How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so..... - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:28 AM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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I don't know that I can explain to you the farm side if you don't know how farming is. For various reasons we are where we are at right now and I said NETS the most not makes the most. I don't want to get hung up on farm financial. As far as the pattern I am not going to apologize for not jumping any ship when things get rough. It does appear it may not have worked well for me on my marriage but I would also contend if people in general weren't the throw away society/jump ship at first wave we have become things might be better for all. But I do appreciate your input
Having just learned that you've been putting up with this bull**** for YEARS, it makes your words above ring quite hollow.

You'd have us all believe that the reason you've continued to be a floor mat to this woman all these years is because you're a strong guy with strong ethics who doesn't believe in just throwing things away just because things are rough - unlike the rest of this 'throw away' society we live in.

But the truth is you're doing nothing because of FEAR - and no other reason. Every single thing anyone has suggested you just throw a bunch of ambiguous words at acknowledging what they said while arguing that you can't follow their advice due to 'blah blah blah.' You just want to continue wallowing in denial because your fear won't LET you do anything else. You kind of remind me of all those SAHMs over on SI who continue to stay with losers who cheat on them year after year and constantly lap up those **** sandwiches because they're financially dependent on these guys so they keep clinging like grim death to them. That's what you're basically telling us - your wife's salary subsidizes your farm and that's where you get your insurance from so you'll continue clinging like a barnacle to her. And then, of course, you try to argue with anyone who says your farm must be a losing venture if you depend on a good portion of your wife's salary.

So it's like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth because the plain and simply truth is that you want to stay right where you are rather than even VENTURE looking into alternatives.

Have you actually BEEN to a lawyer and educated yourself on your actual situation?

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post #62 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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Why do you think she can deceive herself like this then?

One can't lie to others unless they can lie to themselves first... talk about unmindful juggling.

And the DARVO, while expected, is troubling to this extent if these are presented in the clarity they carry.

"Catch me if you can" has played out... her contact discovered, the game exposed.

She did place him before you... that is the simplicity of such action.

Now what?

You can't save her from herself in such actions... all you can do is choose not to play the game.

How do you think you will do this?

I don't know what DARVO means?
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post #63 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:43 AM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

[quote=bremik;17639305]
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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
Or just research the divorce laws in your area.

Most have formulas to calculate child and spousal support so you can get an idea of how much you'll be paying for how long.[/QUOTE

A divorce would very likely drive me out of business if not bankrupt so there are a lot of ripples going to come out of this
Out of business you say?

This business you are in:

Is you selling your Pride, Dignity......your Soul, to an unrepentant, cheating, selfish wife. She has no soul. She is sucking the blood out of yours. She stands in your light. Without you she would shrivel, go dark and.....become colder. It is your heat that she purloins. Your heat and POSOM's causes her loins to purr. Her sexual worth cannot stand firm without men. She is amoral, amorphous. A blob, a shadow of a women, no man can own her oyster. It is a slippery concept, she has lost control of it.

Is trading your goods for her bad(s). When good and bad meet, the more powerful force triumphs. In your marriage she is a Triumph Rocket launcher.

Is servicing her needs, at the expense of yours.

Is that your occupation keeps your mental stock in the "sold out" category . You can never restock your psychological inventory.....so fast she spends your trust and
love.

Is having you buying time, rather selling her off to the lowest bidder [in her case]. She has no intrinsic worth. Her worth resides [only] in her outward shell, her appearance. Any new, hopeful, trusting man that she lays with will "assume" that he is getting an exclusive oyster. Problem is: She is open for business with your competitors. She opens her [furry good] for others to test drive. She then lies about it. And you willingly pay for her bad faith negotiations.

Is her breaking your marital business contract. And breaking your rapidly beating heart.

Is you enabling her to cheat on her contract. Is you being a fool while she does the bait and switch with your good will marital valuation.

Is enabling her paramour to steal your trademark. The trademark that you own.

Is when you married her, you two formed a Partnership. She has violated the terms of that contract. She has been skimming the profits of the partnerships love from you and giving it the your competitor POSOM.

Your business model has failed. It has gone belly up. Your wife's hungry belly has left your business premises. The soft thing has transferred it [assets to POSOM's corner lot. He has its lush trappings displayed for all to view and all to pine over.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #64 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 11:11 AM Thread Starter
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Red face Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

[quote=SunCMars;17641865]
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Originally Posted by bremik View Post

Out of business you say?

This business you are in:

Is you selling your Pride, Dignity......your Soul, to an unrepentant, cheating, selfish wife. She has no soul. She is sucking the blood out of yours. She stands in your light. Without you she would shrivel, go dark and.....become colder. It is your heat that she purloins. Your heat and POSOM's causes her loins to purr. Her sexual worth cannot stand firm without men. She is amoral, amorphous. A blob, a shadow of a women, no man can own her oyster. It is a slippery concept, she has lost control of it.

