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post #121 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 10:58 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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SHE was the one who wanted to see me again.
or so you say.


...and we are to believe you because you are always so honest right?


Come on dude, if she would of really wanted you, your wife's facebook page would have been smokin from all the times she would have been fighting for your prowess in the bedroom. According to your account she didn't right?(insert evil grin here)


Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #122 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:01 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Yes, and she made a decision to have sex with you based on you telling her you were DIVORCED!!
Quoted for emphasis.

This is why we are having an issue with your fallback on her free choice to sleep with you. It was a choice based upon false information.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #123 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Yes, and she made a decision to have sex with you based on you telling her you were DIVORCED!!

BTW, is your wife still harassing her or have you been a man and told her the truth yet?
Well I might be divorced in the near future so it wasn't that far from a lie.
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post #124 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Quoted for emphasis.

This is why we are having an issue with your fallback on her free choice to sleep with you. It was a choice based upon false information.
People get false information all the time! For everything in life. We didn't sign a pre-coitus contract. She never once asked about my wife. I said I was divorced once and it never came up again.
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post #125 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:11 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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The more I think about it, why would I tell her that? She knows that I cheated, she knows then when, where and who. She doesn't need to know more than that. If she wants to be angry at someone other than me than so be it. That is better for my marriage. My marriage is what is important to me not getting consumed in the details. It's not like I'm sitting over here in paradise. My wife hates me, she thinks I'm a moron. She won't touch me. She wants to leave for some time away but doesn't trust me to leave me here alone. So she stays in this house but I get the silent treatment and can't get closer than 20ft to her. She sleeps in the guest room and locks the door. She told her friends and family. She called my boss and asked for my work schedule telling him she needed it because I cheated and she didn't trust me. My friends are giving me the cold shoulder. Happy? My wife knows. She doesn't need to know every last word that I exchanged.
Alex, what were you expecting, exactly?

It's called a fallout for a reason. Now is when you eat the humble pie and work to gain her trust back. What's broken in 5 seconds takes 2-5 years to repair. But adjusting R to your designed comfort level (keeping the truth of what you told the OW from your wife) is not a good approach IMO. It means you're not ready to be fully transparent.

Did you say you have kids? What if your daughter was in the same situation as the OW, and she came to you and told you what happened? You'd be so furious for her I bet, you'd want to rip the guy a new one.

It's your choice, your life, your marriage, and I wish you well.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #126 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:12 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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We haven't ****ing spoken in YEARS. When she got divorced her EX HUSBANDS FRIENDS including myself and my wife where OUT OF HER LIFE. She might as well be a stranger to me. You're supposed to feel bad for everyone you have a ONS with? For everyone you didn't want to date? I better buy a large notebook and start writing some letters then.
Dude. Stop. Think.

This was not a complete stranger to you. So "she might as well have been a complete stranger to me" is a complete fabrication you are erecting to defend yourself. You are defending yourself because you know that you did something wrong and you are having problems accepting the criticism.

This is a girl who you knew was horribly abused by people close to her. And you took advantage. You lied to her about your marital status. You knew that she wasn't into ONS, and you didn't bother to be up front about that. Then you pulled the rug out from under her once you got your rocks off. We're not talking about you being at a bar, and picking up some random floozie who you have not met, and know nothing about, and is obviously out looking for the same thing you are.

Let me give you an analogy. I went to school with a girl who was sexually abused. She was raped by her best friends father. This permanently affected her behavior and her brain. It was obvious just watching how she started behaving when she came back to school afterwards. We're FB friends--so absolutely no contact since HS--and last I saw (a few years ago) she was married. If I ran into her, and she were divorced, what I wouldn't do is try to get into her pants, because I know that she is still a wounded kid. The brain damage from CSA is serious. It's well known. It would be like taking advantage of a child.

