I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

 578Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:10 PM
Member
 
GusPolinski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TX, USA
Posts: 12,294
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Have you been served with divorce papers yet?


Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
GusPolinski is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:10 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Emerging Buddhist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: World-wide
Posts: 1,459
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

If listening to yourself doesn't change your mind, nothing will.

Me, myself, and I... mutual assured destruction.

नमस्ते 🙏
Emerging Buddhist is offline  
post #48 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:14 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,204
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
So you really think that every man on the planet who has a ONS, a hook up, should send a formal ****ing apology letter? Get a grip.
Nice shift. Erroneous, but nice. What you did WAS NOT A ONS. You knew this woman and she was your alleged BEST friend's ex-wife. There is history here and it is awfully funny how you tried to make this a ONS. So, no, you aren't in the boat of "every man on the planet who has a ONS." No, that is not you.


Quote:
We ****ed, that's it. That's all it was ever going to be. If she thinks anything else then she's an idiot. Sex does not equal a relationship. She let me do whatever I wanted without hesitation, she wasn't a ****ing innocent victim. She wanted sex, that's what she got. She doesn't get a ****ing apology to go with it. What am I suppose to say "Oh, sorry for lying to you. Just wanted to get in your pants. Sorry you were so gullible. Thanks for the sex. -Alex".
You lied to her so, go ahead and keep trying this weird logic. Basically, you wanted sex and NOW she is suddenly the villain. Making her evil may work for you and your wife, but it won't fly here on TAM.
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
 
post #49 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:18 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Satya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,764
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Is this for real? It just elevated to loonytoonsville.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
Satya is offline  
post #50 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:26 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,389
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I didn't stay with her because my wife is more important than she is. I knew my wife would be hurt additionally if I stayed the night. She even asked me if we spent the night together. And yah know, it was better for the other woman to. She quickly found out to only expect sex. Imagine she would have thought there was a higher chance of a relationship had I spent the night.
I will have to read through your whole thread. It sounds like you told your wife? Good job. I was not thinking spend the night, but your original post sounded like you basically fled the room the minute the sex was over.
WorkingWife is offline  
post #51 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:26 PM
Member
 
GusPolinski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TX, USA
Posts: 12,294
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
Last night I told my wife. I was talking to my friend and he mentioned that he had to go meet with his ex-wife the next day (today). I didn't want him to hear it from someone else (his ex-wife), especially after we had just talked, so I told him. I just told him that we hooked up and it was a one time thing. I didn't go into details because honestly it's just going to be he-said, she-said and whose to say that she's even going to tell him. I wouldn't be telling an ex-spouse who I ****ed. He was pissed, more surprised though. He wanted to know how it happened and why I risked my marriage for her. His scraps. He was surprised that she let it go that far but said she always had an attraction towards me, which I never knew. He's still pissed, but I deserve that I suppose.

I had to tell my wife. She needed to hear it from me and I don't want her to feel like everyone knew. She didn't really react the way I was expecting and I know to expect her to get much worse. She might still be in shock. I expected her to get upset, mad at me, want a divorce, storm out, hate me. She thought I was joking at first and said it wasn't funny. When she realized that I was being serious she asked who it was that I slept with. After I told her she became more pissed than I have ever seen her, but not at me... At the other woman. She said she wanted to go see her, was going to "kill" her. She is mad at me for being so "gullible", "falling for a *****'s tricks" and not using protection. She was directly mad at me for a short while, there was some screaming, some crying, a bit of "hitting". But those feelings quickly transferred to the OW.

Last night my wife sent the other woman messages on Facebook. I didn't know about it until this morning.

"Who the hell do you think you are going around screwing another woman's husband? You couldn't keep your own husband so you had to manipulate mine into touching your disgusting body? How many other husbands have you ****ed? Stop being a home-wrecker and get your own husband. No wonder [your ex-husband] left you."

"You better hope that you don't get pregnant or pass any of your nasty diseases off to him. You'll find yourself in court being sued for every whorish penny you have."

The only reply was: "I didn't know he was married. I'm sorry." Followed by my wife continuing.

"Oh SURE, you ****ing *****. You know damn well that we're married. You came to our wedding for **** sake! [Your XH] was the ****ing best man! Don't feed me that crap."

