Re: BS with long time update
There are many who will argue there are no differences between WW's and WH's ... therefore, BH's and BW's should be advised in the same manner ... to which I call BS from the mountaintop. I don't read or respond to BW threads ... I simply have no point of reference from which to advise ... so I just stay away from them altogether. With that said, as a BH, my experience shows that there are very few BH/WW scenarios when the best advise ins't to D immediately and move on. There are just very few WW's worth the time, pain and risk of attempting R with them.
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
There's a huge difference. I feel the same as you.
"I don't read or respond to BW threads ... I simply have no point of reference from which to advise ... so I just stay away from them altogether." TRUE.
There are NO scenarios worth staying.
Men are not women, women are not men.
Anyone here who has dealt with a WW as long as I have will concur.
I guess I have a deep aversion to grouping people in general and "mens only" clubs in particular, but curious to know why you both feel so strongly about this? When I met with my husband's AP's husband to talk over what we both knew about the affair, I was very conscious of how similar our feelings and states of mind were. There was an almost alarming degree of mutual empathy.
I see that each of us are unique, but can share experiences and backgrounds that enable us to identify with one another outside of ourselves. For example, I would expect to have more in common (in my understanding of infidelity) with a BH who came from a similar cultural background than a BW who came from a culture that saw marriage in a very different way to mine. Out of interest, how would either of you respond to a man asking for advice as a BH with a WH?
“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.” ― C.S. Lewis
FINE PRINT: My post is simply my own opinion (unless indicated otherwise). Which I believe I am entitled to express, as best as I can.