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post #196 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 09:53 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Heh heh,
I'm cancelling my cable, who needs it with all this entertainment?

She's a lying, promiscuous, husband-mistreating, dirty, home wrecking seductress. He's a poor, seduced, remorseful, clean, truth-trickling, irresistible, honorable man---- in his mind.

If this is for real, people are truly able to spin and reverse pretty much any horrible behavior they do in their twisted little minds.

I guess the dark side is tempting, eh Skywalker?

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post #197 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:20 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Now this is down right ‘funny’ in a very sad way.
You are a man who allowed “unprotected oral, unprotected penetration/anal” and you lied to her about being divorce, and you cheated on your wife. If we use your own measure here, what does that make you?
I could offer a couple of suggestions, but don't want to get banned!

That's akin to playing with knifes and stabbing someone then blaming them for not making you put a cover on the blade!! Ridiculous.

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post #198 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:37 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Until you tell her everything, you're still cheating on her.

If you were at all cut out for what it takes to TRULY reconcile in the face of your infidelity, you'd get that.

But you don't, so you're not.

Sooner or later, your wife is going to pick up on that.

Prepare yourself for a divorce.
I am NOT cheating on my wife. I do not want to overwhelm her with information that is a sure fire way to destroy our marriage. I am not trying to con her, I will tell her when the time is right. My wife will only contact me through text, even though we are in the same house. She randomly asks me questions wanting a very detailed answer. Whether or not I said I was married/divorce did not come up. If it does, I am not going to lie to her. I’m not giving her more information than she asks for, that will just torture her. She is asking what she needs to know.

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If she really is your best friends ex wife how is she guilty of sleeping with a stranger aka you?
At least that is what I gleaned from that comment the she is not a good person because she slept with a "stranger"
We didn’t see or talk to each other in 6 YEARS! Just because she was married to my friend doesn’t mean we were close friends. I knew her, sure, but we were not buddy-buddy. It’s like seeing someone you had a few college classes with, then got out of contact and 6 years after graduation you see them again. Sure you know their face and their name, but they are basically a stranger.

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You're a millennial, aren't you?
Barely. 1980.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Now this is down right ‘funny’ in a very sad way.
You are a man who allowed “unprotected oral, unprotected penetration/anal” and you lied to her about being divorce, and you cheated on your wife. If we use your own measure here, what does that make you?
Then the other woman is just as bad as I am, said from your own mouth. Or fingertips, if you will. Let’s stop pretending that I am the only person here who has made mistakes.
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post #199 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:54 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Go back and read your first post! You at least sound human. Until you realize without full disclosure and owning, not blame sifting, you will not have a chance of recovering. Now, go back and reread you first post!



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post #200 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:57 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I am NOT cheating on my wife. I do not want to overwhelm her with information that is a sure fire way to destroy our marriage. I am not trying to con her, I will tell her when the time is right. My wife will only contact me through text, even though we are in the same house. She randomly asks me questions wanting a very detailed answer. Whether or not I said I was married/divorce did not come up. If it does, I am not going to lie to her. I’m not giving her more information than she asks for, that will just torture her. She is asking what she needs to know.



We didn’t see or talk to each other in 6 YEARS! Just because she was married to my friend doesn’t mean we were close friends. I knew her, sure, but we were not buddy-buddy. It’s like seeing someone you had a few college classes with, then got out of contact and 6 years after graduation you see them again. Sure you know their face and their name, but they are basically a stranger.



Barely. 1980.



Then the other woman is just as bad as I am, said from your own mouth. Or fingertips, if you will. Let’s stop pretending that I am the only person here who has made mistakes.
Tricking a woman into having sex with you is not a mistake.

It is a calculated action undertaken in order to obtain for you some illicit carnal congress.