"Of course he's married! He's a great man. A TAKEN man. The only way you can get your hands on someone like him is through manipulation. Just because no man wants you doesn't mean you can take someone else's husband."

"You're worthless. To my husband and every other man you've conned into your nasty ****."

"You know, I'd think that after having been cheated on and left for another woman you'd never want to hurt a woman the way you were hurt. You need **** that badly that you will destroy kids lives? Destroy another woman's life? Straight from MY husbands mouth you weren't even good. The worst sex he's had. Cleary you are a horrible person and [your XH] was right to divorce you. For a while we all felt bad for you, unbelievable."

"Everyone always thought you were bat**** crazy, from the day they met you. They were glad when [your XH] finally tossed you to the curb. You have been an entertaining source of jokes for years, including by [your XH] and [2 friends]."

"No man has wanted you in 6 years? It's because they are smart enough to stay the hell away from you. Get use to being alone and stop being a thieving *****. You want ****? Go to the street corner. Though, since you are so bad in bed you probably won't get paid. Of course, you will suck every **** in this city for free."

"Probably too busy ****ing another husband. Guess it's as close as you'll get to having another husband. Go be a street *****, like all the other people who grew up sucking their dad's **** and ****ing their brother. Yeah, everyone knows."

"You know, you'd think after you grew up ****ing and sucking **** you'd at least be good at it. Or do you save the good stuff for incest?"

How do I get my wife to A) stop before she gets a harassment charge and B) shift the blame to me? The one who is really to blame. She doesn't want to go to MC right now. She's going to wind up being charged with harassment if this keeps up.

There is a part of me that thinks it would be easier to just let the other woman take the blame, the anger, the hate. That isn't fair to her, or my marriage. I am just at fault as much as the other woman is. More, really, because I deceived her. The other woman doesn't owe my wife anything, she didn't promise to be faithful to her. I did. I broke that promise.

My wife sent my friend a message saying, "You sure dodged a bullet. Your ex-wife just ****ed my husband. You have a better taste in women now, might want to relook at your friends too." As of right now we haven't talked since I told him. I need to focus on my wife/marriage right now.

My wife doesn't want me to touch her, and she wants to know every detail of what happened. All week. She wants to know every detail of the sex and how good/bad it was. That seems like self-sabotaging. She doesn't want to go to MC right now but wants me to do IC because I'm "weak" and "easily tempted by *****s". She took the day off work and has been out for a while. She won't call or text me back and I have no idea where she is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I didnít ďpreyĒ on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didnít initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. Sheís always wanted to. SHE ****ed her ex-husbands friend.

Iím not writing her an apology. For what? We arenít a couple, never were. If she read the signals wrong then thatís on her. What do you expect from someone who has been a baron wasteland for over half a decade. People lie all the time to get what they want, donít want to get hurt? Then donít believe someone who might as well be a stranger.

The only woman I care about here is my wife. The other woman is not my problem. Sheís a grown ass woman, she makes her own choices.

Why would I have stopped a wedding between the other woman and my friend? Iím not in their relationship. If they wanted to spend 50K on a wedding that wouldnít last then so be it. Iím not meddling in other peopleís business.
BTW, did you tell your BW that you told your friend's ex that you were divorced?

Of course not.

LOL. "OW" isn't an OW at all. You lied to her and told her you were divorced. This is 100% on you.

Either way, it would seem that the "Alex" character has taken a stark turn toward errant *********gery.

I'd advise the author of this tale to right the ship, lest his (or her) intended audience lose interest.

Ooh! Maybe the betrayed wife character could bang the best friend for a revenge lay! Hell, it ain't like he's above stepping outside his marriage for a bit of side action. Plus he sounds like the type of guy that could get his AP/OW/wife to go along with it. And maybe even join in!

Sorry, didn't mean to jump too far ahead.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
GusPolinski is offline  
post #52 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:42 PM
Member
 
ScottishGirl1998's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Scotland
Posts: 137
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

You obviously didn't tell your wife the full story then, or else she would have known that the other woman thought you were divorced!! The only thing worse than keeping an affair secret is telling your wife but sugar coating the facts to deflect the blame. You say you want her to blame you, but that obviously isn't true or else you would simply tell her that you misled the woman telling her you were divorced, and that is why she had sex with you.

