, thanks for the call out.
Uptown, please talk some sense into this gentleman.
You and the other respondents have already accomplished that. Congratulations, Farside
! In Searching's response to you, he states, "I'm Gettin' I'm Gettin' away! Fast as I can."
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
I can't tell weather shes mentally ill or completely evil.
Between those two choices, Searching, my guess would be "mentally ill."
Of course, only a professional can determine whether her behavioral symptoms are so severe and persistent as to constitute a full-blown disorder. I nonetheless can tell you that the symptoms you describe -- i.e., the serial cheating, years of lying, and neediness -- are warning signs for Bipolar-1 Disorder, Histrionic PD and Narcissistic PD.
She has been diagnosed by a Dr. Bi-polar and depression. But she never told the guy about affairs or extent of sexual abuse. I'm sure there's more going on.
The vast majority of people suffering from a "clinical disorder" such as Bipolar or Depression -- or from a PD such as Narcissism PD or Borderline PD (BPD) -- also suffer from at least one other disorder as well. You thus are wise to suspect "there's more going on" than the diagnosis of Bipolar. With females exhibiting full-blown Bipolar-1 in the past year, for example, 47% of them also exhibit a lifetime incidence of full-blown BPD.
Her abuse has made it so she can't really be infatuated or show outward love to me.
Do you believe that she really does love you? I ask because, if she exhibits strong narcissistic symptoms, she is incapable of loving anyone. In contrast, Histrionics, BPDers, and Bipolar sufferers are capable of loving intensely (albeit not consistently showing it).
Nope sex life never wavered.... I would say things are fine. Never great.
Are you saying that she has been emotionally stable over the past 24 years? If things are "fine" and your sex life "never wavered," you seem to believe your W is a stable woman. I ask because, whereas Narcissists typically are stable emotionally, the BPDers and Bipolar sufferers are emotionally unstable (BPDers flip between adoring you and devaluing you but Bipolar sufferers swing between mania and depression).
Her Dad ended his life when she was 4. Abuse started 4 years later by stepfather.... She was sexually abused as a young girl by her step father for 4 years.
Likewise, my BPDer exW was sexually abused for several years by a parent -- her own father -- starting about age 7. Such abuse greatly raises the risk for developing a PD. With BPDers, for example, 70% report that they had been abandoned or abused by a parent during childhood.
One thing that comes back to me every few months happened at the very first MC meeting. He asked us each "What are you most afraid of?"
... She said "That he wakes up and realizes things and leaves me."
People suffering from most personality disorders -- e.g., the Narcissistic, Histrionic, Dependent, and Avoidant PDs -- have a great fear of abandonment. They live in fear that, when a partner eventually discovers how empty they are on the inside, he will walk out.
My confidence to leave has gone way up since I came back here.... Divorce and freedom from this 23 year imprisonment!
Great change in your attitude, StillSearching. I agree with Farside
that "You cannot get away from this woman fast enough."