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post #136 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 05:00 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

Have the two of you discussed divorce at all recently? Would the two of you be able to run the business successfully still together in the business yet divorce. I have a couple of business acquaintance's that have family businesses that have managed to divorce yet still work together and keep the business thriving.

When you started this business you already had known about her affair. Why didn't you consider some sort of post nup agreement before bringing her into the business?


Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday
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post #137 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 05:44 PM
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BS with long time update

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Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post

How was your R?


My wife never cheated.
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post #138 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 05:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Do you think if somehow you could be convinced she told you everything 14 yrs ago or even now would that have changed anything? Your sex life has never wavered? On sex alone you would say things are fine to great?
I was convinced 15 years ago in MC. No not now it's more than the truth you need. What was given away does too much damage to make things good again.
Nope sex life never wavered. But past abuse, I believe keep it from being what it could have been.
I would say things are fine. Never great.
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post #139 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Have the two of you discussed divorce at all recently? Would the two of you be able to run the business successfully still together in the business yet divorce. I have a couple of business acquaintance's that have family businesses that have managed to divorce yet still work together and keep the business thriving.

When you started this business you already had known about her affair. Why didn't you consider some sort of post nup agreement before bringing her into the business?
Yes we have discussed it about 8 months ago.
Well I went into it as primary majority owner. It's in my name. I run business side and she programs. Without either one of us a large income evaporates.
At this time in my life it would very hard to loose but doable. One thing I've learned is having money does not equate to happiness.
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post #140 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 06:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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My wife never cheated.
Man what I would do for that. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been best to never have known about any of it.
But that's frivolous, it's not my reality.
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post #141 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 06:05 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

Why is it that money is so important to you? And why can't a business survive a divorce? You seem content not happy and it's your life and we only get one don't you think you deserve better.
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post #142 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 06:16 PM
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BS with long time update

.

Last edited by 225985; 03-25-2017 at 07:12 AM.
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post #143 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 06:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Why is it that money is so important to you? And why can't a business survive a divorce? You seem content not happy and it's your life and we only get one don't you think you deserve better.
Money is important to most everyone. I think it more of a lifestyle change at my age. Wealth is a complex problem. It would be one hellava hit.
My business could not survive a divorce.
I am content and happy most times, but there always darkness in the background I guess. Yes I deserve better.
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post #144 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 06:28 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

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I know the stats on single mothers raising kids and I didn't want to expose them to other sexual partners that might come by. That would be worse
I made the same calculation when my daughters were pre-school age. Ironically, xw probably would never have had another man in the house with the girls due to her CSA. Other women I know irl who are CSA victims similarly won't have a man in the house with their minor children. Had I known of her CSA, I would have made many different choices over the years.
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post #145 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

Stillsearching,

One approach to the polygraph is to first have your WW write out a detailed timeline for her affairs, and for you to write out an exhaustive list of questions she can then write in the answers to. The writing avoids having to answer face to face.

The polygraph operator then asks if she answered the questions and wrote out the timeline truthfully.

You might also find out about other sexual incidents.

Did you ever confront the OM or expose them, it's never too late, what were the consequences for her OM? The thing about these OM is that they knew full well about your children and were attacking your family.

Did your WW ever apologize to the wives or gfs of the people she cheated with.

I'm waiting for my youngest to graduate college, it's been 20+ years.

Tamat

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post #146 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 07:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Stillsearching,

One approach to the polygraph is to first have your WW write out a detailed timeline for her affairs, and for you to write out an exhaustive list of questions she can then write in the answers to. The writing avoids having to answer face to face.

The polygraph operator then asks if she answered the questions and wrote out the timeline truthfully.

You might also find out about other sexual incidents.

Did you ever confront the OM or expose them, it's never too late, what were the consequences for her OM? The thing about these OM is that they knew full well about your children and were attacking your family.

Did your WW ever apologize to the wives or gfs of the people she cheated with.

I confronted the OM.
They were no wives involved.
Dude to bring up a poly at this time is a huge fight and instadivorce

I'm waiting for my youngest to graduate college, it's been 20+ years.

Tamat
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post #147 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 01:32 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

One more thing that has not been said OP. With her mindset there is no guarantee that you or your money is safe. She may just find some other guy and decide he is her soulmate, and destroy your business outright. God knows there are stories where the WW does this all the time. They just completely go off the reservation. People like her do that kind of unpredictable stuff and she has never shown you any loyalty.

Lets imagine since it's in her nature her next affair partner is divorced, has some money, and lives in some nice sunny place 200 miles away. One day she tells you she isn't happy, she loves you but is not in love with you and up and moves there a week or two later. What happens to your business then? No buy out, no amicable separation. No StillSearching running the process and having agency in his own life. Nope just once again you getting screwed over and having all the same emotions stirred up again from 15 years ago. Stuck there feeling like a sucker. I would say the chances of that happening are pretty good. Hell she may even try to get the most money out of you as possible. You have no idea what she is capable of.

You are like the guy living in the house with the pet tiger. Sooner or later it's going to eat you. Your fear and passivity is going to end up biting you in the ass again. Better to finally start taking an active role in your life and happiness. You can't blame anyone for you not taking command of your own life. If you don't do for yourself, life and people will do things to you.

I would be more afraid that I wasn't safe with her then I wasn't without her.
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post #148 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 08:02 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

SoKillMe
I could not have said it better. She is not a wife, and he has proven that he can be thrown over at a moment's notice. At the end of the day, some dude will wave his d**k in her face and she will blow up StillSearching's world and finances.
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post #149 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

What kind of programming does your WW do?

Is it something that you could hire someone else to do?
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post #150 of 264 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 09:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

Wow you guys have really opened my eyes up today. Maybe the real reason I came here was to hear these things. I knew if I came back here gave it a shot deep down I might get more wisdom than I could give.....
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