Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)
OP, it sounds to me like you might have a bit of an addictive personality, combined with poor impulse control. That would lead you to continually chase "new". If that's the case, though, you will probably have had a history of chasing novelty in all areas of your life. Are you one to take up a new hobby, then tire of it after a few months and move on? Do you need new "toys" or new clothes or new gear of your choice often? Prone to impulse buys? Tire quickly of things that initially interested you greatly? Need to keep upping the stakes in competitive endeavors, or in gambling? If you answer yes to those questions, then it's likely that the women are yet another symptom of your continual need for novelty and your poor ability to control your impulses. You might converse with your therapist about that possibility. There are methods to learn better coping skills that don't involve hurting the people you purport to love.
By the way, the above in no way excuses your cheating on your wife as you have been. Part of being a functional adult is learning to control yourself so that you don't hurt people. If you're not able to control your need for novelty regarding women, then you have no business being married. Know yourself, accept who you are, and be honest enough not to involve innocent people in your issues. Or change yourself so that you're not in danger of hurting those same innocent people. Cheating is a choice you are making. You absolutely have the capacity to choose differently. Either stop it and get control of yourself, or be single and live however you'd like.
You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi
Last edited by Rowan; 03-20-2017 at 11:22 AM.