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post #76 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:50 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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post #77 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 02:44 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

AlexG, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as someone who made lots of excuses but knew they had made a huge mistake. However, the way you allowed your wife to walk all over that poor abused woman and the way you talk about her is disgusting.
In fact you are a disgusting human being, who doesn't deserve a wife. I hope your wife gets to the bottom of this and finds out who you really are.
Your wife should be apologizing to the OW because the OW doesn't deserve any of your wife's anger, she didn't do anything wrong, it is all on you!! You really need serious counselling.
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post #78 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 04:19 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

You got laid with a woman in a vunerable position. You achieved this by telling her you were divorced and making yourself appear single. You seem a little proud of your predator nature. I am not sure why you are posting here. You are probably better off just bragging to your mates.

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post #79 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 05:27 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
Right, because someone who can actually get laid is a troll. Sorry that women actually want to sleep with me. Jesus christ!
Which "me" are these supposed women eager to sleep with? The divorced "me"? The married "me"? The remorseful that you betrayed your wife "me" or the arrogantly proud you can get laid "me"? The "I am going to own up to what I did" and come clean to your wife "me" or the let the innocent other woman take my wife's rage "me"? The "I came here for help" "me" or the defiant "you people do not understand" "me"? I do not believe that the individual portrayed in this thread knows who "me" is and that is deeply disturbing.

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post #80 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 05:36 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

So, you knew all this:

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They have been divorced for 6 years and he is re-married. He left his ex-wife for another woman,

She has been single And not intimate with anyone since their divorce. She has a bad past, which involved rape, molestation and abuse from multiple family members most of her childhood. She has a lot of trouble trusting men that she doesn’t know. It takes a long time to earn her trust and new men are not going to stick around for that.

She was always sitting alone and I felt bad for her. My friend ripped her heart out, stomped on it and ripped it to shreds.


But still did this:

Quote:
That hurt the other woman immensely. I cannot get the image of her facial expression when I walked out and told her I was married, out of my mind. Then I proceeded to say that I felt bad for her and things went to far, making her think it was a pity ****. I mean, it was, in a way.
Not a man, IMO. Vulnerable woman + scumbag with an opportunity = Basically a rapist.

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post #81 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 06:43 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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So, you knew all this:



But still did this:



Not a man, IMO. Vulnerable woman + scumbag with an opportunity = Basically a rapist.
Woah that's a bit harsh!

The guy knows he's done wrong and needs to own it. Yes he's bang out of order the way he treated the OW and his wife but calling him a rapist is WAY too far!

He didn't force the woman to sleep with him. He told her a lie that made her think he was available, he didn't profess undying love or promise her the world.
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post #82 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 06:47 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

"I swear to god, I did not approach that woman with the intention of screwing her (sexually or otherwise)."

I don't not believe this statement. I think you have always had a thing for her. I think you probably never expected an opportunity but you were definitely hunting..........("oh, I am divorced too....what a coincidence.....you must be lonely too........you look great.........etc)

"She was an equal participant."

This would be true if it was not pre-meditated on your side (The lies kinda prove that, whether you accept it...up to you). She might have done it anyway even if she knew you were married....it's not possible to know that.

"I didnít ďpreyĒ on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didnít initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. Sheís always wanted to"

She doesn't owe your wife or friend anything. There might have been a mutual attraction. You crapped all over your own soul bro. I wouldn't be surprised if you do it again now...the damn has been broken. I recommend that you get individual counseling with a view to confessing and apologising to your wife and friend. You could also send an apology for to the other woman for misleading her and inform her of no contact in future.
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post #83 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 07:00 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Woah that's a bit harsh!

The guy knows he's done wrong and needs to own it. Yes he's bang out of order the way he treated the OW and his wife but calling him a rapist is WAY too far!

He didn't force the woman to sleep with him. He told her a lie that made her think he was available, he didn't profess undying love or promise her the world.
Nope. Read his replies. He simply doesn't give a ****. He found a woman, who he knew was vulnerable, alone, feeling unwanted for (at least) 6 years, and knew that the right lies, right words, that pretending to give a d@mn about her would open her legs.

