:00 PM 540***5324 (Ronnie) Ok
Received Mar 8, 03:14 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Youre incredible
Received Mar 8, 03:15 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) And uhm...YES
Received Mar 8, 03:15 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) What kind of question is that
Received Mar 8, 03:22 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Yes of course
Received Mar 8, 03:22 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Oh my...so sexy
Received Mar 8, 03:25 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) I like that one A LOT
Received Mar 8, 03:26 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Last , what you're wearing
Received Mar 8, 03:26 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) I sure hope so..
Received Mar 8, 03:27 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) You can definitely have me
Received Mar 8, 03:29 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Do I get more or is that my limit for the daub
Received Mar 8, 03:29 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) *day?
Received Mar 8, 03:31 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) If I can have them..
Received Mar 8, 03:33 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Never, nothing pops up on my home screen so it's okay whenever
Received Mar 8, 03:52 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Okay! Fair enough
Received Mar 8, 03:55 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) No way ..
Received Mar 8, 04:01 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) You know that will literally be on you for ONLY 3 seconds if I see it in person
Received Mar 8, 04:14 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) You won't even get to put them
Received Mar 8, 04:20 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Good. You better
Received Mar 8, 04:42 PM 703***4888 (Nathan) Jesus Christ I know...
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 04:54 PM
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Re: Newly married wife cheated with 4 guys in 3 days...

Final Update:
The mods have conferred. Despite the fact that the OP remained engaged in his thread, unlike the other posters I referenced, we believe that he has now gotten the basic advice needed to proceed.

Given that the OP is preternaturally calm, we believe he will make a rational decision to either divorce or agree to a 'very' open marriage.

-----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeOfHorus View Post
Coming back to this, my main concern is the wife. But that is my ****ing uncle. I will probably hit him but he's 6"3 260lbs so itll just be for dramatic purposes. I'm not having my father deal with him or this for me, but he should be informed as to why I am leaving my wife after only 5 months. He should also be aware of how much of a pos my uncle is.

And to even prove the point of my wife being my main concern I spoke to Nathan (from the text logs I edited and provided in my original thread.) But him being so low on my list of concerns, I'm not even super angry with him at this point.
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