Now that poor woman has been called all the names under the sun and had abuse thrown at her by your wife that she DOES NOT DESERVE.

I suggest you grow a pair and tell your wife the WHOLE STORY, then look for somewhere else to live as I strongly suspect your bags will be getting packed.

~Kayleigh

Life is either a great adventure or nothing - Helen Keller.
ScottishGirl1998 is offline  
post #53 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:45 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,581
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Ugh...
ConanHub is offline  
post #54 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:55 PM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,890
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post


How do I get my wife to A) stop before she gets a harassment charge and B) shift the blame to me? The one who is really to blame. She doesn't want to go to MC right now. She's going to wind up being charged with harassment if this keeps up.

She took the day off work and has been out for a while. She won't call or text me back and I have no idea where she is.
If you really want her to shift the blame onto you, then just tell her that you TOLD this woman that you were divorced. That'll do it.

She's probably visiting an attorneys office. Or at the doctors office getting tested for STDs. If she were to come on here and ask for advice on what to do, that's what we'd tell her.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
tropicalbeachiwish is offline  
post #55 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:56 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,909
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

OP. you screwed up, what will you do to atone? What will you do to leave it a better place rather than a worse one?

uhtred is offline  
post #56 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:01 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,581
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Hey baby I'm single!

Wham bam....

Just kidding! See you never!

Unreal....
ConanHub is offline  
post #57 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:03 PM
TRy
Member
 
TRy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,597
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
So you really think that every man on the planet who has a ONS, a hook up, should send a formal ****ing apology letter? Get a grip. We ****ed, that's it. That's all it was ever going to be. If she thinks anything else then she's an idiot. Sex does not equal a relationship. She let me do whatever I wanted without hesitation, she wasn't a ****ing innocent victim. She wanted sex, that's what she got. She doesn't get a ****ing apology to go with it. What am I suppose to say "Oh, sorry for lying to you. Just wanted to get in your pants. Sorry you were so gullible. Thanks for the sex. -Alex".
The origin of the phrase "jump the shark" comes from a Happy Days episode where the Fonz jumped a shark on waterskis. This was labeled the lowest point of the show. The term is now used in Hollywood to describe a defining moment when you know from now on it will be all downhill and it will never be the same. The above post by the OP was a "jump the shark" moment for this thread.
TRy is offline  
post #58 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:19 PM
Member
 
ScottishGirl1998's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Scotland
Posts: 137
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
So you really think that every man on the planet who has a ONS, a hook up, should send a formal ****ing apology letter? Get a grip. We ****ed, that's it. That's all it was ever going to be. If she thinks anything else then she's an idiot. Sex does not equal a relationship. She let me do whatever I wanted without hesitation, she wasn't a ****ing innocent victim. She wanted sex, that's what she got. She doesn't get a ****ing apology to go with it. What am I suppose to say "Oh, sorry for lying to you. Just wanted to get in your pants. Sorry you were so gullible. Thanks for the sex. -Alex".
Nice. Real nice! That sentence sums up your whole personality for me.

For the record, I wouldn't say she is gullible. You told her you were divorced! That isn't her being gullible, it is you being a manipulative liar for your own gain.

~Kayleigh

Life is either a great adventure or nothing - Helen Keller.
ScottishGirl1998 is offline  
post #59 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:31 PM
Member
 
VladDracul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Southeast USA
Posts: 1,002
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satya View Post
Is this for real?

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
VladDracul is online now  
post #60 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:33 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,304
Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Nope
225985 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Closed Thread

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Found out wife cheated 6 months before proposal newreality1 General Relationship Discussion 30 02-25-2017 07:14 AM
Question about wife and work related friends CanadaDry General Relationship Discussion 113 02-07-2017 12:30 PM
Best Friends vs. Wife JennyinAL General Relationship Discussion 14 01-03-2017 05:04 PM
Repost: My Story, Wife Cheated NiceGuy_Sam1971 Coping with Infidelity 35 06-15-2012 04:25 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome