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post #91 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:40 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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I flirted back, along the same thinking that it would be harmless and make her feel better. On the last day we went out to dinner and afterwards I walked her back to her room. Before I left I kissed her and one thing led to another and we had sex. Right before we had sex she told me that she hadnít been intimate with anyone since her ex-husband.

Immediately after the sex I realized what I had done to my wife and I left.
ROFL.

Anyone ever notice that it's always AFTER they've gotten their rocks off that they 'suddenly' have an epiphany and "realize what they've done to their spouse?"

They seem to be incapable of this all-important 'vision' when they're playing the mating game with the possible affair partner and engaging in the cat and mouse flirting. They seem to be incapable of this all important 'vision' when they're finding more and more excuses to spend time with this person because they're interested in seeing where it's going to lead them and enjoying the thrill of the romance.

And they seem to be incapable of this all-important 'vision' when they purposely cross the physical line and make a sexual pass at said affair person, hoping it lands them in the sack.

Then, and ONLY then, are they suddenly capable or realizing what they've done to their poor, poor spouse.

It's an amazing oddity, isn't it folks?

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post #92 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:48 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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If you were such close friends to her ex, how come she didn't know you were married to her? Or did you lie to her and tell her you were divorced?
Matt, if you look closer at the OP, he wrote this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I sat with her and just tried to get her to talk to me. I stupidly told her that I was divorced.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #93 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 09:51 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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ROFL.

Anyone ever notice that it's always AFTER they've gotten their rocks off that they 'suddenly' have an epiphany and "realize what they've done to their spouse?"

They seem to be incapable of this all-important 'vision' when they're playing the mating game with the possible affair partner and engaging in the cat and mouse flirting. They seem to be incapable of this all important 'vision' when they're finding more and more excuses to spend time with this person because they're interested in seeing where it's going to lead them and enjoying the thrill of the romance.

And they seem to be incapable of this all-important 'vision' when they purposely cross the physical line and make a sexual pass at said affair person, hoping it lands them in the sack.

Then, and ONLY then, are they suddenly capable or realizing what they've done to their poor, poor spouse.

It's an amazing oddity, isn't it folks?


You're projecting a bit here. I haven't read any other threads here where OP made that claim.


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post #94 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 11:03 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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I didnít ďpreyĒ on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didnít initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. Sheís always wanted to. SHE ****ed her ex-husbands friend.

Iím not writing her an apology. For what? We arenít a couple, never were. If she read the signals wrong then thatís on her. What do you expect from someone who has been a baron wasteland for over half a decade. People lie all the time to get what they want, donít want to get hurt? Then donít believe someone who might as well be a stranger.

The only woman I care about here is my wife. The other woman is not my problem. Sheís a grown ass woman, she makes her own choices.

Why would I have stopped a wedding between the other woman and my friend? Iím not in their relationship. If they wanted to spend 50K on a wedding that wouldnít last then so be it. Iím not meddling in other peopleís business.
WoW - stop, just stop - you are so far removed from reality. It is difficult to contain my thoughts from translating here without getting banned when I see blame-shifting like this.
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post #95 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 11:21 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Matt, if you look closer at the OP, he wrote this:
Well, in truth, I already read that.

But I was just making the point to him that there could only be one possible reason why he told her that lie, which was to

Break the trust of a hurting, vulnerable person and then run away from her, laughing to himself about how easy she had been!

And @alexgunn's blameshiffiting is truly horrible and one of the worst things I have seen on TAM in... well, since I first joined.


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post #96 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Not sure about you guys but I'm having a difficult time sympathizing with the Alex character.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #97 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:12 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Hope the ***** was worth it, my man. So gross .
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post #98 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:35 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Getting laid by misrepresenting yourself is easy; the skills needed are 1. be good at lying and 2. prey on a vulnerable target. #1 and #2 are what psychopaths do everyday and they do not inspire pride or envy. BTW, you actually have to have a functioning conscience to realize this; something you do not seem to have, unfortunately.
QFT!!!

AlexG, do you suffer from some form of personality disorder? You are far from normal. I say this in all honesty based on your gross misrepresentation of yourself in your initial post to get us to even talk/post here. You flat out stated that you felt sorry for what you did to OW and of course your wife (fake empathy to gain our sympathy). Now your tune has changed in a dime. You are quite sick indeed. Professional help is of the utmost order in your life.

It would be in their best interest if your wife and children would not stay close to you. You have done plenty of damage already. Commit yourself to a professional hospital( psychiatric facility to be more exact) that can help you with your very disturbing issues. TAM can't help you.

I will pray for you and yours. The sooner your wife figures out just how sick you are, the sooner she will run away from you in the opposite direction. The other woman dodged a bullet with someone like you. I will also pray for her so that she can set your wife straight...straight to seeing you are the one and only responsible for this mess that is.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #99 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:38 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Not sure about you guys but I'm having a difficult time sympathizing with the Alex character.
No sympathy from me now that we can clearly see

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #100 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:54 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife



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post #101 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 01:19 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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You had to LIE your ass off to get in her pants. That's nothing boast-worthy.


Well, him courting this so called ONS for a whole week is nothing boast worthy either. Me thinks once he sleeps with his prey he leaves because he is not boast-worthy in the sack either. So he leaves before he is ridiculed for his performance or lack of it to be more exact.

We know he didn't leave after the act was done with the OW because he was guilt ridden for his poor wife. Why else leave and not enjoy the pleasures of the prey a tad more? Because he knows his limitations.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #102 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 02:01 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Very generally, yes.


I tend to focus on the erratic responses


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post #103 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 02:44 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Not sure about you guys but I'm having a difficult time sympathizing with the Alex character.


Ya think?


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post #104 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 04:24 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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It's called know your environment.
Indeed. He is the ugly product of "this" environment.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #105 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 05:01 PM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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She has been single since their divorce. She has a bad past, which involved rape, molestation and abuse from multiple family members most of her childhood. She has a lot of trouble trusting men that she doesn’t know. It takes a long time to earn her trust and new men are not going to stick around for that.

She was always sitting alone and I felt bad for her. My friend ripped her heart out, stomped on it and ripped it to shreds. He left her for another woman, a ‘normal’ woman, and instantly made a family with her. I sat with her and just tried to get her to talk to me. I stupidly told her that I was divorced. I don’t know why I said that, it just quickly flew from my mouth to try and make her feel better. After that I kept sitting with her because I felt like I had to at that point. We went out to lunch a few times, because the food there wasn’t great. She was flirting a bit and I let it happen because in my head I was thinking that it was harmless, maybe made her feel better and once we're home we never see each other. I flirted back, along the same thinking that it would be harmless and make her feel better. On the last day we went out to dinner and afterwards I walked her back to her room. Before I left I kissed her and one thing led to another and we had sex. Right before we had sex she told me that she hadn’t been intimate with anyone since her ex-husband. Immediately after the sex I realized what I had done to my wife and I left. That hurt the other woman immensely. I cannot get the image of her facial expression when I walked out and told her I was married, out of my mind. Then I proceeded to say that I felt bad for her and things went to far, making her think it was a pity ****. I mean, it was, in a way. That’s what led to it. She is a gorgeous woman though.
If this was for real, what you did wasn't "stupidly tell her you're divorced". It was calculated. And then there's this gem...

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Originally Posted by alexgunn View Post
I didn’t “prey” on her. She was an equal participant. SHE could have said no to lunches or dinner. SHE could have stopped when I kissed her. SHE invited me in, I didn’t initiate that. SHE could have stopped any time between us closing the door and sticking my **** in her. She gladly ****ed me. She’s always wanted to. SHE ****ed her ex-husbands friend.

I’m not writing her an apology. For what? We aren’t a couple, never were. If she read the signals wrong then that’s on her. What do you expect from someone who has been a baron wasteland for over half a decade. People lie all the time to get what they want, don’t want to get hurt? Then don’t believe someone who might as well be a stranger.

The only woman I care about here is my wife. The other woman is not my problem. She’s a grown ass woman, she makes her own choices.

Why would I have stopped a wedding between the other woman and my friend? I’m not in their relationship. If they wanted to spend 50K on a wedding that wouldn’t last then so be it. I’m not meddling in other people’s business.
When a child is abused horribly by the adults that they trust most, who are supposed to be protecting them and doing right by them, it almost always stunts the child psychologically. This is common knowledge. People who have been abused tend to respond to emotional intimacy with sexual intimacy at very alarming rates and everyone knows this, think back to a girl you know who was raped in her youth, and what happened to her behavior afterwards (especially if she was a virgin). These people are desperately trying to normalize in their heads what was done to them. What you did was--like any predator would--mark the weakest target in a room, then close in to make your move. And this is predation.

Then, to top it off, you don't bother to impress upon you betrayed wife that you lied to this woman, and told her that you were divorced, and turned your wife's ire, and naturally abusive reaction to having what is hers threatened, upon this horribly abused woman who you had preyed upon. An apology wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't even begin to touch on what the right course of action, the honorable course of action would be.

Seriously. If this is real, it's monstrous. And my advice would be that you [redacted to prevent banning]
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