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post #121 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:14 PM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Lol I can give you a very detailed version of what I do...wanna go for it?
Sure

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post #122 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Sure
Ok give me 15-20 min to write this in details so you will see what kind of creep am I..really, I'm pathetic. You can read it tomorrow too its late.
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post #123 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Sure
Ok I will tell you about my last one. Nicole from the mall. Nicole is a very cute brunette about 5'5" and works alone in a kiosk trying to sell windows (go figure).

I usually pick settings like the mall because women are relaxed there and many are bored so talking to them is super easy. Other settings are more difficult.
The purpose of me talking to her is: make her day! Make her feel good about herself, laugh about me or life in general, uplift her soul, entertain her. Lets go for it and see if I succeed.
I observed her before many times and noticed that she has to approach people and sign them up to receive free info about windows and doors. I wanna interrupt that pattern which is boring to her so as my opener, I chose to approach her and try to sell something to her. Let's see if she goes for it. Its a game I play: I like to interrupt a persons pattern so that they will open to me once their mind is at ease.

The approach:
I never approach a girl directly, always from the side and never from behind. Nicole is standing in front of her kiosk fidgeting with her paperwork. So I pretend I'm just walking by and I see her catching me in the corner of her eye, but because I'm walking fast she doesnt approach me. Instead, once I pass the kiosk I turn my head like I noticed something I liked at her kiosk, and without looking at her directly (too soon too fast) I pretend I'm interested in one of her brochures. I stop, go 2 steps back, never looking at her (crucial) ,a while looking at the brochure I use my opener: "Are you selling windows at a mall???" I pretend like I'm surprised and this subconsciously trigger a much bigger response in somebody instead of if I just asked "I see you are selling windows." The answer to that is typically "Yep". But if you act surprised, Nicole HAS to explain, and that gets her talking for a while(bingo!).

The opener:
Now she is talking and I'm still not facing her (too soon too fast) but I position myself next to her both looking at her brochure. I use this technique of focusing attention of an external object and talking about it which conveys the image of "we are doing something together". Its a subconscious suggestion about the "we".

Her - yes see we have a lot of different models we install in homes, do you have a home?
Me - yes of course I own several...
She lights up because she might make a sale...and by saying that I convey the fact that I'm not just a general joe schmoe.
Me - but right now I'm not really looking to replace windows
I tell her that because I dont want her to be too excited about the sale but about the conversation.
Me - What I really do is that I'm a "pen sales man" on break, and I'm not supposed to stop here and chat with cute girls because my boss might see me"
I'm deliberately being funny so that she can relax and think of me more as a fun guy than a customer. I take my pen out of my pocket and show it to her: See, I'm not BSing you! I say.
She laughs because she knows I'm joking but she loves the joke and the fact I'm being an ass.
Her - (laughing) I know you dont sell pens for a living, so what do you really do?
Ok this is called an IOI Indicator of interest. You get 3 of these, she officially likes you. So I got one.
Me - (I take advantage of her question and will infer I'm a safe and secure men without saying it...watch me) I used to be inreal estate and own apartment buildings, but I sold it all and now I develop software and invest money in internet companies. Its less hassle and leaves me free time."
By saying that I inferred a lot of stuff, but mainly what I said was "I'm a secure and accomplished man". She likes it and we start to create....

...Rapport.
She turns her body towards mine and slowly, very slowly I start turning mine towards hers. When 2 people are close by 2-3 ft apart in public and talking to each other and they are facing each other, it suggest intimacy. I also notice she is shy and has a hard time maintaining my eye contact. This is dangerous: if I look into her gorgeous brown eyes for too long, she might get uncomfortable and raise a wall. I want to maintain this position of facing her (very intimate) but I dont wanna lose her in her own insecurities, so I pull back.
I take 2 steps back so that my arm cannot reach her (safety distance) and Immediately see my move working, because she looks at me like she want to say "hey where are you going" and pull me back at her, and her body slightly shifts towards me. Bingo! she doesnt want me to go, and I have pulled her in again. Awesome. I then take ONE step forward. It's almost like a dance ecept she has no idea what's going on. I'm doing all the leading, physically and psychologically.

