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post #16 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 11:45 AM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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Originally Posted by Marc878 View Post
You are going to get replaced if you haven't already.
Seems more like she settled for him because she could not have this other guy and OP never or only a short amount of time had the pole position in her heart.

She sounds just like another case of someone that desperately needs therapy to help her sort her issues out. Rape as a child, NISA, idolization, triggering etc, that's basically a life-long patient.

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post #17 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 12:08 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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So I need to tell her that she needs to stop contacting him? It's what I, or the jealous side of me, wants but at the same time I feel guilty for forcing someone out of her life who helps her. She is in therapy as well.
It is not being jealous when you are PROTECTING your marriage. Remind me again who is she married to? You or OM? Sorry buddy, but you are not first in he heart. You are nothing more than Plan B because she could not have him. If you do not have kids, I suggest you end this marriage while you can. You deserve to be with someone who will invest 100% emotionally on you. I know you may feel sorry for her because of what she suffered in the past. But if she won't move on with you, then this marriage is over. It's already more than halfway there.

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post #18 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 12:25 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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My hesitation comes from the hurt that I have caused my wife from my own actions. In the sense of, "I've already hurt her this much, do I really want to hurt her more by ripping away the one person who has always been there for her. Who was there for her when I wasn't, but should have been." I know first hand that ex's can be troublesome in a marriage/relationship. I just need to nip it in the bud.
Rape is awful period. You cannot feel guilt for your actions if YOU DO NOT KNOW the problem you created. Seriously dude, she was raped, not by you, but you are going to shoulder the "hurt" for something you didn't know? Honestly, you know your thinking is wrong. A simple "honey, don't pee in front of me" is much better than you reading texts to find out what problems exist in your marriage. Even worse is finding out she is confiding in a guy she had a previous relationship with. Yes, even if said guy is an old friend who helped her through a traumatic time, it is still wrong. Do you realize how unhealthy of a marriage you have if you two are communicating problems through texts to another guy?

Let that slowly sink in. You two can't communicate with each other, so you do it through an intermediary.

She needs more counseling and you both need a marriage counselor. Stay this soft and you might end up with the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech.
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post #19 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

Gang raped at 14 years old. In a relationship with OM for 4 years after that (18 year old) then he moves away/joins army. You enter her life at 19 yr old. Have a child at around 21 yr, then marry her at around 26 yr even though she has been talking texting OM the entire time and was hesitant to marry you. Been married 3 years and you have seen or heard her say she wishes he had been her first sexual experience after the rape and that it would be easier to have sex with him than you. She is obsessed with all things military and OM is in military. Is this about right?

He is the one that got away. You are the Plan B, the consolation prize she married grudgingly because he was not available but she continues her relationship with him by phone, email, and text. This is much more that a simple friendship and given half a chance she will go with him.

You have to get into some serious MC to save your marriage. Since OM has been her hero and confidant since she was 14 yr old, it may be impossible.

Sorry.
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post #20 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 01:42 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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This is something that I need to work on. My wife is very fit, works out 5 days a week, runs 25 miles a week. She gets a lot of attention from men. Interestingly, she didn't start working out until we hit our rough patch 5 years ago. Then went from never running or working out to doing it 5x a week and going from about 140 lbs to 110 lbs. Doing workouts that are considered military type workouts. She pushed herself to the max to make that huge transition in about 3 months.

I on the other hand, not so much. I weight about 40-50 lbs more than I should. Hesitate on buying new clothes because "I'm going to lose the weight" but never do. She tries to encourage me to exercise with her, eat better with her. Not taking care of that is my fault.
Dude you need to get your excrement together. You have very fit young wife and you're 50 lbs over weight, dressing drab, and working nights? If she's not already cheating with a guy at the gym, she is very vulnerable to a smooth player swooping in. A fit 29 year old woman wants a strong, confident man to bang her often. But you're wife is disgusted by you.

Get your but into a gym to get into shape. Once you're into shape, I also recommend that you take up a martial art. The confidence you'll gain from being fit and knowing you can defend yourself will boost your confidence.

Also, you need to get another job ASAP. Having a young hot wife at home alone at night then having her see you sleep during the day is KILLING her feelings for you.

