Last night I told my wife. I was talking to my friend and he mentioned that he had to go meet with his ex-wife the next day (today). I didn't want him to hear it from someone else (his ex-wife), especially after we had just talked, so I told him. I just told him that we hooked up and it was a one time thing. I didn't go into details because honestly it's just going to be he-said, she-said and whose to say that she's even going to tell him. I wouldn't be telling an ex-spouse who I ****ed. He was pissed, more surprised though. He wanted to know how it happened and why I risked my marriage for her. His scraps. He was surprised that she let it go that far but said she always had an attraction towards me, which I never knew. He's still pissed, but I deserve that I suppose.
I had to tell my wife. She needed to hear it from me and I don't want her to feel like everyone knew. She didn't really react the way I was expecting and I know to expect her to get much worse. She might still be in shock. I expected her to get upset, mad at me, want a divorce, storm out, hate me. She thought I was joking at first and said it wasn't funny. When she realized that I was being serious she asked who it was that I slept with. After I told her she became more pissed than I have ever seen her, but not at me... At the other woman. She said she wanted to go see her, was going to "kill" her. She is mad at me for being so "gullible", "falling for a *****'s tricks" and not using protection. She was directly mad at me for a short while, there was some screaming, some crying, a bit of "hitting". But those feelings quickly transferred to the OW.
Last night my wife sent the other woman messages on Facebook. I didn't know about it until this morning.
"Who the hell do you think you are going around screwing another woman's husband? You couldn't keep your own husband so you had to manipulate mine into touching your disgusting body? How many other husbands have you ****ed? Stop being a home-wrecker and get your own husband. No wonder [your ex-husband] left you."
"You better hope that you don't get pregnant or pass any of your nasty diseases off to him. You'll find yourself in court being sued for every whorish penny you have."
The only reply was: "I didn't know he was married. I'm sorry." Followed by my wife continuing.
"Oh SURE, you ****ing *****. You know damn well that we're married. You came to our wedding for **** sake! [Your XH] was the ****ing best man! Don't feed me that crap."
"Of course he's married! He's a great man. A TAKEN man. The only way you can get your hands on someone like him is through manipulation. Just because no man wants you doesn't mean you can take someone else's husband."
"You're worthless. To my husband and every other man you've conned into your nasty ****."
"You know, I'd think that after having been cheated on and left for another woman you'd never want to hurt a woman the way you were hurt. You need **** that badly that you will destroy kids lives? Destroy another woman's life? Straight from MY husbands mouth you weren't even good. The worst sex he's had. Cleary you are a horrible person and [your XH] was right to divorce you. For a while we all felt bad for you, unbelievable."
"Everyone always thought you were bat**** crazy, from the day they met you. They were glad when [your XH] finally tossed you to the curb. You have been an entertaining source of jokes for years, including by [your XH] and [2 friends]."
"No man has wanted you in 6 years? It's because they are smart enough to stay the hell away from you. Get use to being alone and stop being a thieving *****. You want ****? Go to the street corner. Though, since you are so bad in bed you probably won't get paid. Of course, you will suck every **** in this city for free."
"Probably too busy ****ing another husband. Guess it's as close as you'll get to having another husband. Go be a street *****, like all the other people who grew up sucking their dad's **** and ****ing their brother. Yeah, everyone knows."
"You know, you'd think after you grew up ****ing and sucking **** you'd at least be good at it. Or do you save the good stuff for incest?"
How do I get my wife to A) stop before she gets a harassment charge and B) shift the blame to me? The one who is really to blame. She doesn't want to go to MC right now. She's going to wind up being charged with harassment if this keeps up.
There is a part of me that thinks it would be easier to just let the other woman take the blame, the anger, the hate. That isn't fair to her, or my marriage. I am just at fault as much as the other woman is. More, really, because I deceived her. The other woman doesn't owe my wife anything, she didn't promise to be faithful to her. I did. I broke that promise.
My wife sent my friend a message saying, "You sure dodged a bullet. Your ex-wife just ****ed my husband. You have a better taste in women now, might want to relook at your friends too." As of right now we haven't talked since I told him. I need to focus on my wife/marriage right now.
My wife doesn't want me to touch her, and she wants to know every detail of what happened. All week. She wants to know every detail of the sex and how good/bad it was. That seems like self-sabotaging. She doesn't want to go to MC right now but wants me to do IC because I'm "weak" and "easily tempted by *****s". She took the day off work and has been out for a while. She won't call or text me back and I have no idea where she is.
I didnít ďpreyĒ on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didnít initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. Sheís always wanted to. SHE ****ed her ex-husbands friend.
Iím not writing her an apology. For what? We arenít a couple, never were. If she read the signals wrong then thatís on her. What do you expect from someone who has been a baron wasteland for over half a decade. People lie all the time to get what they want, donít want to get hurt? Then donít believe someone who might as well be a stranger.
The only woman I care about here is my wife. The other woman is not my problem. Sheís a grown ass woman, she makes her own choices.
Why would I have stopped a wedding between the other woman and my friend? Iím not in their relationship. If they wanted to spend 50K on a wedding that wouldnít last then so be it. Iím not meddling in other peopleís business.
BTW, did you tell your BW that you told your friend's ex that you were divorced?
Of course not.
LOL. "OW" isn't an OW at all. You lied to her and told her you were divorced. This is 100% on you.
Either way, it would seem that the "Alex" character has taken a stark turn toward errant *********gery.
I'd advise the author of this tale to right the ship, lest his (or her) intended audience lose interest.
Ooh! Maybe the betrayed wife character could bang the best friend for a revenge lay! Hell, it ain't like he's above stepping outside his marriage for a bit of side action. Plus he sounds like the type of guy that could get his AP/OW/wife to go along with it. And maybe even join in!
Sorry, didn't mean to jump too far ahead.