Re: Heartless Cheating Wife
Count Mack, sorry that you find yourself in a place like this.
It seems to me that if you can carry on harnessing your anger, then you will get through this in the best possible way. Carry on using it to fuel the changes you need to make. Don't be afraid to share the most hurtful things with others as you have been doing on TAM - it is a bit like lancing a boil, it hurts, but needs to be done. And it makes healing a lot easier.
Work on distancing yourself from your wife. As much as you can, carefully and thoroughly cut her out of your life like a dead branch that no longer serves any purpose. And, no matter how much she tries to damage you to demonstrate her power over you, do not sink to her level. Do not do anything that is not in line with your own values - the damage that she has done to you is great, but if you allow her to warp who you are, then she will have won. You need to keep your kids' best interests at heart - one day, they will see (and judge) the difference between your wife's behaviour and yours very clearly.
Eventually she will be nothing more to you than a weak person that you once cared about, long ago. Imagine looking at her and feeling nothing, except perhaps mild pity. And gladness that she is no longer your wife.
(Referencing other advice on this thread, I would not recommend harassing the OM or your wife in any way - you are in the right. Your wife has broken her wedding vows and is behaving in a manipulative and deceitful manner. Why should you give her any legal points by acting in a way that could be deemed illegal or threatening?)
Again - so sorry you are here.
“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”
― C.S. Lewis