I guarantee you, that if you get in shape, get involved in a vigorous sport, get your clothes, hair, hygiene, ETC on point, and get a day job. Your marriage will turn around and you'll have a wife who's going to enthusiastically offer herself to you.

Go read Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay. An excellent guide on becoming a better man to improve your marriage. I also recommend that you look up the Starting Strength routine by Mark Rippetoe to guide your workout.

DO THESE THINGS TODAY.

Last edited by jsmart; 03-25-2017 at 01:49 PM.
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post #21 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 01:46 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

I have a different take. The others seem to be ignoring these "problems" you say you caused including dating for seven years without proposing. I think you need to take a long look at yourself,do the right things instead of daydreaming about and man up. The way you described it I'm surprised she is still with you. Normally I would say she is in a run of the mill emotional affair. Oddly, the other guy is a cross between a brother and an unrequited love.

I'm guessing as much as you imply you have let her down, she would choose divorce over unfriending him. She is damaged and from your first sentence I thought that was going to be because she had abuse in her background. This turns out to be much worse except for the sex. Abused women usually associate the man they are married to as an abuser and cut way back on sex. In your case, you say your own behavior has caused her to pull back.

Frankly, since she isn't hiding her communications, I would get a clue, fix myself and use her chats with him as my guide. My guess though is you don't have it in you to be a stand up guy.

Get the MARRIED MAN SEX LIFE PRIMER below. You need it badly. She's fit and your fifty pounds over weight. That's her big clue to your character. Btdt
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post #22 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 02:26 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

Yea, @Chaparral raised an excellent point. Why did it take you 7 years to marry her? She's good enough to have a kid with but you hesitated on marriage? She should have been your wife BEFORE your kid was born.

As soon as she was pregnant and you both decided to have it, your very next action should have been to propose. She had to go through the whole pregnancy and the baby/toddler years as a girlfriend. That was not forgotten. Then years later, you want to make an honest woman of her? Not surprised that she was luke warm. Especially if her "friend" is possibly telling her "
if you were having my baby, I would've married you."

But there is nothing you can do about the past. You can only move forward. Get your stuff together ASAP. Your marriage is in trouble. To be honest, there could be a local guy that she's talking to. You're so focused on this guy that you're letting your guard down on a local guy. Especially someone at the gym.

I repeat. MOVE with some urgency. Get your sh.. together.
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post #23 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 04:35 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
Honestly, you know your thinking is wrong. A simple "honey, don't pee in front of me" is much better than you reading texts to find out what problems exist in your marriage. Even worse is finding out she is confiding in a guy she had a previous relationship with. Yes, even if said guy is an old friend who helped her through a traumatic time, it is still wrong. Do you realize how unhealthy of a marriage you have if you two are communicating problems through texts to another guy?

Let that slowly sink in.
@OP Philly is spot on with the above point, especially where he says "Do you realize how unhealthy of a marriage you have if you two are communicating problems through texts to another guy?" You should read his post a few times so it can sink in.
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post #24 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 04:53 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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Normally I would say she is in a run of the mill emotional affair. Oddly, the other guy is a cross between a brother and an unrequited love.
I usually agree with you Chap, but you are dead wrong saying that there is any brotherly feeling involved between her and the other man (OM). No way she could be telling the OM that she wishes that he was the first person that she had sex with, and that even today sex with the OM would be easier for her than sex with her husband. Sorry that is not how you talk to a brother. No way, no how. This is in fact a full blown emotional affair (EA), where the common run of the mill excuse that the OM is like a brother is being used.
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post #25 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 05:29 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

When I was 14, I got into a relationship, physical and otherwise, with a girl a year older than me who was raped by her father. I was raped and molested as a child and we helped each other and supported each other.

I encouraged and helped her press charges against her dad and get into a better situation.

We are still friends and will always have a connection.

That being said, I married my wife and owe her my loyalty and both physical and emotional fidelity.

Your wife is way out of line and has no reason to cheat emotionally like she is.

She can always have a special connection with him but she better only honor you as husband.

He needs to cut his sh*t out and support your marriage if he is a true friend.

I would talk with both of them separately. I would send him a picture of your daughter and ask him if his intentions towards the little girl's parents was in her best interest?

