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post #61 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:34 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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post #62 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:42 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Originally Posted by Count Mack View Post
Just had dinner with a friend. We haven't hung out in 5 or so years but have been friends for 25. During the course of dinner he reminded me of what a badass i used to be and how i would've handled this situation 25 yrs ago. It was eye opening. How did i as man become such a passive piece of ****? 25 yrs ago i would've beaten this AP into a comma and felt no regret. What have we done to ourselves? We forgot we are men! I will no longer take this ****. I am going to disassemble this piece of ****s life into a million pcs. I may have resources others may not but i am going to maake it my mission that regrets this. Not that this is not totally my WW's fault but he is a willing participant and i will no longer stand by and be disrespected. I will not allow that ever again! Tomorrow is a new day and i am going to own all of it. God help them all
Better get your head on straight. Other man is not the problem he was just taking what your wife was giving.

You get arrested thrown in jail you lose all custody of your kids, etc, etc etc. get really screwed in the divorce etc, etc

Being stupid at this time is the worse thing you Can do. Go dark with the stbxw and move on. Make sure she's knows at this time she's meaningless to you. That's will hurt he ore than anything.
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post #63 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:49 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

Can I just say, that I find it utterly abhorrent that she is "entitled" to a dime of alimony. In cases like this, she should get nothing. Luckily in Australia, we don't have alimony.

Anyhow, OP I'm so sorry that you've found yourself in this position, I truly wish you the best and hope the divorce is smooth and swift.

I also would advise you to completely separate your finances. File for legal separation - if you have a joint bank account, remove half the funds and deposit into a new account in your name only. Have your salary paid into your account only, and have your wife's access to any of your bank accounts and credit cards removed immediately. You take over the bills and grocery shopping, give her $100 a week PIN money and she can go to hell.
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post #64 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:51 PM Thread Starter
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Im smarter than that. No jail no courts. I am taking back myself from this passive just move on bs. Karma is a ***** and its coming
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post #65 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:53 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

I'm not sure about state laws but even with some alimony is in question if there is adultery involved.
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post #66 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:10 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

In NY state, unfortunately, adultery is not a reason to for a judge to adjust, or cancel, alimony. In other states, such as Georgia and Texas, alimony can be reduced, or eliminated, altogether, if you have proof. NY state law in this regard blows, IMO.
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post #67 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:25 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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In NY state, unfortunately, adultery is not a reason to for a judge to adjust, or cancel, alimony. In other states, such as Georgia and Texas, alimony can be reduced, or eliminated, altogether, if you have proof. NY state law in this regard blows, IMO.
Texas has no alimony period, but my bad ass lawyer got me spousal support for 10 years after the divorce! He was worth every penny I spent on him.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #68 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:28 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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i am going to make it my mission that regrets this. Not that this is not totally my WW's fault but he is a willing participant and i will no longer stand by and be disrespected. I will not allow that ever again! Tomorrow is a new day and i am going to own all of it. God help them all
Nice knowing ya.
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post #69 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:40 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

what ever you do to POSOM make it within legal limits
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post #70 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:14 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Im smarter than that. No jail no courts. I am taking back myself from this passive just move on bs. Karma is a ***** and its coming
I'd give you some advice , but there is none to give. You are nailing this.Textbook handling of your situation. Stay clean and keep putting those nails in their coffin. You deserve better than her, and he did what he did knowing full well who you were. Stick it to both of them as hard as you feel you need to, just make sure you suffer no repercussions from it .

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post #71 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:28 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

Karma bus rarely misses.
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post #72 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 11:15 PM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Im smarter than that. No jail no courts. I am taking back myself from this passive just move on bs. Karma is a ***** and its coming
I hope so. A friend's son did 40 days in the slammer for "confronting" his estranged wife and her boyfriend. He'll spend the next two years wearing an ankle bracelet and two after that on supervised probation, one year if his behavior is good.

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
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post #73 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:46 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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You are light years ahead of most people in your situation as her super selfish behavior has allowed you to see her for what she truly is and not tempted to false reconcile for 2-3 years only to get where you are today. You have protected your finances and legal status, which again puts you way ahead of the game. You also know what she is going to do to get her way and that is to bait you into an argument and tempt you to do something stupid. DON'T let her do that to you, have a plan of how to disengage. I found that the more calm I became the more upset my ex became and I gained the upper hand. Remember that you are going to go through a plethora of emotion and will have good days and bad days. You will have days that you lament the relationship that you once had with her. Those days will return in time, just not with her. Keep going with the exercise routine, it will help with the stress and make a happier you. Set days for just you and the kids, this will ease them into the date when the family will disband. Don't get to sentimental on the house, it is a business decision, if it make sense then keep it, if not then sell it. Hang tough you are headed on the right course.

Because he has gotten angry and stayed angry.

Anger is maligned in our society but there is a reason we humans evolved to have it. Infidelity is one time where it must be harvested and funneled.

It allows action, inspires confidence and removes fears.

----
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post #74 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:52 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

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Just had dinner with a friend. We haven't hung out in 5 or so years but have been friends for 25. During the course of dinner he reminded me of what a badass i used to be and how i would've handled this situation 25 yrs ago. It was eye opening. How did i as man become such a passive piece of ****? 25 yrs ago i would've beaten this AP into a comma and felt no regret. What have we done to ourselves? We forgot we are men! I will no longer take this ****. I am going to disassemble this piece of ****s life into a million pcs. I may have resources others may not but i am going to make it my mission that regrets this. Not that this is not totally my WW's fault but he is a willing participant and i will no longer stand by and be disrespected. I will not allow that ever again! Tomorrow is a new day and i am going to own all of it. God help them all


I agree with this as all. Many say the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Well I agree but at the same time there is one invariable fact - you don't **** with me. This dude thinks so little of you that he lied to your face and then continued to do it. Bet he had a nice giggle about that to himself.

I recently helped someone completely, utterly and legally destroy a OM. Like his life is now effectively over (lost wife and job). It was a blast. Karma sucks.

Start by finding out everything about him. Everything. Don't rock the boat at this time. I spent six months helping research this other guy. Keep one document of everything you know about him. With mine, I was able to get a key piece of information by catfishing his best friend's wife....so when I say get everything...get everything. He has something to hide.

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post #75 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 06:52 AM
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Re: Heartless Cheating Wife

CM, what are you planning to do? I hope nothing illegal or nothing that will cause trouble for you, you do not need that right now. It is good to have found your cajones but don't be rash.
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