Re: Moving on with his girlfriend whilst still living in the married home
I know that I will get roasted for this response but hey, such is life..
I can completely understand that this hurts but...
Is he doing anything wrong?
To be clear, it was absolutely wrong to have an affair but if the decision to divorce has already been made than the fact that he is still seeing somebody should be irrelevant as his marriage with you is over.
Yes, he is morally bankrupt for having the affair but if your relationship is done and your just waiting for the paperwork than you should both be moving on with your lives, including you. You need to detach any and all emotional connection with him. It sucks that he has moved on so quickly (moved on while he was still in an active marriage) but he has. Wallowing in misery because he is happy isn't going to get you anywhere in your healing.
I would suggest a respectful conversation that should go something along these lines;
STBXH, I don't agree with what you are doing but as our relationship is over it is not my business. What is my business and in both of our best interest is making sure we maintain a healthy co habitation while we deal with this for the benefit of our children. We need to be cognizant of what they see and pick up on in order to minimize any emotional damage to them. For that reason I am asking for their benefit and the benefit of a peaceful cohabitation while we wait for the D, please keep your relationship to being as discrete around your family as possible. Rubbing our nose in your new relationship will hurt your children and create unneeded conflict in our home. I hope you can see the need for this and we can continue to move forward in the best interest of our kids.
If he keeps to these conditions than you should at least be able to minimize the pain.
Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.