Tell him to grow the hell up and get his own family while expressing appreciation for how much he helped your wife in her time of need.

You need to have a grown up discussion with your wife as well.

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post #26 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 07:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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post #27 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 07:36 PM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

I assumed your child was a girl for some reason.

Sorry about that.
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post #28 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 09:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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You own your part in the marriage for sure but make no mistake there is never an excuse for an affair. Your wife isn't perfect either but did you go out and bring another woman into your marriage.

You've got the Mr Nice guy syndrome which will get you walked on and zero respect. That and letting yourself go is probably why you are where you are.

You'd better wake up.

Youre just making excuses hoping it'll all just go away and you won have to do anything. It won't

Read it and apply it to your life
http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrBT...yINnP1YlrN5GI-
In 2011-12 and 2015 I cheated on my wife. The first time we were not married, the second time we were. The first affair was with a 'childhood' ex-girlfriend of mine that I dated 20 years ago. I was working with her, due to the nature of our jobs we worked nights alone with each other. She has always had a special place in my heart, was recently broken up with and one thing led to another. It went on for about 6 months before my wife (then girlfriend) found out. I quit that job and stopped talking to her. We started MC. This is why I said I know first hand that ex's can be trouble. In 2015 I had a few ONS.

Me hurting her goes further than hurting her over issues I was unaware of. I straight up betrayed her, and that may be coming back to bite me in the ass.

I'll read that, because I get bored at work, but I don't think I'll I'm a nice guy. Just guilty as F and trying to let her get away with whatever she wants to make up for it.

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Originally Posted by Taxman View Post
The texts are just nice so far...
By the time they get sexual, you have already lost.
Nip it in the bud. If she gets defensive, make sure you have at the ready a good description of an emotional affair. From my reading, most involved in emotional affairs do not understand that IT IS AN AFFAIR. It is a betrayal, a breach of trust and completely disrespectful. That has to be made clear to her, if she is unhappy, let her know that she is welcome to walk straight over to her friend. Let him be blessed with a cheating spouse.

You appear to be frightened of confronting this. You say that you would be taking a dear friend from her. I disagree, you are removing an impediment to your marriage. There cannot be three people in your bed. If she is emotionally dependent on him, then you have already lost her.
You're right. And they could quickly turn sexual. I have no clue what goes on when they FaceTime. It could be anything from just innocent talking to video sex. I've never seen her FaceTime with him while I'm home, though to be fair she doesn't FaceTime with anyone but family while I'm around. I did some research and it seems that a lot of people in emotional affairs don't realize it's cheating. I'll have to talk to her about it.

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Originally Posted by straightshooter View Post
OP,

You better read the above. This thing with her ex is NOT normal NOR acceptable. And in case you have not figured it out, six hours is not another continent so i would not bet your 401K with this kind of texting going on that she has not seen him in eight years. As a matter of fact, I WOULD bet money that she would refuse to take a polygraph test to validate that statement.

Time for you to stop playing ostrich.
You are correct, that 6 hours is not an impossible drive. Especially with his brothers living 2 hours away from us, and he'd have to drive through our city on the way. I'd notice if she were gone for 12+ hours, though. Of course he could come down this way and I'd never know. Their messages had a lot of "I wish you lived closer, I miss seeing you" type messages. I do need to talk to her about it.

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Originally Posted by rzmpf View Post
Seems more like she settled for him because she could not have this other guy and OP never or only a short amount of time had the pole position in her heart.

She sounds just like another case of someone that desperately needs therapy to help her sort her issues out. Rape as a child, NISA, idolization, triggering etc, that's basically a life-long patient.
She is in therapy, she has been going for as long as I've known her. She's had brief periods of quitting but always goes back to it.

The thing that gets me is that there isn't really anything holding her back if she really wants him. Yes we're married but people divorce all the time. She'd be financially fine on her own. We have a child, but you shouldn't stay together for the child. The only thing that I can think of is HE doesn't want HER. If I remember correctly, they were childhood friends, she was raped, they became very close for the next 2 years, then dated for a year, then he broke up with her and they remained very close friends for a year, then he enlisted.

