Question for you all...when is it ok to start seeing other people. do you have to wait until the divorce is final? does it matter if your just seperated and no chance of reconcilliation. just a question i have been pondering. i have been asked out on dates by a couple of different women who know my situation (which i declined,) but it brought up a good point...when is it ok to start dating again. just to reiterate, no chance of reconcilliation. at least not on my end.
When the divorce is final... and really, you should probably wait several months afterwards before jumping into a new relationship - it takes a while to get over a LT relationship... do you really want to take all that baggage into a new relationship?
promise goofball and i am not neccessarily talking about getting into a fullblown relationship per say, just going out on dates i guess...and i compleltely agree with you lovebug...you gotta deal with your baggage first... like i said, after getting asked out by a couple of different women, it just got me thinking. i imagine there are lots of people out there who say "not until the divorce is final", just wondering why you say that. especialy if the marriage is dead...divorce proceedings can take a while...not knocking your advice or opinion, just asking you to expand upon your reasoning..
There is going out, and then there is being out with someone and enjoying the time out.
Too soon to date, but if you've filed, and she's move to another state, then heck - talking with someone at dinner and drinks isn't unreasonable. No - playtime however until later.(sorry)
morally if you are set on D then whenever you wish (excepting religious morals, check with your religious leader)
emotionally is when you are ready to have a good time with someone to honestly get to know them and realize not to dump your whole marriage history onto them, compare them to your wife, or feel like you just have to be with someone
I personally think dating before a divorce is finalized is bunk cause you're "still married." And not just that but I think it's in poor taste and also just an all around bad decision to go from the freaking arson of a fire to another little fire. What's the point?
I have never and will never understand people who are separated and/or freshly divorced who start dating immediately.
They are so alien to me.
If you feel you are totally done with your marriag eand completely moved on 120% from your wife, then have it. Just don't expect to meet your next great love.
Also, be wary of anyone who'd be into dating you while you're still married... that says a lot about them, I think.
Not that they are evil, but... someone who would wbe willing to do that is willing to deal with the madness of a divorce/separation and all the drama that goes with that... it just... is nuts, IMO.
A date is what you and the other person make it. If you have strict boundaries that prevent you from crossing the line, then dating is not going to be the danger that it would be for another much more vulnerable person.
If you knew that this would be your last day on Earth, would you'd be worrying about your diet?
I personally think dating before a divorce is finalized is bunk cause you're "still married." And not just that but I think it's in poor taste and also just an all around bad decision to go from the freaking arson of a fire to another little fire. What's the point?
There was a little over a year between my DDay #1 and DDay #2. I was ready to walk away during that entire time.
We were separated for over a year when I filed.
She drug her feet with the D papers and required filings. Due to the SLOW courts here and the required delays between filings to giver her the required window to respond to each (motions to compel, motions for contempt, motion for default), the D took well over a year from the date of initial filing until it was final (and we still had to have ONE MORE HEARING to resolve a final issue after the judge had signed the decree - he didn't want to hold it up any longer for that issue).
Not every situation is the same.
I considered myself divorced from the time I filed. Everything else was simply paperwork. I didn't heave a huge sigh of relief once the document was signed by the judge. So much time had passed that it was just a piece of paper.
I met someone while the case was in court. Sure, the still-pending D added a little drama, but I also got to see how she handles difficult situations (and she handled it very well).
When is it Ok to see other people? 
and i am not neccessarily talking about getting into a fullblown relationship per say, just going out on dates i guess...and i compleltely agree with you lovebug...you gotta deal with your baggage first... like i said, after getting asked out by a couple of different women, it just got me thinking. i imagine there are lots of people out there who say "not until the divorce is final", just wondering why you say that. especialy if the marriage is dead...divorce proceedings can take a while...not knocking your advice or opinion, just asking you to expand upon your reasoning..