her - wow you look like you do have a lot on your plate, maybe I should find a job like yours and have more free time
Me - yeah that would be awesome. How many huors do you work here?
her - only 4 a day...
me - 4 daily, thats not too much, good pay at least...
And I pause here and I bend down a little to look at her badge so I can call her with her name.
me - ...Nicole is it?
Her - yes its Nicole.
Now I got her at her name so I have the opportunity to make her feel good. I take my hand like to shake hers and say
Me - that a beautiful name, Nice to meet you I'm Marc.
And she gives me her hand. While shaking it lightly but firmly, I only do it for 1 second and then before I let go I slightly turn her hand with mine on a side so that I can see her nails and while still holding her I look at it and say:
Me - you have beautiful nails.
Her - she laughs "thank you" and I let her go.
I established rapport,emotional and physical. She blushed a little when I was holding her hand and commented on her nails and I cannot stop from wondering if she has been touched gently like that lately, and if she craves it. Perhaps yes. I do know she liked it because she didnt retreat her hand from mine even when I wasnt squeezing too much.
She turns slightly and with a gesture of her other hand she flicks some hair off her shoulder to her back and jers her head in the process: IOI #2. This gesture is a universal thing that girls do when a guy they like is close by. Awsome!

Evolution
Now we just talk about anything and everything, I have many techniques I use like "cherry picking" to get the conversation going. Maine thing is to keep it light and fun and make eye contact as much as I can.
Depending on how comfortable she is I might make some contact with her shoulder and say stuff like "come on..." and push her slightly on er shoulder like to make her lose balance. I observe er reaction very closely, each inch or movement coming from her body is 100% important to me: its her language telling me, stay I like this, go away I'm tired or you are boring me. While talking about BS I also observe her feet: they tell you where she feels comfortable. If she turns her feet away from you you are boring her and she wants out. feet toward you, you are still in and keep talking.

And so on and so on. It can go anywhere from there, phone number sometimes.
Then I have my closer and goodbye with "anchor". I might tell you about it some other time.

Is this horrible? Am I a monster...I dunno.
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post #124 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:22 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
Ok I will tell you about my last one. Nicole from the mall. Nicole is a very cute brunette about 5'5" and works alone in a kiosk trying to sell windows (go figure).

I usually pick settings like the mall because women are relaxed there and many are bored so talking to them is super easy. Other settings are more difficult.
The purpose of me talking to her is: make her day! Make her feel good about herself, laugh about me or life in general, uplift her soul, entertain her. Lets go for it and see if I succeed.
I observed her before many times and noticed that she has to approach people and sign them up to receive free info about windows and doors. I wanna interrupt that pattern which is boring to her so as my opener, I chose to approach her and try to sell something to her. Let's see if she goes for it. Its a game I play: I like to interrupt a persons pattern so that they will open to me once their mind is at ease.

The approach:
I never approach a girl directly, always from the side and never from behind. Nicole is standing in front of her kiosk fidgeting with her paperwork. So I pretend I'm just walking by and I see her catching me in the corner of her eye, but because I'm walking fast she doesnt approach me. Instead, once I pass the kiosk I turn my head like I noticed something I liked at her kiosk, and without looking at her directly (too soon too fast) I pretend I'm interested in one of her brochures. I stop, go 2 steps back, never looking at her (crucial) ,a while looking at the brochure I use my opener: "Are you selling windows at a mall???" I pretend like I'm surprised and this subconsciously trigger a much bigger response in somebody instead of if I just asked "I see you are selling windows." The answer to that is typically "Yep". But if you act surprised, Nicole HAS to explain, and that gets her talking for a while(bingo!).

The opener:
Now she is talking and I'm still not facing her (too soon too fast) but I position myself next to her both looking at her brochure. I use this technique of focusing attention of an external object and talking about it which conveys the image of "we are doing something together". Its a subconscious suggestion about the "we".

Her - yes see we have a lot of different models we install in homes, do you have a home?
Me - yes of course I own several...
She lights up because she might make a sale...and by saying that I convey the fact that I'm not just a general joe schmoe.
Me - but right now I'm not really looking to replace windows
I tell her that because I dont want her to be too excited about the sale but about the conversation.
Me - What I really do is that I'm a "pen sales man" on break, and I'm not supposed to stop here and chat with cute girls because my boss might see me"
I'm deliberately being funny so that she can relax and think of me more as a fun guy than a customer. I take my pen out of my pocket and show it to her: See, I'm not BSing you! I say.
She laughs because she knows I'm joking but she loves the joke and the fact I'm being an ass.
Her - (laughing) I know you dont sell pens for a living, so what do you really do?
Ok this is called an IOI Indicator of interest. You get 3 of these, she officially likes you. So I got one.
Me - (I take advantage of her question and will infer I'm a safe and secure men without saying it...watch me) I used to be inreal estate and own apartment buildings, but I sold it all and now I develop software and invest money in internet companies. Its less hassle and leaves me free time."
By saying that I inferred a lot of stuff, but mainly what I said was "I'm a secure and accomplished man". She likes it and we start to create....