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Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
Rape is awful period. You cannot feel guilt for your actions if YOU DO NOT KNOW the problem you created. Seriously dude, she was raped, not by you, but you are going to shoulder the "hurt" for something you didn't know? Honestly, you know your thinking is wrong. A simple "honey, don't pee in front of me" is much better than you reading texts to find out what problems exist in your marriage. Even worse is finding out she is confiding in a guy she had a previous relationship with. Yes, even if said guy is an old friend who helped her through a traumatic time, it is still wrong. Do you realize how unhealthy of a marriage you have if you two are communicating problems through texts to another guy?

Let that slowly sink in. You two can't communicate with each other, so you do it through an intermediary.

She needs more counseling and you both need a marriage counselor. Stay this soft and you might end up with the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech.
You are absolutely right that we have poor communication. I always knew that our communication wasn't great, we've been in MC on and off for years, but I didn't know it was this bad. In the texts she told him that I'm too "oblivious" to the things that I do. She needs to stop talking to him about our problems and talk to me. I'm the only one who can fix them. Honestly, reading through those messages shows me how much I do that bothers her. I don't know how she expects them to get better if she won't tell me, or even the MC.

I have, unfortunately, hurt her more than just not knowing about her triggers by cheating on her.

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Originally Posted by TDSC60 View Post
Gang raped at 14 years old. In a relationship with OM for 4 years after that (18 year old) then he moves away/joins army. You enter her life at 19 yr old. Have a child at around 21 yr, then marry her at around 26 yr even though she has been talking texting OM the entire time and was hesitant to marry you. Been married 3 years and you have seen or heard her say she wishes he had been her first sexual experience after the rape and that it would be easier to have sex with him than you. She is obsessed with all things military and OM is in military. Is this about right?

He is the one that got away. You are the Plan B, the consolation prize she married grudgingly because he was not available but she continues her relationship with him by phone, email, and text. This is much more that a simple friendship and given half a chance she will go with him.

You have to get into some serious MC to save your marriage. Since OM has been her hero and confidant since she was 14 yr old, it may be impossible.

Sorry.
Yup, that's about right.

That sucks to hear and to let it sink in, but you are probably right. She mentions him from time to time. One time when we were hanging out with friends someone said something about armoured soldiers that I guess was incorrect. She immediately spewed out a ton of information like it was her own job. Then just said she had an ex with that job and quickly changed the subject.

So back to MC we go... But you're right... She may be too obsessed with him to move on from him.

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Originally Posted by jsmart View Post
Dude you need to get your excrement together. You have very fit young wife and you're 50 lbs over weight, dressing drab, and working nights? If she's not already cheating with a guy at the gym, she is very vulnerable to a smooth player swooping in. A fit 29 year old woman wants a strong, confident man to bang her often. But you're wife is disgusted by you.

Get your but into a gym to get into shape. Once you're into shape, I also recommend that you take up a martial art. The confidence you'll gain from being fit and knowing you can defend yourself will boost your confidence.

Also, you need to get another job ASAP. Having a young hot wife at home alone at night then having her see you sleep during the day is KILLING her feelings for you.

I guarantee you, that if you get in shape, get involved in a vigorous sport, get your clothes, hair, hygiene, ETC on point, and get a day job. Your marriage will turn around and you'll have a wife who's going to enthusiastically offer herself to you.

Go read Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay. An excellent guide on becoming a better man to improve your marriage. I also recommend that you look up the Starting Strength routine by Mark Rippetoe to guide your workout.

DO THESE THINGS TODAY.
I'm an emergency responder, so changing my job isn't that easy. Everyone wants day shifts, many people have to alternate days and nights which is hard to do. So I work 12 hour night shifts. It's not ideal, I know but it's what I've got to work with right now. My wife hates it. Between her schedule and mine, it feels like we never see each other.

To be honest, and it's stupid in hindsight, I have never thought of her cheating with someone at the gym. She goes 5x a week. Her workplace has hundreds of employees, any of them could be banging her. I work all night, anyone could be in my house at night.

I will read that book. I know that I need to work on myself, I lack the motivation.

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Originally Posted by jsmart View Post
Yea, @Chaparral raised an excellent point. Why did it take you 7 years to marry her? She's good enough to have a kid with but you hesitated on marriage? She should have been your wife BEFORE your kid was born.