Is trading your goods for her bad(s). When good and bad meet, the more powerful force triumphs. In your marriage she is a Triumph Rocket launcher.

Is servicing her needs, at the expense of yours.

Is that your occupation keeps your mental stock in the "sold out" category . You can never restock your psychological inventory.....so fast she spends your trust and
love.

Is having you buying time, rather selling her off to the lowest bidder [in her case]. She has no intrinsic worth. Her worth resides [only] in her outward shell, her appearance. Any new, hopeful, trusting man that she lays with will "assume" that he is getting an exclusive oyster. Problem is: She is open for business with your competitors. She opens her [furry good] for others to test drive. She then lies about it. And you willingly pay for her bad faith negotiations.

Is her breaking your marital business contract. And breaking your rapidly beating heart.

Is you enabling her to cheat on her contract. Is you being a fool while she does the bait and switch with your good will marital valuation.

Is enabling her paramour to steal your trademark. The trademark that you own.

Is when you married her, you two formed a Partnership. She has violated the terms of that contract. She has been skimming the profits of the partnerships love from you and giving it the your competitor POSOM.

Your business model has failed. It has gone belly up. Your wife's hungry belly has left your business premises. The soft thing has transferred it [assets to POSOM's corner lot. He has its lush trappings displayed for all to view and all to pine over.
Valid points. And I was afraid people would hold back!
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post #65 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 11:17 AM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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I don't know what DARVO means?
DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender."

नमस्ते 🙏
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post #66 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 11:51 AM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

Some women (not all of us) view tears as a tactic to be used to win. That always works well with a Nice Guy (like you). We learn very early just how easily we can manipulate. Most of us live our entire lives and never do that even once but we are well aware that we can. She does.
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post #67 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

Here is a link about DARVO: How did my disloyal spouse become the VICTIM? ~D.A.R.V.O - Affaircare


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post #68 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

Bremik I'm starting to think you actually enjoy the feeling of being cuckolded because otherwise how the hell are you still with this conniving,manipulating cheating *****.Are you having a laugh at the people on this forum who are trying to help you.Or is it a martyr complex you have going and you see yourself as some kind of saint.
Maybe you think you will get your reward in the next life,well I have news for you buddy the life you are living is not a dress rehearsal and you need to make the most of it.
How do you think your children look at you,with disgust I'd say.
Again.Grow a pair.
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post #69 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:24 PM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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Bremik I'm starting to think you actually enjoy the feeling of being cuckolded because otherwise how the hell are you still with this conniving,manipulating cheating *****.Are you having a laugh at the people on this forum who are trying to help you.Or is it a martyr complex you have going and you see yourself as some kind of saint.
Maybe you think you will get your reward in the next life,well I have news for you buddy the life you are living is not a dress rehearsal and you need to make the most of it.
How do you think your children look at you,with disgust I'd say.
Again.Grow a pair.
I think you're basically right ... this is just another dead horse beating where well meaning people are trying to help a BH that doesn't want to be helped. He is in this situation because he chooses to be in this situation. He has/had the ability to change his circumstances many times over many years, but he over and over chooses the status quo.
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post #70 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender."
Yes this process looks very familiar after many conversations my wife and I have had. Hopefully it is easy to see how I can doubt myself if my wife has become good at such tactics

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post #71 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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Thank you for the link
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post #72 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:43 PM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

Your next steps have absolutely nothing to do with the financial aspects of your life. All you need to do is to get out of infidelity.

If her boyfriend has a spouse make sure that you blow that up before she gets back. File for divorce. Implement 180. Exposure to family. Separating finances is so damn far down the road that you can't worry about that because it's simply not at the top of your list. You just can't focus on it now.

----
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post #73 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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Bremik I'm starting to think you actually enjoy the feeling of being cuckolded because otherwise how the hell are you still with this conniving,manipulating cheating *****.Are you having a laugh at the people on this forum who are trying to help you.Or is it a martyr complex you have going and you see yourself as some kind of saint.
Maybe you think you will get your reward in the next life,well I have news for you buddy the life you are living is not a dress rehearsal and you need to make the most of it.
How do you think your children look at you,with disgust I'd say.
Again.Grow a pair.
I am not laughing at anyone on this site. You don't know me so your statement on being cuckolded and a martyr is ignorant. I am sorry you have your own anger issues
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post #74 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:54 PM
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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Some women (not all of us) view tears as a tactic to be used to win. That always works well with a Nice Guy (like you). We learn very early just how easily we can manipulate. Most of us live our entire lives and never do that even once but we are well aware that we can. She does.
Ha! This is so true. In my late teens I'd do this easily just by drinking soda, the fizziness always made me well up. Smh
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post #75 of 535 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 01:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

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I am curious on your take on my situation? I was going to PM you but you don't do that. Please feel free to weigh in
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