...Rapport.
She turns her body towards mine and slowly, very slowly I start turning mine towards hers. When 2 people are close by 2-3 ft apart in public and talking to each other and they are facing each other, it suggest intimacy. I also notice she is shy and has a hard time maintaining my eye contact. This is dangerous: if I look into her gorgeous brown eyes for too long, she might get uncomfortable and raise a wall. I want to maintain this position of facing her (very intimate) but I dont wanna lose her in her own insecurities, so I pull back.
I take 2 steps back so that my arm cannot reach her (safety distance) and Immediately see my move working, because she looks at me like she want to say "hey where are you going" and pull me back at her, and her body slightly shifts towards me. Bingo! she doesnt want me to go, and I have pulled her in again. Awesome. I then take ONE step forward. It's almost like a dance ecept she has no idea what's going on. I'm doing all the leading, physically and psychologically.

her - wow you look like you do have a lot on your plate, maybe I should find a job like yours and have more free time
Me - yeah that would be awesome. How many huors do you work here?
her - only 4 a day...
me - 4 daily, thats not too much, good pay at least...
And I pause here and I bend down a little to look at her badge so I can call her with her name.
me - ...Nicole is it?
Her - yes its Nicole.
Now I got her at her name so I have the opportunity to make her feel good. I take my hand like to shake hers and say
Me - that a beautiful name, Nice to meet you I'm Marc.
And she gives me her hand. While shaking it lightly but firmly, I only do it for 1 second and then before I let go I slightly turn her hand with mine on a side so that I can see her nails and while still holding her I look at it and say:
Me - you have beautiful nails.
Her - she laughs "thank you" and I let her go.
I established rapport,emotional and physical. She blushed a little when I was holding her hand and commented on her nails and I cannot stop from wondering if she has been touched gently like that lately, and if she craves it. Perhaps yes. I do know she liked it because she didnt retreat her hand from mine even when I wasnt squeezing too much.
She turns slightly and with a gesture of her other hand she flicks some hair off her shoulder to her back and jers her head in the process: IOI #2. This gesture is a universal thing that girls do when a guy they like is close by. Awsome!

Evolution
Now we just talk about anything and everything, I have many techniques I use like "cherry picking" to get the conversation going. Maine thing is to keep it light and fun and make eye contact as much as I can.
Depending on how comfortable she is I might make some contact with her shoulder and say stuff like "come on..." and push her slightly on er shoulder like to make her lose balance. I observe er reaction very closely, each inch or movement coming from her body is 100% important to me: its her language telling me, stay I like this, go away I'm tired or you are boring me. While talking about BS I also observe her feet: they tell you where she feels comfortable. If she turns her feet away from you you are boring her and she wants out. feet toward you, you are still in and keep talking.

And so on and so on. It can go anywhere from there, phone number sometimes.
Then I have my closer and goodbye with "anchor". I might tell you about it some other time.

Is this horrible? Am I a monster...I dunno.
Do you have your wedding ring on when you met them?

Basically you are leading these women on for you own ego. You are at great risk of loosing the woman who you say you love.
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post #125 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Do you have your wedding ring on when you met them?

Basically you are leading these women on for you own ego. You are at great risk of loosing the woman who you say you love.
Yes I have my ring. Always. Yeah I know, thats why I wanna stop. Women love it, I love it...it can only lead to disaster. Nvertheless...this is how it goes. EleGirl asked me to be specific, so there it is.
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post #126 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:27 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
Ok I will tell you about my last one. Nicole from the mall. Nicole is a very cute brunette about 5'5" and works alone in a kiosk trying to sell windows (go figure).

