Heartless Cheating Wife - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:07 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
When I was single I'd meet most of my potential girlfriends on the dating websites. Many of them were "married but separated and divorcing".

So I was in effect "an affair partner". Who knows maybe the poor guy was home thinking nothing was wrong, and here I am thinking she's ripe for the picking because her marriage is as good as over other than the slow legal process.

Does that mean I should get beat up or threatened?

I don't think so.
Mack visited his house and threw his wedding ring on the loser's front lawn. I'm reasonably certain that he cannot plead ignorance.


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post #137 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:15 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
When I was single I'd meet most of my potential girlfriends on the dating websites. Many of them were "married but separated and divorcing".

So I was in effect "an affair partner". Who knows maybe the poor guy was home thinking nothing was wrong, and here I am thinking she's ripe for the picking because her marriage is as good as over other than the slow legal process.

Does that mean I should get beat up or threatened?

I don't think so.
Straw man argument.... OP's situation is NOTHING like that.

And yeah, I would never date a person who's divorce wasn't final.

Why the hell would you want to get sucked into that kind of drama?

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #138 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:18 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
When I was single I'd meet most of my potential girlfriends on the dating websites. Many of them were "married but separated and divorcing".

So I was in effect "an affair partner". Who knows maybe the poor guy was home thinking nothing was wrong, and here I am thinking she's ripe for the picking because her marriage is as good as over other than the slow legal process.

Does that mean I should get beat up or threatened?

I don't think so.
Opinions vary ...

You were playing a high stakes game betting that the "married but separated and divorcing" woman was being truthful with you and her H felt the same way. Many a "ass whoppin" was given/taken over much less.
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post #139 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:21 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by MyRevelation View Post
Opinions vary ...

You were playing a high stakes game betting that the "married but separated and divorcing" woman was being truthful with you and her H felt the same way. Many a "ass whoppin" was given/taken over much less.
That's true but not really relevant to what we were talking about, which was about intent and responsibility of the other man to determine the state of a woman's marriage when he's banging her. It's not always that the guy is into stealing women away from their husbands or at the very least doesn't give a crap about the guy. He could have been led to believe anything.
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post #140 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:22 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Straw man argument.... OP's situation is NOTHING like that.

And yeah, I would never date a person who's divorce wasn't final.

Why the hell would you want to get sucked into that kind of drama?
Because there's a lot of hot, separated women on the dating sites. Why wait what could be years for a divorce to be final and let some other guy get there first?

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Mack visited his house and threw his wedding ring on the loser's front lawn. I'm reasonably certain that he cannot plead ignorance.
I don't know the specifics, that sounds like it was long after the affair started.

If the guy was aware that the husband was being duped then it's not the situation I'm talking about. Obviously.
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post #141 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:33 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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That's true but not really relevant to what we were talking about, which was about intent and responsibility of the other man to determine the state of a woman's marriage when he's banging her. It's not always that the guy is into stealing women away from their husbands or at the very least doesn't give a crap about the guy. He could have been led to believe anything.
I am definitely NOT in the "no dating while legally married camp". I'm a firm believer in being free to date as soon as you KNOW its over ... the final D decree is just a governmental formality validating to the world what I already KNEW. However, whatever the W believes/feels may not be the same as what her H believes/feels and you are putting yourself at risk by only taking HER word for it, and it doesn't matter one bit to a pissed off BH what you think.

Now, back to Mack's situation and its own fact set, the AP now has ample warning that he has crossed the line with the BH ... he can either remove himself from the drama or accept the consequences of his own actions.
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post #142 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:43 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Now, back to Mack's situation and its own fact set, the AP now has ample warning that he has crossed the line with the BH ... he can either remove himself from the drama or accept the consequences of his own actions.
That's fair.
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post #143 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 03:49 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Now, back to Mack's situation and its own fact set, the AP now has ample warning that he has crossed the line with the BH ... he can either remove himself from the drama or accept the consequences of his own actions.
I've been following this story. They are getting divorced so why should the affair partner remove himself?

She's going to be single shortly and they can continue their relationship unfettered.
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post #144 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 06:23 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Changed my plans. Plane leaves fo vegas at 3:10 my time . 4 days at the Venetian
Outstanding job, take the next few days and unplug, enjoy, get refreshed. Let us know how things went in Vegas. There is still plenty of crazy still ahead. You will still have good days and bad days ahead, that is normal. Still you are far ahead of most folks. Enjoy!
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post #145 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 10:02 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

Affair partners are pieces of ****, just like the cheaters themselves. Of course though the cheater is the one at fault, but the affair partner is also a ****ty human being, ones that are aware the spouse is married anyway. So many single women/men in the world so really theres no excuse. But think about it like this, two pieces of **** are now together so it saves another innocent person the heartbreak. I am in the anger state as well mack. My d-day is very recent. Now is the time to be cold blooded and FIGHT. You are doing a great job so far, better than I was.

