Re: lingering questions in my mind
i just had a long, deep sleep. it's been a while since i had a good rest. geez, i'd prefer not to wake-up anymore.
i discovered the affair when i saw a picture of them together and some sms from the guy on her smartfone (the admission came much later). i believe he's hotel staff because he's in uniform.
i already tried calling the hotel management a few months back, but they're not interested in assisting nor helping me. they told me to go in personally and file a formal complaint (it's in france, for pete's sake!). i guess those f*ckers tolerate such behaviours from their staff.
sorry guys if i seem to be incoherent, my mind is really messed-up.
yes, i suspect that's what it means when she said "...nothing good is coming out of the affair, and the expectations were not met..." - she fantasized about them living together. after repeatedly letting the guy use her for senseless sex, she was treated the same - as a friend or buddy. she was expecting the guy to fall in love and run away with her. i already asked her point-blank if she was in love with the guy, but she adamantly insist that "...she cannot admit to something she didn't feel during the affair..." . she even said that it was actually the guy who was "getting serious" by being over-protective and acting like a real boyfriend whenever they're alone together, and comparing her to his wife...it's really confusing - the guy is already "getting serious", and yet she says "nothing good was coming out of it...her expectations were not met..." ???
about the kid, i cannot comment on that yet. it didn't enter my mind. i've grown to love "my son" as my own. you got me speechless for a moment with that thought. gosh, what the hell is this mess!?
yes, that's one of the biggest reasons i'm having nightmares - i somehow want to find a way to fix the situation for the sake of the kid, but i know in my heart that i'll never trust her again.
i can't understand myself as to why i want to have answers even though at the back of my mind i'll never find the whole truth. i just want to drop it, but it keeps on bugging me all the time. i cannot have peace of mind if those questions are left hanging. perhaps i want to know how deeply (emotionally and physically) involved my wife is??? i know her answers are suspicious because of conflicting statements and she's a confirmed liar. that's why i guess i'm just willing to settle for rational opinions from complete strangers for there lingering questions in my mind.
oh yes, she also said one time that "she also really got hurt" with what happened...perhaps with what she has done to herself, to us...or perhaps she got hurt the affair didn't work-out after she sacrificed everything for him. i don't know...what do you think??