As soon as she was pregnant and you both decided to have it, your very next action should have been to propose. She had to go through the whole pregnancy and the baby/toddler years as a girlfriend. That was not forgotten. Then years later, you want to make an honest woman of her? Not surprised that she was luke warm. Especially if her "friend" is possibly telling her "
if you were having my baby, I would've married you."

But there is nothing you can do about the past. You can only move forward. Get your stuff together ASAP. Your marriage is in trouble. To be honest, there could be a local guy that she's talking to. You're so focused on this guy that you're letting your guard down on a local guy. Especially someone at the gym.

I repeat. MOVE with some urgency. Get your sh.. together.
Our child was unplanned. She was (or was supposed to be) on birth control. When she got pregnant I wasn't ready to marry her and didn't want to get married just because a baby was coming. She really wanted me to propose at the very least, and that's my fault for not doing that for her. After our child was born we had a rough patch which involved me cheating on her. Marriage was moved off the table. We went through MC for 2 years then married.

I know that I hurt her by taking so long to propose. We had some friends that had kids around the same time, they all got married. She was literally the only one who didn't and everyone asked when she would. She felt like she was at my mercy with that, I had all the control.

Like someone else said, you could be right. I've been so focused on this guy, 6 hours away, that I haven't even considered the men she sees daily at the gym or work.

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Originally Posted by TRy View Post
I usually agree with you Chap, but you are dead wrong saying that there is any brotherly feeling involved between her and the other man (OM). No way she could be telling the OM that she wishes that he was the first person that she had sex with, and that even today sex with the OM would be easier for her than sex with her husband. Sorry that is not how you talk to a brother. No way, no how. This is in fact a full blown emotional affair (EA), where the common run of the mill excuse that the OM is like a brother is being used.
I agree that she does not see him like a brother. She was in love with him, maybe still is. She told him that sex with him would be easier than sex with me because he knows everything and what not to do. I'd know that stuff as well if she'd just TELL ME. I'm furious at her for not understanding that. He responded to that with "I would have taken such good care of you. I always wished we could have been intimate but the timing was not in our favour". In my world he crossing the line more than my wife is, but that's stupid thinking. I'm just trying to throw the blame to someone other than my wife.




I didn't know they were talking as much as they do. When we talked about previous relationships she said (and still says) that in hindsight they didn't have a relationship. She claims the farthest they went was quick pecking kisses, not even making out. Their relationship as best friends, to BF/GF and back to best friends never changed - just the title changed. Whether she really believes that or not, I don't know. I'm thinking no and she was just using it as a cover up. Based on the texts, I'm 99% sure they have not been intimate (yet).

I need to confront her about it. I've made my own mistakes in our marriage, probably worse than hers, but that doesn't give her an excuse to do this. If she wants this marriage to work then we need to discuss this, she needs to drop him as a friend and she needs to learn to talk to me and lean on me. Or hell, at least talk to a therapist about this.
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post #29 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:39 AM
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

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In 2011-12 and 2015 I cheated on my wife. The first time we were not married, the second time we were. The first affair was with a 'childhood' ex-girlfriend of mine that I dated 20 years ago. I was working with her, due to the nature of our jobs we worked nights alone with each other. She has always had a special place in my heart, was recently broken up with and one thing led to another. It went on for about 6 months before my wife (then girlfriend) found out. I quit that job and stopped talking to her. We started MC. This is why I said I know first hand that ex's can be trouble. In 2015 I had a few ONS.
Well you might as well delete this thread and start all over because that was basically the punchline to all this that you left out. Just a note to posters, if you want good advice you need to tell the whole story. OP seriously post the full story of your dating and marriage up to this point with the cheating. You talked about her wanting to get married and then trying to back out in the first post, but you left out the cheating. Me thinks this may be why she suddenly had cold feet? Does your wife know about the ONS?