I usually pick settings like the mall because women are relaxed there and many are bored so talking to them is super easy. Other settings are more difficult.
The purpose of me talking to her is: make her day! Make her feel good about herself, laugh about me or life in general, uplift her soul, entertain her. Lets go for it and see if I succeed.
I observed her before many times and noticed that she has to approach people and sign them up to receive free info about windows and doors. I wanna interrupt that pattern which is boring to her so as my opener, I chose to approach her and try to sell something to her. Let's see if she goes for it. Its a game I play: I like to interrupt a persons pattern so that they will open to me once their mind is at ease.

The approach:
I never approach a girl directly, always from the side and never from behind. Nicole is standing in front of her kiosk fidgeting with her paperwork. So I pretend I'm just walking by and I see her catching me in the corner of her eye, but because I'm walking fast she doesnt approach me. Instead, once I pass the kiosk I turn my head like I noticed something I liked at her kiosk, and without looking at her directly (too soon too fast) I pretend I'm interested in one of her brochures. I stop, go 2 steps back, never looking at her (crucial) ,a while looking at the brochure I use my opener: "Are you selling windows at a mall???" I pretend like I'm surprised and this subconsciously trigger a much bigger response in somebody instead of if I just asked "I see you are selling windows." The answer to that is typically "Yep". But if you act surprised, Nicole HAS to explain, and that gets her talking for a while(bingo!).

The opener:
Now she is talking and I'm still not facing her (too soon too fast) but I position myself next to her both looking at her brochure. I use this technique of focusing attention of an external object and talking about it which conveys the image of "we are doing something together". Its a subconscious suggestion about the "we".

Her - yes see we have a lot of different models we install in homes, do you have a home?
Me - yes of course I own several...
She lights up because she might make a sale...and by saying that I convey the fact that I'm not just a general joe schmoe.
Me - but right now I'm not really looking to replace windows
I tell her that because I dont want her to be too excited about the sale but about the conversation.
Me - What I really do is that I'm a "pen sales man" on break, and I'm not supposed to stop here and chat with cute girls because my boss might see me"
I'm deliberately being funny so that she can relax and think of me more as a fun guy than a customer. I take my pen out of my pocket and show it to her: See, I'm not BSing you! I say.
She laughs because she knows I'm joking but she loves the joke and the fact I'm being an ass.
Her - (laughing) I know you dont sell pens for a living, so what do you really do?
Ok this is called an IOI Indicator of interest. You get 3 of these, she officially likes you. So I got one.
Me - (I take advantage of her question and will infer I'm a safe and secure men without saying it...watch me) I used to be inreal estate and own apartment buildings, but I sold it all and now I develop software and invest money in internet companies. Its less hassle and leaves me free time."
By saying that I inferred a lot of stuff, but mainly what I said was "I'm a secure and accomplished man". She likes it and we start to create....

...Rapport.
She turns her body towards mine and slowly, very slowly I start turning mine towards hers. When 2 people are close by 2-3 ft apart in public and talking to each other and they are facing each other, it suggest intimacy. I also notice she is shy and has a hard time maintaining my eye contact. This is dangerous: if I look into her gorgeous brown eyes for too long, she might get uncomfortable and raise a wall. I want to maintain this position of facing her (very intimate) but I dont wanna lose her in her own insecurities, so I pull back.
I take 2 steps back so that my arm cannot reach her (safety distance) and Immediately see my move working, because she looks at me like she want to say "hey where are you going" and pull me back at her, and her body slightly shifts towards me. Bingo! she doesnt want me to go, and I have pulled her in again. Awesome. I then take ONE step forward. It's almost like a dance ecept she has no idea what's going on. I'm doing all the leading, physically and psychologically.

her - wow you look like you do have a lot on your plate, maybe I should find a job like yours and have more free time
Me - yeah that would be awesome. How many huors do you work here?
her - only 4 a day...
me - 4 daily, thats not too much, good pay at least...
And I pause here and I bend down a little to look at her badge so I can call her with her name.
me - ...Nicole is it?
Her - yes its Nicole.
Now I got her at her name so I have the opportunity to make her feel good. I take my hand like to shake hers and say
Me - that a beautiful name, Nice to meet you I'm Marc.
And she gives me her hand. While shaking it lightly but firmly, I only do it for 1 second and then before I let go I slightly turn her hand with mine on a side so that I can see her nails and while still holding her I look at it and say:
Me - you have beautiful nails.
Her - she laughs "thank you" and I let her go.
I established rapport,emotional and physical. She blushed a little when I was holding her hand and commented on her nails and I cannot stop from wondering if she has been touched gently like that lately, and if she craves it. Perhaps yes. I do know she liked it because she didnt retreat her hand from mine even when I wasnt squeezing too much.
She turns slightly and with a gesture of her other hand she flicks some hair off her shoulder to her back and jers her head in the process: IOI #2. This gesture is a universal thing that girls do when a guy they like is close by. Awsome!

