In the two hours since I last posted, I have been let go at my job. My depression surrounding this **** mess for the past few months had caused an irreparable downhill slide at work. There is no recovering from this.
You have become your own worst enemy. No, you cannot control the actions of another person- namely your wife- who has made decisions in her own best interest that has caused you harm, however you do have much more control over your own actions.
Your marriage is probably over but that doesn't mean your life is over, unless you let it get to you. There's help for staggering overwhelming depression- namely medications and counseling. Get the help you need before you slide any further, you need to lose the defeatest victim attitude that there is no recovering- because there is a way out if you start taking steps in the right direction.