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post #226 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:09 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
She turned the hotel hooker up to 10 on me last night.
I didn't fall for it.
She was naked in my bed and all of it.
I can't tell weather shes mentally ill or completely evil.

She also told me she booked the hotel Monday to meet a man to have sex "To see if there is anything wrong with me."-she said.
WTF ..... of course there is!
ouch. I can only imagine the numbers of affairs she has had and ONS.

Divorce, bail and expose

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post #227 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:14 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

She is disordered. Period.

When sex does not work, which is clearly her "go-to", it will eventually start to produce anger. Anger in the disordered, and especially the charming disordered (which clearly your wife is capable), you are in danger. That is when false DV allegations or other craziness emerges.

You cannot get away from this woman fast enough.

@Uptown, please talk some sense into this gentleman.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #228 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:18 AM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
She is disordered. Period.

When sex does not work, which is clearly her "go-to", it will eventually start to produce anger. Anger in the disordered, and especially the charming disordered (which clearly your wife is capable), you are in danger. That is when false DV allegations or other craziness emerges.

You cannot get away from this woman fast enough.

@Uptown, please talk some sense into this gentleman.
I'm Gettin' I'm Gettin' away!
Fast as I can.
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post #229 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:29 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

WOW. I am SO SORRY. Ugh, she is a real piece of work. Can you kick her out?

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-c...ionships-fiff/
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post #230 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

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Originally Posted by wmn1 View Post
ouch. I can only imagine the numbers of affairs she has had and ONS.

Divorce, bail and expose
My lawyer wants to go after the doctor that she was going to meet on Monday after this is over.
I live in a state which you can do that.
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post #231 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:56 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

She may be setting you up. Regurgitating all the prior affairs to lessen the impact of the Dr's interference in your marriage. He being coached by she may claim you knew all along and accepted it. Hence her trying to have sex with you now. If you have sex with her that may remove any claim that you have that the Dr. interfered in your marriage. Don't fall for her honey trap. Might be a good idea to keep a VAR on when she engages you.

My two cents, lawyer up fast and get away from her before she goes super nova..
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post #232 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 10:06 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

I agree totally with your lawyer, there may be a significant amount of damages that could be assessed against the doctor. Usually, the thought is to expose the affair to the OM's wife, but in this case, I'd play my cards very close to the chest. Your wife? NO COMMENT, save and except, you are going to have such a nice life without this (add expletive here) as part of your life. One hopes that your lawyer will clean her clock.
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post #233 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:31 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

@StillSearching

She is a horrible woman and she is not mentally stable, now you only think about yourself, scorch the damn earth, protect yourself, be a mean badass and take her down, she deserves it and run for the hills as fast as you can
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post #234 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:49 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
She turned the hotel hooker up to 10 on me last night.
I didn't fall for it.
She was naked in my bed and all of it.
I can't tell weather shes mentally ill or completely evil.

She also told me she booked the hotel Monday to meet a man to have sex "To see if there is anything wrong with me."-she said.
WTF ..... of course there is!
She's evilly mentally ill.
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post #235 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 04:52 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

@farsidejunky, thanks for the call out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
Uptown, please talk some sense into this gentleman.
You and the other respondents have already accomplished that. Congratulations, Farside! In Searching's response to you, he states, "I'm Gettin' I'm Gettin' away! Fast as I can."

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
I can't tell weather shes mentally ill or completely evil.
Between those two choices, Searching, my guess would be "mentally ill." Of course, only a professional can determine whether her behavioral symptoms are so severe and persistent as to constitute a full-blown disorder. I nonetheless can tell you that the symptoms you describe -- i.e., the serial cheating, years of lying, and neediness -- are warning signs for Bipolar-1 Disorder, Histrionic PD and Narcissistic PD.

Quote:
She has been diagnosed by a Dr. Bi-polar and depression. But she never told the guy about affairs or extent of sexual abuse. I'm sure there's more going on.
The vast majority of people suffering from a "clinical disorder" such as Bipolar or Depression -- or from a PD such as Narcissism PD or Borderline PD (BPD) -- also suffer from at least one other disorder as well. You thus are wise to suspect "there's more going on" than the diagnosis of Bipolar. With females exhibiting full-blown Bipolar-1 in the past year, for example, 47% of them also exhibit a lifetime incidence of full-blown BPD.