Evolution
Now we just talk about anything and everything, I have many techniques I use like "cherry picking" to get the conversation going. Maine thing is to keep it light and fun and make eye contact as much as I can.
Depending on how comfortable she is I might make some contact with her shoulder and say stuff like "come on..." and push her slightly on er shoulder like to make her lose balance. I observe er reaction very closely, each inch or movement coming from her body is 100% important to me: its her language telling me, stay I like this, go away I'm tired or you are boring me. While talking about BS I also observe her feet: they tell you where she feels comfortable. If she turns her feet away from you you are boring her and she wants out. feet toward you, you are still in and keep talking.

And so on and so on. It can go anywhere from there, phone number sometimes.
Then I have my closer and goodbye with "anchor". I might tell you about it some other time.

Is this horrible? Am I a monster...I dunno.
You are a con man.

If you actually do pay that much attention to each movement of hers, etc, you are simply a con man working a mark. Your con it to get her to play into your self-admiration game.
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post #127 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
You are a con man.

If you actually do pay that much attention to each movement of hers, etc, you are simply a con man working a mark. Your con it to get her to play into your self-admiration game.
A con man is somebody that cheats a mark out of his/her money by manipulating the reality. But really I dont have a precise agenda when I do this. Often times, I dont really want anything except being social and observe. Many times I dont want their phone number at all. To call, text? And then what? Its more of a fun pointless game.
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post #128 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:31 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Yes I have my ring. Always. Yeah I know, thats why I wanna stop. Women love it, I love it...it can only lead to disaster. Nvertheless...this is how it goes. EleGirl asked me to be specific, so there it is.
I'd love to talk to these women you hit on like this. My bet is that while they have a bit of fun with the flirting, that they can see right through you and are not all that impressed.

I've had guys approach me the way you spell this out. It feels contrived and self centered. A few minutes of it can be fun. But it's clear what it is. Some guy who thinks he's really cool and working his own ego.

Sure there are some naive women who will fall for a script like this. But they tend to be young women who are still learning about what's out there in the world.
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post #129 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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I'd love to talk to these women you hit on like this. My bet is that while they have a bit of fun with the flirting, that they can see right through you and are not all that impressed.

I've had guys approach me the way you spell this out. It feels contrived and self centered. A few minutes of it can be fun. But it's clear what it is. Some guy who thinks he's really cool and working his own ego.

Sure there are some naive women who will fall for a script like this. But they tend to be young women who are still learning about what's out there in the world.
Yes super true. In fact if I see a woman sees through the game, I go away. She will not not enjoy it at all. However I have talked like this to women of all ages some in their 60s, and they liked it. Or maybe they were just lonely, I dont know.
What I know is that when I leave I know they enjoyed it, and thats all it counts. Yes its a 101% ego thing for me.
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post #130 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:37 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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A con man is somebody that cheats a mark out of his/her money by manipulating the reality. But really I dont have a precise agenda when I do this. Often times, I dont really want anything except being social and observe. Many times I dont want their phone number at all. To call, text? And then what? Its more of a fun pointless game.
A con can be for any purpose. The idea is to get what you want out of the con. What you want to show off that you are an accomplished man with lots of money (own several houses) and you want the admiration of the younger women. Not all payoff are in money. You are cheating her because it's not sincere. It's game you play. At this point, if that's the extent of it, she's not losing much except a few minutes of her time.

But then you said that you take some of them out to dinner, etc. So you are taking up more of their time to get your self-admiration kick.

When you take some of these women out to dinner, or shopping, do you pick them up at their home, drive them to dinner/shopping and then drop them back at their place? Or do they all drive their own vehicles to meet you and leave on their own?

