She has been single since their divorce. She has a bad past, which involved rape, molestation and abuse from multiple family members most of her childhood. She has a lot of trouble trusting men that she doesn’t know. It takes a long time to earn her trust and new men are not going to stick around for that.
She was always sitting alone and I felt bad for her. My friend ripped her heart out, stomped on it and ripped it to shreds. He left her for another woman, a ‘normal’ woman, and instantly made a family with her. I sat with her and just tried to get her to talk to me. I stupidly told her that I was divorced. I don’t know why I said that, it just quickly flew from my mouth to try and make her feel better. After that I kept sitting with her because I felt like I had to at that point. We went out to lunch a few times, because the food there wasn’t great. She was flirting a bit and I let it happen because in my head I was thinking that it was harmless, maybe made her feel better and once we're home we never see each other. I flirted back, along the same thinking that it would be harmless and make her feel better. On the last day we went out to dinner and afterwards I walked her back to her room. Before I left I kissed her and one thing led to another and we had sex. Right before we had sex she told me that she hadn’t been intimate with anyone since her ex-husband. Immediately after the sex I realized what I had done to my wife and I left. That hurt the other woman immensely. I cannot get the image of her facial expression when I walked out and told her I was married, out of my mind. Then I proceeded to say that I felt bad for her and things went to far, making her think it was a pity ****. I mean, it was, in a way. That’s what led to it. She is a gorgeous woman though.
If this was for real, what you did wasn't "stupidly tell her you're divorced". It was calculated. And then there's this gem...
I didn’t “prey” on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didn’t initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. She’s always wanted to. SHE ****ed her ex-husbands friend.
I’m not writing her an apology. For what? We aren’t a couple, never were. If she read the signals wrong then that’s on her. What do you expect from someone who has been a baron wasteland for over half a decade. People lie all the time to get what they want, don’t want to get hurt? Then don’t believe someone who might as well be a stranger.
The only woman I care about here is my wife. The other woman is not my problem. She’s a grown ass woman, she makes her own choices.
Why would I have stopped a wedding between the other woman and my friend? I’m not in their relationship. If they wanted to spend 50K on a wedding that wouldn’t last then so be it. I’m not meddling in other people’s business.
When a child is abused horribly by the adults that they trust most, who are supposed to be protecting them and doing right by them, it almost always stunts the child psychologically. This is common knowledge. People who have been abused tend to respond to emotional intimacy with sexual intimacy at very alarming rates and everyone knows this, think back to a girl you know who was raped in her youth, and what happened to her behavior afterwards (especially if she was a virgin). These people are desperately trying to normalize in their heads what was done to them. What you did was--like any predator would--mark the weakest target in a room, then close in to make your move. And this is predation.
Then, to top it off, you don't bother to impress upon you betrayed wife that you lied to this woman, and told her that you were divorced, and turned your wife's ire, and naturally abusive reaction to having what is hers threatened, upon this horribly abused woman who you had preyed upon. An apology wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't even begin to touch on what the right course of action, the honorable course of action would be.
Seriously. If this is real, it's monstrous. And my advice would be that you [redacted to prevent banning]