Quote:
Her abuse has made it so she can't really be infatuated or show outward love to me.
Do you believe that she really does love you? I ask because, if she exhibits strong narcissistic symptoms, she is incapable of loving anyone. In contrast, Histrionics, BPDers, and Bipolar sufferers are capable of loving intensely (albeit not consistently showing it).

Quote:
Nope sex life never wavered.... I would say things are fine. Never great.
Are you saying that she has been emotionally stable over the past 24 years? If things are "fine" and your sex life "never wavered," you seem to believe your W is a stable woman. I ask because, whereas Narcissists typically are stable emotionally, the BPDers and Bipolar sufferers are emotionally unstable (BPDers flip between adoring you and devaluing you but Bipolar sufferers swing between mania and depression).

Quote:
Her Dad ended his life when she was 4. Abuse started 4 years later by stepfather.... She was sexually abused as a young girl by her step father for 4 years.
Likewise, my BPDer exW was sexually abused for several years by a parent -- her own father -- starting about age 7. Such abuse greatly raises the risk for developing a PD. With BPDers, for example, 70% report that they had been abandoned or abused by a parent during childhood.

Quote:
One thing that comes back to me every few months happened at the very first MC meeting. He asked us each "What are you most afraid of?"
... She said "That he wakes up and realizes things and leaves me."
People suffering from most personality disorders -- e.g., the Narcissistic, Histrionic, Dependent, and Avoidant PDs -- have a great fear of abandonment. They live in fear that, when a partner eventually discovers how empty they are on the inside, he will walk out.

Quote:
My confidence to leave has gone way up since I came back here.... Divorce and freedom from this 23 year imprisonment!
Great change in your attitude, StillSearching. I agree with Farside that "You cannot get away from this woman fast enough."

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post #236 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 06:13 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

No more talking to her from now on. Disengage completely.
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post #237 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 05:24 PM
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Re: BS with long time update

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
She turned the hotel hooker up to 10 on me last night.
I didn't fall for it.
She was naked in my bed and all of it.
I can't tell weather shes mentally ill or completely evil.

She also told me she booked the hotel Monday to meet a man to have sex "To see if there is anything wrong with me."-she said.
WTF ..... of course there is!
Why choose one? Sounds like she's both of those to me.
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post #238 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-26-2017, 08:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: BS with long time update

I would like to take the time to thank everyone here for their support over the years and especially over the last couple months.
Your advice has been a godsend. I have retained the most feared D lawyer in the area. When I first called his office the law clerk told me he was out of town.
I proceeded to explain a few details to him. He told me hang on a minute. Two minutes later the REAL lawyer got on the phone and said " I want you in my office in 15 mins, leave work now and get
here as fast as you can!" I have more evidence than I could possibly need.
I will be compensated for the last 20 years and more.
All the doubt of my financial demise has lifted and my life looks very promising ahead.
I have started counselling to help me solve trust issues going forward.
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post #239 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-26-2017, 08:49 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

I hope I'm not minimizing the pain your wife has caused you by saying that I'm happy for you. Your wife effectively handed you a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, and you're taking it and running. What a relief it must be to leave that anchor behind.
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post #240 of 264 (permalink) Old 04-26-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: BS with long time update

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
I would like to take the time to thank everyone here for their support over the years and especially over the last couple months.
Your advice has been a godsend. I have retained the most feared D lawyer in the area. When I first called his office the law clerk told me he was out of town.
I proceeded to explain a few details to him. He told me hang on a minute. Two minutes later the REAL lawyer got on the phone and said " I want you in my office in 15 mins, leave work now and get
here as fast as you can!" I have more evidence than I could possibly need.
I will be compensated for the last 20 years and more.
All the doubt of my financial demise has lifted and my life looks very promising ahead.
I have started counselling to help me solve trust issues going forward.
Outstanding!!!
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