And once he blew his load (probably without protection) he was outtathere, with an "oh BTW, i'm a lying sack of cr@p. A married sack of cr@p. Leaving her there, betrayed. Just a piece of meat that served his purpose.

Last edited by EleGirl; 03-28-2017 at 11:02 AM.
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post #84 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 07:10 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

So, are you going to hide behind your wife's skirts while she believes one version or are you going to tell her that she has the total wrong end of the stick about the OW?

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #85 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 07:22 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Nope. Read his replies. He simply doesn't give a sh*t. He found a woman, who he knew was vulnerable, alone, feeling unwanted for (at least) 6 years, and knew that the right lies, right words, that pretending to give a d@mn about her would open her legs.

And once he blew his load (probably without protection) he was outtathere, with an "oh BTW, i'm a lying sack of cr@p. A married sack of cr@p. Leaving her there, betrayed. Just a piece of meat that served his purpose.
You're spot on about him being a sack of crap for what he's done. A complete A-hole even if he doesn't want to admit it but not a rapist!

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post #86 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 07:38 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
Right, because someone who can actually get laid is a troll. Sorry that women actually want to sleep with me. Jesus christ!
You had to LIE your ass off to get in her pants. That's nothing boast-worthy.

Quote:
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So, are you going to hide behind your wife's skirts while she believes one version or are you going to tell her that she has the total wrong end of the stick about the OW?
Of course he is. He's a weak man, so that's all he is capable of doing.
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post #87 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 08:53 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

"So you really think that every man on the planet who has a ONS, a hook up, should send a formal ****ing apology letter? Get a grip. We ****ed, that's it. That's all it was ever going to be. If she thinks anything else then she's an idiot. Sex does not equal a relationship. She let me do whatever I wanted without hesitation, she wasn't a ****ing innocent victim. She wanted sex, that's what she got. She doesn't get a ****ing apology to go with it. What am I suppose to say "Oh, sorry for lying to you. Just wanted to get in your pants. Sorry you were so gullible. Thanks for the sex. -Alex"."

WOW, yes you should apologize to her as she is not an OW in this case. Obviously, you were not honest with your wife about this or else she wouldn't have so much anger towards this woman. You led her on which is why she mentioned getting together after you returned from the conference. She felt comfortable with you when she has a past of abuse and abandonment. Yet, the shared history and familiarity of you set her at ease enough that she gave you a chance and opened up sexually with you, possibly looking for an emotional connection in the sex as well. Its been 6 years as you stated that she hasn't been with anyone. She's not some tramp from the sounds of it. How long do you think its going to take her now to even try to have a relationship with a man again because of your actions. This isn't a ONS at least not to her it wasn't. You brought this on yourself and you need to own this sh*t. Damn dude be a man and admit that you played her. We can all see it and we are all calling you out on it. The only one not calling you out is your wife because she hasn't be told the truth yet. She cant see it for what it is and she cant see you for what you are. Look at the man you are from your responses. You deceived this woman and your wife yet you call her an idiot? Good luck on the divorce because you're about to feel the ****ing that you gave this woman. Best thing you can do is own what you done and work on yourself so you don't screw anyone else up.
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post #88 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:03 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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You really are something!!! If I said what I wanted to say, damn I would sure get banned!!!

You ****ing lied to her, you ****ing played her, then you never told your friend that you told her you weren't friends with him anymore, then you never told your wife that you told her you weren't married, and now you're all pissed and swearing on here saying she doesn't deserve an apology.

I'm sure she's devastated, after what she's went through in life, and now all you can do is get angry at her because you can't face the ****ty stuff you did.

If you care about your wife at all, you damn well better tell her the truth about what you told the other woman, or she may have an harassment charge against her.

And what happens when she tells your friend that you told her you two were no longer friends?

I am containing myself, but it's damn hard, all I can say man, is you're something else!


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post #89 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:10 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Simply put you played her.

Your strong denial post where you put equal blame on her - after posting how remorseful you are - makes this thread seem not authentic. The posts are 180 degrees apart.


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post #90 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:14 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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As the title suggests, this situation is a crap show.