The guy is not worth anything, neither is your wife. She is using him to play off her own insecurities because she is not an honest or caring person. She really isn't worth ****. There are much better, hotter, kinder, caring women aren't there, think of this as a favor she is doing for you. She has shown you who she is, believe her. The more pieces of **** that are together (like your wife and AP) the more innocent and loyal spouses have the chance to be together and not have to deal with this bull**** anymore.

**** cheaters and **** affair partners and saying anything else is laughable. These types of disgusting trash deserve each other. The only thing good affair partners. And **** that fog bull****, cheaters allow themselves to be put into the "fog" before they are even having an affair. People like my wife and yours are a piece of ****, she made it so I will probably never trust a woman again like I used to do her, but maybe that is a good thing. Now I'll have my guard up just so I don't deal with this crap again. I truly am thinking this happening to us is just a blessing in disguise.

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post #146 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 08:50 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
Because there's a lot of hot, separated women on the dating sites. Why wait what could be years for a divorce to be final and let some other guy get there first?
Because, those so called married/separated/almost divorced ladies may still have mates, and when those mates find out about who boned their SO, they are not going to go postal on the wife (maybe the wife too), males are territorial, and consequently, he is going to seek out the penis that invaded his ground, and slice it off at the root. You may feel that you should be blameless, after all, she said she was divorced or separated or etc etc etc, but that won't be a great compensation when they are trying to sew your dead d*** back onto your body.
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post #147 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 09:28 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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I've been following this story. They are getting divorced so why should the affair partner remove himself?

She's going to be single shortly and they can continue their relationship unfettered.
1st point, I agree with dude (and you, I suppose) that the OM should hang in there. Let the 2 POS have each other, it keeps them from screwing up two other peoples lives.

However, 2nd point, OM stole something from Mack ... doesn't matter that WW gave it to him ... it wasn't hers to give as she'd already vowed it to Mack ... so OM owes Mack restitution ... doesn't matter whether Mack collects that restitution now, later or never ... the debt remains and IMHO there is no statute of limitations on that type of debt. Regardless of how all this plays out ... OM will owe this debt in perpetuity until Mack either waives it or collects it to his satisfaction.
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post #148 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 11:18 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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We have been married for 8 years, together for 20. I'm 47 she is 42. We were both married before and each have a grown child from our previous marriages (Ages 23 & 24). We also have 2 children together, 3 & 13.
Such an odd history. She was 22 years old when you started the relationship {you met sometime prior to that?} and you each had a 3 or a 4 year old child and you were both previously married. Then you didn't get married yourselves for 12 years after that despite having a child together 7 years into the relationship. You were 39 years old when you got married and you each had children from previous relationships, why no pre-nup?

Did your relationship/marriage begin as an affair {on one or both sides} and/or you've been through this drill before?

I wish I could say everything in one word. I hate all the things that can happen between the beginning of a sentence and the end. ~ Leonard Cohen
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post #149 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:17 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Because there's a lot of hot, separated women on the dating sites. Why wait what could be years for a divorce to be final and let some other guy get there first?
Because... drama?
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post #150 of 164 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:41 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

After 28 years of marriage and two kids I went thru similar. Wife's "mid-life" crisis and old high school flame from high school secretly met weekly while I was at work supporting family and doing what I always did. I likewise noticed an increase in sex and her desire. Come to find out it was from her getting sexually aroused while texting, face-booking, secret conversations that she had sex with me. Once the emotional affair turned into sexual affair, that all stopped. She became distant and I got the "I love you, just not in love with you anymore". We went to MC for 9 months and if the MC was critical of me all was good, but if he/she was critical of wife she wanted no more MC sessions. We separated and continued once a week MC thinking this would help. It only freed her up to be footloose and fancy free. Brokenhearted I recluse d myself from everyone except our two boys and work. I likewise found great therapy in going to gym daily. Always worked out 2 times a week, but now did it daily and really got after it. Toned up quickly. After being told from a couple of mutual friends what they were aware was going on and didn't want me to be played anymore, I filed for divorce. I own my own business and the divorce was very expensive but all she could get was half and i still got to keep half as well. Now 7 years later, I have remarried, rebuilt my life and have a wife now that completely adores me and life is good. The first 6 months is the hardest. You have to surround yourself with your kids, your friends and take care of you. Totally ignore and totally let her do whatever, whenever and cut the cancer out of your life. Don't bad mouth her in front of kids. Trust me, there are plenty of awesome women out there that have been hurt and want and need good men in their lives too. 5 years from now, it will all be better than you ever imagined. Good luck and take care of you.
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