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post #131 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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When you take some of these women out to dinner, or shopping, do you pick them up at their home, drive them to dinner/shopping and then drop them back at their place? Or do they all drive their own vehicles to meet you and leave on their own?
They always drive themselves to the location We meet there. I never pick up any women let alone take them in my car. They will never agree to that, they dont know me. And I dont really want to do that.

One lady texted me 5 minutes before meeting with me at a mall "are you sure you are not a serial killer???" lol I didnt text back.

I know I know...EleGirl...this is horrible! See the trap I'm in? I'm not a bad guy I swear I'm just flying on this ego trip and cant seem to be able to stop it.
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post #132 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:46 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Yes super true. In fact if I see a woman sees through the game, I go away. She will not not enjoy it at all. However I have talked like this to women of all ages some in their 60s, and they liked it. Or maybe they were just lonely, I dont know.

What I know is that when I leave I know they enjoyed it, and thats all it counts. Yes its a 101% ego thing for me.
They probably would have just enjoyed a talk with anyone who was pleasant. I talk to a lot of people when I am out in shopping, etc. I enjoy the social interaction. It certainly does not require either of us size up each other's every move, that we have a script, it's just natural.

You are bored. You are lonely. You have won the jackpot and now don't know what to do with yourself.

You know what you need? Some hobbies that do not entail you conning people like that. Do something like take up scuba diving, it will occupy your mind to learn something new. Maybe your wife could join you. I have some friends who did this years ago. Since then they have taken a few vacations a year together to scuba dive all over the world. They have bought expensive cameras and have the most amazing videos to show when they return.

OR go out and find a cause that helps people. Someone mentioned teaching literacy, or English as a second language. Start a non-profit that uses your talents to help people in need.

Use that energy for something constructive. You want to get real admiration? Do something useful with your time instead of coning window sales girls.
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post #133 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:49 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
They always drive themselves to the location We meet there. I never pick up any women let alone take them in my car. They will never agree to that, they dont know me. And I dont really want to do that.

One lady texted me 5 minutes before meeting with me at a mall "are you sure you are not a serial killer???" lol I didnt text back.

I know I know...EleGirl...this is horrible! See the trap I'm in? I'm not a bad guy I swear I'm just flying on this ego trip and cant seem to be able to stop it.
So find something constructive to do to get your ego fix.

I would be bored senseless if had not nothing really to do and no one around me to spend time with most of the time.
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post #134 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:50 AM Thread Starter
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
They probably would have just enjoyed a talk with anyone who was pleasant. I talk to a lot of people when I am out in shopping, etc. I enjoy the social interaction. It certainly does not require either of us size up each other's every move, that we have a script, it's just natural.

You are bored. You are lonely. You have won the jackpot and now don't know what to do with yourself.

You know what you need? Some hobbies that do not entail you conning people like that. Do something like take up scuba diving, it will occupy your mind to learn something new. Maybe your wife could join you. I have some friends who did this years ago. Since then they have taken a few vacations a year together to scuba dive all over the world. They have bought expensive cameras and have the most amazing videos to show when they return.

OR go out and find a cause that helps people. Someone mentioned teaching literacy, or English as a second language. Start a non-profit that uses your talents to help people in need.

Use that energy for something constructive. You want to get real admiration? Do something useful with your time instead of coning window sales girls.
Working on this plan too, have a couple of ideas. Will post them here if they turn up to anything. I have to find something to do with my wife. That would be great...she is just so difficult sometimes, she seems not to like anything. She says often: "I will come with you, and you can do XYZ and I will just read a book." Well thats not real interaction lol
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post #135 of 279 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:55 AM
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Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)

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Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
Working on this plan too, have a couple of ideas. Will post them here if they turn up to anything. I have to find something to do with my wife. That would be great...she is just so difficult sometimes, she seems not to like anything. She says often: "I will come with you, and you can do XYZ and I will just read a book." Well thats not real interaction lol
Share your ideas even now. Why not? Better to talk about a new direction than this old stuff that you want to stop doing.

I think you need to tell your wife that you need to do something with her, you need to connect with her more. And one of the best ways to do it is for you two to have a hobby that you learn together and do together.

If you like the idea of scuba diving, tell her about it. If you like the idea of dancing, tell her.

Shoot dancing would be a blast (if you like dancing) because there are dance conventions and completions all over the country and world. So you two could mix travel with that.

Ask her what she would like to do with you and don't let her say nothing. Do not accept that.
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