I have been married to my wife for 10 years, weíre mid-30ís. I donít usually use the term Ďbest friendí but in this posting I will, because if I had to pick one it would be him. I have a friend who I have been very close friends with for 30 years. We were each otherís best man at our weddings, for him, both of his weddings.

My friend was married for 2 years to a woman he has a child with and was with for a total of 8 years. They have been divorced for 6 years and he is re-married. He left his ex-wife for another woman, and despite being a jerk off he does still care about his ex-wife. Especially since they share a child.

His ex-wife and I work in related fields. Three weeks ago there was a 7 day conference/training program that we both attended. I had no idea that she would be there but recognized her immediately. It was awkward in the beginning and we avoided each other. We havenít talked since their divorce.

She has been single since their divorce. She has a bad past, which involved rape, molestation and abuse from multiple family members most of her childhood. She has a lot of trouble trusting men that she doesnít know. It takes a long time to earn her trust and new men are not going to stick around for that.

She was always sitting alone and I felt bad for her. My friend ripped her heart out, stomped on it and ripped it to shreds. He left her for another woman, a Ďnormalí woman, and instantly made a family with her. I sat with her and just tried to get her to talk to me. I stupidly told her that I was divorced. I donít know why I said that, it just quickly flew from my mouth to try and make her feel better. After that I kept sitting with her because I felt like I had to at that point. We went out to lunch a few times, because the food there wasnít great. She was flirting a bit and I let it happen because in my head I was thinking that it was harmless, maybe made her feel better and once we're home we never see each other. I flirted back, along the same thinking that it would be harmless and make her feel better. On the last day we went out to dinner and afterwards I walked her back to her room. Before I left I kissed her and one thing led to another and we had sex. Right before we had sex she told me that she hadnít been intimate with anyone since her ex-husband. Immediately after the sex I realized what I had done to my wife and I left. That hurt the other woman immensely. I cannot get the image of her facial expression when I walked out and told her I was married, out of my mind. Then I proceeded to say that I felt bad for her and things went to far, making her think it was a pity ****. I mean, it was, in a way. Thatís what led to it. She is a gorgeous woman though.

This occurred 3 weeks ago. My wife doesnít know, nor does my friend. My wife is my world. I have never cheated on her before this. We have a good marriage, there are ups and downs of course but Iím happy with her. I donít want to lose my family, my wife and my kids mean everything to me. I donít want to hurt my wife but I betrayed her in the worst possible way. She doesnít suspect anything, if she does she hasnít said anything. I have no idea how to talk to my wife about it, I have never been in this situation before. I donít want to unnecessarily hurt my wife. I am never going to cheat on her again. Should I still tell her? It is probably the biggest mistake of my life. Should I keep it buried and hope my wife never finds out? That seems worse, but it would spare her the pain. I would rather live in pain than fill her with pain to get it off my chest.

Then there is my close friend. He has no idea either. He and his ex-wife donít talk unless itís directly about their child, and even then itís very limited. I donít think she would tell anyone, but who knows really. She was totally humiliated by what I did, I would think that she doesnít want to tell anyone. If this does come out, I donít want to lose a good friend. He has always been against friends getting involved with exís. That relationship may be impossible to repair, just like the other relationships I destroyed.

Now Iím a giant **** that betrayed his wife, betrayed his friend and hurt a really good woman. If I could take it back I would. I donít know how I allowed that situation to happen, and there os no one to blame but myself.

Should I tell my wife? I feel like I should, but what the hell do I know Iím clearly an idiot. If so, how do I tell her and have the best possible chance at salvaging our marriage. Iíd do anything to keep our marriage going. And on the same note, how do I tell my friend that I slept with his ex-wife? And how badly I hurt her in the processÖ

I havenít talked to the other woman since I left her hotel room. Part of me wants to try and make amends with her but that led me to trouble last time and for my wife, I want to cease all contact permanently.

I have never felt so poorly about myself, and didnít know I ever could or would.
If you were such close friends to her ex, how come she didn't know you were married to her? Or did you lie to her and tell her you were divorced?

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