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post #201 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:57 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Let’s stop pretending that I am the only person here who has made mistakes.
She didn't do anything wrong, though. She slept with a man who claimed he was single and said he was no longer close with her ex. She does not owe her ex any loyalty. That's on you.
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post #202 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:17 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I am NOT cheating on my wife. I do not want to overwhelm her with information that is a sure fire way to destroy our marriage. I am not trying to con her, I will tell her when the time is right. My wife will only contact me through text, even though we are in the same house. She randomly asks me questions wanting a very detailed answer. Whether or not I said I was married/divorce did not come up. If it does, I am not going to lie to her. I’m not giving her more information than she asks for, that will just torture her. She is asking what she needs to know.



We didn’t see or talk to each other in 6 YEARS! Just because she was married to my friend doesn’t mean we were close friends. I knew her, sure, but we were not buddy-buddy. It’s like seeing someone you had a few college classes with, then got out of contact and 6 years after graduation you see them again. Sure you know their face and their name, but they are basically a stranger.



Barely. 1980.



Then the other woman is just as bad as I am, said from your own mouth. Or fingertips, if you will. Let’s stop pretending that I am the only person here who has made mistakes.
Nope.

You'll find out.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #203 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:25 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I am NOT cheating on my wife. I do not want to overwhelm her with information that is a sure fire way to destroy our marriage. I am not trying to con her, I will tell her when the time is right. My wife will only contact me through text, even though we are in the same house. She randomly asks me questions wanting a very detailed answer. Whether or not I said I was married/divorce did not come up. If it does, I am not going to lie to her. I’m not giving her more information than she asks for, that will just torture her. She is asking what she needs to know.



.
This is called trickle truthing.

Eta: I'm not sure if it will ever sink in with you, but you need to understand that you are not the decision-maker anymore. You resigned from that position the moment you dipped your Wick in the OW. I think it's really ballsy of you to put yourself in the seat of the decision maker. That is not your seat anymore.

Last edited by lucy999; 03-30-2017 at 12:30 PM.
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post #204 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 02:19 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

@alexgunn What, exactly, did you mean when you wrote this:
Quote:
As the title suggests, this situation is a crap show.

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post #205 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 02:41 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Now this is down right ‘funny’ in a very sad way.

You are a man who allowed “unprotected oral, unprotected penetration/anal” and you lied to her about being divorce, and you cheated on your wife. If we use your own measure here, what does that make you?


Then the other woman is just as bad as I am, said from your own mouth. Or fingertips, if you will. Let’s stop pretending that I am the only person here who has made mistakes.
No, she is not just as bad a you. She did nothing wrong. She had sex with a guy told her that he was not married.

You on the other hand intentionally lied to her about being divorced, tricked her, and cheated on your wife. And now you continue to lie to your wife.

See, until you acknowledge the level of your thing you did, you will not be able to adequately deal with your failings that lead to you cheating. Which means that you will probably cheat again and probably do something similar to other women.

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post #206 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 02:46 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I am NOT cheating on my wife. I do not want to overwhelm her with information that is a sure fire way to destroy our marriage. I am not trying to con her, I will tell her when the time is right. My wife will only contact me through text, even though we are in the same house. She randomly asks me questions wanting a very detailed answer. Whether or not I said I was married/divorce did not come up. If it does, I am not going to lie to her. I’m not giving her more information than she asks for, that will just torture her. She is asking what she needs to know.
Have no doubt that at the gut level your wife knows that you are lying by both omission and outright. At this point she is tortured because she knows you well enough to know that you are now working a con on her.

This is what drives BS's crazy... the lying, the little games like lying by omission. The game of expecting her to ask the exact right question before you will give her that one detail. Believe me, most BSs can tell when this is happening.

It's probably the leading reason why BSs end up divorcing.

It's better to just get it all out at one time. Get it over with. Instead what you are doing (and what most WS do) it to trickle truth and thus spread out the lying and the pain over weeks, months. And each time this happens, the BS's love for the WS die's a little bit more.

Your marriage is going to die because you do not have the fortitude to tell the truth.
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post #207 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 03:54 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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This thread is now closed.

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