If you feel that there is a poster whose input is not helpful or even hurtful, you can ask them to not post on your thread.
True but that won't necessarily result in that person not posting. I believe I told her that a particular post she made seemed selfish.
It was based on her own posts where she explicitly called out all the times she didn't consider either the marriage or her H in her decisions ( I think but I'm getting old and it may not have been me or may not have been that issue)
I think it's important to get feedback from different perspectives. I have not been through infidelity and I have a stable, very LT relationship with someone who considers me in all decisions and vice versa. So I have no triggers and no ax to grind.
Selfish behavior, in particular, is often overlooked by the actor. It's common among moms - who interpret their behavior only (or primarily) though the view as a mother. What looks self sacrificing can also be very selfish from the view of the H. Most H don't want to feel that way so they ignore, suppress, etc but still build resentment. In fact, "motherhood" behavior can be very selfish to the H and marriage because most moms I know WANT to fully commit to motherhood and CONSCIOUSLY put other needs out of their mind. When days are filled 24/7 with work,housework, childrearing because the mom CHOOSES to meet her own needs and her perception of her childrens' needs this way as a mother, they can be shocked to later learn of the damage this has caused to their relationship.
So I don't expect OP to hear this but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be said.
BTW I am an equal opportunity poster - I post when I see positive behavior as well as questionable behavior. I would prefer to be wrong most of the time if it provides a TAM poster in distress help or insight sone of the time.
Also... I don't NOT support her approach here even though it's unconventional. (I can't say I support it because I honestly don't know if it will work and haven't been through this before)
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