You can't undo what you've done. And you know the damage was done, go back and read your first post. Here, I'll quote it:

Quote:
That hurt the other woman immensely. I cannot get the image of her facial expression when I walked out and told her I was married, out of my mind. Then I proceeded to say that I felt bad for her and things went to far, making her think it was a pity ****. I mean, it was, in a way. That’s what led to it. She is a gorgeous woman though.
Stop running from your monstrous behavior, stop blame shifting, take some responsibility, and go get some serious help.
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post #127 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:15 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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People get false information all the time! For everything in life. We didn't sign a pre-coitus contract. She never once asked about my wife. I said I was divorced once and it never came up again.
What else was there to ask? You said you're single.
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post #128 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:16 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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People get false information all the time! For everything in life. We didn't sign a pre-coitus contract. She never once asked about my wife. I said I was divorced once and it never came up again.


Just keep digging yourself deeper in that hole man with those ridiculous excuses that excuse nothing. As to your wife changing her tune on you; well we call that getting YOUR just desserts. I hope she figures out a more permanent solution to her problems real soon and a barracuda lawyer helps her along the way. A WS that has no empathy, remorse, and continues to deceive his BS shouldn't be married at all.


Do you at least make a decent living and have at least assets worth fighting for? Let us know please, it would be an interesting read.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #129 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:19 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

Folks, expecting someone with drag scars on his knuckles to somehow be capable of either empathy or accountability isn't going to lead to anything other than a whole lot of entertainment for all of us.

So, by all means, keep it up.

@alexgunn, has your wife started sleeping around yet? I only ask because she strikes me as the kind of gal that might be shopping around for a revenge lay.

Hell, maybe a few of them.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #130 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:34 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Well I might be divorced in the near future so it wasn't that far from a lie.
Yeah buddy, whatever you say.

Are you a politician by any chance? Because you're damn good at deflecting blame and avoiding answering direct questions!!


~Kayleigh

Life is either a great adventure or nothing - Helen Keller.
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post #131 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:38 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

*sets table with fine china and linen. Has a very comfy chair placed at head of table. Brings fresh hot "humble pie" and places it on table*

PLEASE .... help yourself to a BIG piece ... and feel free to eat as much as you want!!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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post #132 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:39 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Well I might be divorced in the near future so it wasn't that far from a lie.
It wasn't a lie, it was prophecy!
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post #133 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:40 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Originally Posted by dianaelaine59 View Post
*sets table with fine china and linen. Has a very comfy chair placed at head of table. Brings fresh hot "humble pie" and places it on table*

PLEASE .... help yourself to a BIG piece ... and feel free to eat as much as you want!!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Lets hope he doesn't choke on it!!

~Kayleigh

Life is either a great adventure or nothing - Helen Keller.
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post #134 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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Alex, what were you expecting, exactly?

It's called a fallout for a reason. Now is when you eat the humble pie and work to gain her trust back. What's broken in 5 seconds takes 2-5 years to repair. But adjusting R to your designed comfort level (keeping the truth of what you told the OW from your wife) is not a good approach IMO. It means you're not ready to be fully transparent.

Did you say you have kids? What if your daughter was in the same situation as the OW, and she came to you and told you what happened? You'd be so furious for her I bet, you'd want to rip the guy a new one.

It's your choice, your life, your marriage, and I wish you well.
I knew my wife would be hurt and unhappy about it. That's why I debated not telling her at all. It's not going to happen again. My wife wants me to stop going on business trips, fine. My wife wants me to stop going out with friends, that's not going to be hard now. My wife wants me to get an STD test, fine.

The other woman is not totally innocent here. Ok fine sure she thought I was single. HOWEVER, the knew I was friends with her exhusband. Yes I said we were not close anymore but I did not say we weren't friends at all and she knew I was his closet friend. She got divorced, and ****ed the best man. She knew I was married at some point and to some degree knew my wife. They aren't friends, never have been but still she knew who I was married to and came to our wedding. We didn't use a condom and she went along with it. She was ok doing things during a ONS/first hook up that most other women are not. She made stupid choices as well. She could **** up her whole family dynamic as well.

Neither of my daughters, or son, are going to be talking to me about who they are sleeping with. If you sleep around you can get burned.
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post #135 of 207 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:42 AM
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Re: I cheated on my wife with my best friends ex-wife

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has your wife started sleeping around yet? I only ask because she strikes me as the kind of gal that might be shopping around for a revenge lay.
If he reported his old lady's reaction accurately, she definitely sounds like the the type that would want to even the score. And in my opinion, what would give her better mileage than to target and score with the best friend.

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
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