Maybe her loyalty to you is no more. Maybe she thinks like some of us once the contract is broken there is no reason to be faithful. Personally I would just move on but some don't at least physically. What have you done to fix your cheating and try to heal her pain? Seriously play with fire and your gonna get burned. You may have just killed your wife's love for you.
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post #30 of 71 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:01 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is chatting with her ex/NISA

I originally left out the cheating because I knew if I said I cheated on her I would just get told to divorce her, that she deserves better, that I deserve to be cheated on as well, that this is all caused by my cheating and she has done nothing wrong, etc. I realized that was wrong of me and I posted the other half of the equation. She knows about everything that I have done. She chose to stay and to go to MC. She had cold feet before (and after) I cheated.

A timeline, as requested:

-My wife was raped in 2002. She was in some sort of a non-intimate relationship with her ex somewhere between 2002 and 2006. In 2006 he enlisted in the military and moved away.

-A few months later my wife moved to the same province that he is stationed in “for school”.

-6 months later in early 2007 we met and started a relationship.

-The first year of our relationship could barely be seen as a relationship, we didn’t even kiss and barely held hands. There was something about her, that I wanted to work for.

-In 2008 we started seeing a sex therapist, to help open the doors to intimacy.

-We had sex for the first time in 2009, she got pregnant almost immediately. This is when she started talking about marriage. She wanted to be engaged at the very least, I didn’t want to propose just because she was pregnant.

-Somewhere in the middle we moved in together.

-We had a child in 2010. She kept pressing for marriage. She was upset that I wouldn’t marry her but had a child with her (an accidental child).

-After she got pregnant and up until our child was a few months old, there wasn’t much contact between my wife and her ex.

-After our child was born things slowly started getting worse. I didn’t enjoy being a father, I didn’t have any bond. My wife was controlling, and now I appreciate her for it because she knew better than I did, but at the time I viewed it as I wasn’t good enough to help her or my opinion didn’t matter. She kept pressing for marriage and I was getting further away from it. She started pulling back from me and I started pulling back from her, our intimacy stopped, she stopped talking about marriage and the odd time I brought it up she wasn’t interested.

-Contact with her ex picked up again.

-In late 2011 and early 2012 I had an affair with a long ago ex-girlfriend of mine (from 20 years ago now) who I was working with.

-My wife found out about the affair from a friend of mine. It snapped me out of it and I ended the affair.

-After my wife found out about the affair she very suddenly decided to lose weight and get back in shape. She started a very vigorous exercise program with a personal trainer. She had about 30 pounds of weight that stuck around after her pregnancy, she lost it in 3 months. And went from being stationary to working out 5x a week and running 5x a week.

-I have not spoken to that women since the day my wife found out. I quit my job and found another one, taking a significant pay decrease. My wife has had full access to all of my electronics since and can ask where I am, what I’m doing whenever she wants. For the first year I had to call and check up constantly.

-My wife and I started MC and continued with that for 2 years. We got back to a good place in our relationship.

- Contact with her ex stopped shortly after we start MC, mid-2012. There is a year with no visible contact.

-Contact with her ex started again in mid-2013.

-Late 2013 I started talking about marriage and she was the one who was hesitant.

-In January 2014 I proposed to her and we married that March. My wife had cold feet through our short engagement.

-When I proposed he stopped contact with her, January 2014.

-The start to our marriage was good, we kept up with MC though went much less.

-They remained in no contact for most of 2014, sporadic messages.

-In 2015 I had a series of one night stands with other women.

-I told my wife that I had cheated on her, though I didn’t tell her with how many women. Once again I quit my job and this time (due to her wishes) we moved (2 hours closer to her ex). I found another job and once again we went back to MC full swing.

-Contact started back up with her ex. He supported her through a lot of it. He told her to leave me (understandable).

-Come to think of it my wife went to visit "family" for a week immediately after finding out about my cheating, which she has never done before or since.

-In MC I confessed to my wife exactly what I had done in the previous months. It was a very hard road to get out of that hole I dug.

-We started 2016 on a good note. Things seemed to be looking up for us. Contact with her ex stops again.

-Mid 2016 **** went downhill again. My wife pulled back, intimacy stopped. She started using her phone more often, being on social media more, was very slightly more protective over her electronics. She no longer has an interest in me.

-Contact with her ex has been high since. We have been in MC on and off, with no progress to be made.

Last edited by natsanjose; 03-26-2017 at 02:08 AM.
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