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post #16 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:48 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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I live in NY.
It is just a f-ing slap in the face. I cannot fathom disregarding someones feelings as she is doing. It is mind blowing

She would love to live in the house and keep this charade going for 5 more years (she has said this). And i was more than willing to do mediation which would've given her at least some of that.

At this point I am going to file and let the chips fall where they may.

I can always make more money; I can never buy more time.
Get filed for divorce, you can mediation still if you both choose to at a later time. NY divorce takes forever generally so the quicker you get in the system the better off you will be.


Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday
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post #17 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

[QUOTheE=Count Mack;17595401]I have been working out, hired a trainer in January, 3 times a week, i like it. The best is probably the boxing class i take twice a week.for those out there who haven't tried it you should.
nothing better than punching someone and not getting clipped for it[/QUOTE]

Hell yes!!!!!!


Is her other man married?
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post #18 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

No, he is doivorced
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post #19 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:46 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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the crying **** in the house is over, however i need to control my anger because she appears to like it. The wedding ring has been gone for 2.5 months, i threw it in the Dbags front yard when i caught her there in January.
If i can control the anger in front of her and be indifferent i think i can escape.

I do not want to reconcile ever with her, just need to get to a place where I can co parent with her.

I believe if i do whats right for me than it will be right for my kids also
Good for you! You will not have any regrets ending this. The only thing I would suggest is you tell her to get the **** out of your house...whether NOW or with a time limit, 1o days maybe. Then throw all her **** out the door.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #20 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:46 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

CM,

Check the divorce laws in NY state again. If I'm not mistaking, adultery is grounds for an at-fault divorce there, but adultery, unfortunately, doesn't affect alimony/spousal support. What I think it does do, however, is accelerate the divorce, and therefore minimizes the necessary separation period. Plus, it her and his names go in the public record, which is worth a little, as well.
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post #21 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

Unfortunately there is no way to force her out of the house without getting arrested. her name is on the deed along with mine. if she was a decent human being she would just leave, but she isn't and won't.
If i filed for Adultery she would try and defend which would cost more $. I would rather just do the no-fault. there is no waiting period if i file under that clause, just the amount of time it takes to work the the distribution of assets. **** her i dont want to drag this out, im going to move on as fast as i possibly can
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post #22 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:53 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

Did you expose to everyone?

Sadly women like you wife are pretty common now a days. Your marriage is dead, you wife is an *******. Put her out to pasture and get the best deal you can get. Expose her for what she is and move on she has.

Tell her family and her kids. Don't let her have the fairy tale.
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post #23 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:57 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

you need to do 180 as others said.
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post #24 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

I don't want to be a gossip and tell everyone. I just tell people that I know will tell everyone else. My and her whole family knows, our 2 older kids know (23&24). Selected friends and loudmouths. wont take long
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post #25 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

And i am telling myself repeatedly that the women in my house is not wife, a stranger has replaced her. my wife is gone, dead, whatever. the women there at the house is no one. a babysitter, i will treat her accordingly

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post #26 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:04 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

hope the grown up two kids are on your side. boob jobs etc in 40s - replete with affairs and divorces. she was getting ready to stray as early as when she wanted plastic
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post #27 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:06 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Did you expose to everyone?

Sadly women like you wife are pretty common now a days. Your marriage is dead, you wife is an *******. Put her out to pasture and get the best deal you can get. Expose her for what she is and move on she has.

Tell her family and her kids. Don't let her have the fairy tale.
If he exposes, she will go ballistic and he'll end up in an expensive and highly litigated court battle which he will lose.

There is zero point in exposing if he's divorcing anyway.

BTW I agree that going the nofault route and trying to get this done by mediation is your best course of action at this time.

Consider seeing a mediator before either one of you get caught up in the attorney trap from which there is usually no escape until most of your money has been spent on legal fees with nothing to show for it.

Other than divorce related matters and matters related to the children or whatever is necessary to maintain the home, do not speak to her about anything. Absolutely no conversations of a personal nature.

Consider moving out and getting your own place. Contrary to what people may think it does not mean you are "abandoning" her and it doesn't give her any more legal standing, but it does get you out of a bad situation. Maybe make it part of the mediation agreement. She'll get occupancy of the house and custody anyway, unless she agrees otherwise.
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post #28 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

She can go as ballistic as she wants. i hope her head (and boobs) explode. I already retained an attorney. $10k. even if we can pull off the mediation i want him looking out for me. I do not want an adversarial divorce but she is a lying sack of **** so i will not take my chances on mediation alone.
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post #29 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:17 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

The anger is what is making you take action (anger is necessary). Your only mistake is getting nasty in front of her. Don't do that anymore. Fake indifference til you feel it. Indifference is the opposite of love, hate/anger is not what she needs to witness from you, but what propels you to get rid of her nasty, cheating ass!

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #30 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:19 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

As a babysitter, you may want to pay her accordingly. For the time being, take over the bill paying and grocery shopping, and cut that $550/week down to something along the lines of $200 per. Unfortunately many WWs will take the money you are giving and spending it on themselves, or the affair partner, anyway. So, take over that responsibility. Consider taking away her vehicle if it is in your name. She can use public transportation, or taxis, from her salary as a babysitter. If the kids need to be taken somewhere, you either do it, or arrange others to do it for you. Calmly, yet stoically, treat your relationship like an employment contract, you write the terms of that contract, and don't tell her the terms. This is about you now. As an ancillary, this may help get her out of the house.
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