01-19-2009, 12:00 AM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Hazzard County, NC
| | More details... After the fact...
So here's the short of it... My wife had an affair and admitted to a sexual relationship back on December 18, 2008. After talking it out for the whole day, I was satisfied that she had told me everything that needed to be said about the affair, up to and including that it was over and that she was very sorry.
since that day, we have gotten along wonderfully. It has been like everything is brand new again. Over the weekend, we moved her mother back into the house and I had issues with it and we got into a spat over it. the day was filled with tension and a lot of screaming and crying.
Late in the evening, I started to get the idea that there were details about this affair that I had not been told, and because of my curiosity, I began to dig for more information. I noticed that on a day when we had a "spat" that she subsequently left for work and called him up in the morning, that in the afternoon, they met at a gas station near his home.
What I was led to believe was a limited (3 to MAYBE 4 times that they had met face to face) turns out that they were meeting on a regular basis over the course of a two-week period. I was at home trying desperately to patch up my marriage while she was running to his arms and pushing me further away at every opportunity.
Now I find out that there were MANY encounters, although she maintains that only one time did it end out in sex. She also related to me that he had been trying to push her back into sex again, but that she didn't do it.
Tonight, I sit here feeling foolish because of all of the time that she spent with her tongue in his mouth while I was here being the butler and taking care of the family.
I love her, and I DO believe that it is over between the two of them. (At the very least, I KNOW that I have him running scared) I believe that this will not happen again... at least not as long as she is happy. My wife recently learned the difference between "Lust" and "Love"... It can be a harsh lesson.
I really am just venting, and I do believe that I know about everything at this point, but there is a part of me that is in fear that there is more that she didn't let me in on. She has admitted to numerous meetings and to having sexual relations with him. When I asked her why she withheld the rest of it until I found out about it, her answer was that she was ashamed, and that she had told me the worst of it, and that she didn't want to hurt me with all of the details.
How can you be reasonably sure if you know everything? (I know that you really can't), but now I can't help but wonder if there is more to this than she is willing to admit to.