Well gee, it would have been good to know this from the start. All the nonsense about your teenage years and midlife crises is, well nonsense.
I still think my repressed past has something o do with this
There is really nothing wrong with you except that you are not speaking up to your wife (and well that you have been cheating).
Speaking up to her about what? That she wants to travel and have fun? I would hate myself deeply if she stopped to stay home with me to keep me company. I just have to learn to keep it in my pants when she is not around.
See you wife is not meeting your important emotional needs. There is no way she can ben since the two of you are not spending enough time together. So you have been filling that void with other women. A huge percentage of the population would do the same thing. It starts out platonic/emotional and eventually turns physical/sexual.
True true true...very slippery slope once started. It starts more intensely when she is away, and typically I was able to contain it until she comes back, but lately it just overflowed and I kept flirting with women during the day even when my wife if back home.
On the other hand, if she was always with me, I would go crazy! I mean I also need to see other people and she needs that too. This is marriage counseling stuff, because I now recognize that I dont have a good connection with her when it comes to certain mundane things, like movies to see, places to see, activities to do.
You encourage your wife to spend her time away from you? Sure some of that is ok. But a lot of time apart, months at a time will destroy your marriage.
There is a book that might help you: "His Needs, Her Needs". In the book, the author says that a couple needs to spend at least 15 hours a week together, just the two of them in quality time. This is to maintain the passion in their marriage. Since you have so much free time, the two of you could be spending a lot more than that together.
I have free time, she does not. She is a teacher
and yes...basically leaves the whole summer. in 2017 she went 2 weekends to visit some friends, 1 weekend to do a march in Boston, 1 week to florida to see her mom then extended it to 2 weeks. So lets see...so far out of 100 days she has been gone for about 30, and the rest of them she works. Gee I didnt realize that! Hmmmm interesting.
Do you two have any hobbies that you do together?
Almost nothing! lol seriously! We like food (not a hobby). Crap now I'm discovering all this! We seriously dont do much together...forget the 15 hours weekly in that book lol. Hmmmmm so many thoughts...at least I'm not crying tonight LOL