Religion has been entered into the equation of infidelity by some posters, and I respect the posters views as it pertains to religion. I have posted some regarding religion, said that I am a Christian man, and that I lost my faith when faced with infidelity. During my time of healing I have restored my faith, and in fact now have a stronger belief in God and His son Jesus. With that being said I will try to explain how, why, and when this all occurred to me.
We all have a different perspective of exactly what some proverbs definitions are in the bible. Such as tattoo is mentioned once in the bible, and since it is mentioned specifically, some Christians believe tattooing yourself is a disgrace to God. But if you read the entire section regarding tattoos it does say specifically that the tattoo should not be proclaiming for pagan. So is a tattoo ok or a sin? Again, it's different perspectives that we all perceive about the subject. This is just my example towards tattoos.
As for grace, I have extended grace to my wife. In my opinion the definition of grace is, an undeserved favor. I did extend grace to my wife, I did struggle with justice, but ultimately justice is carried out by Jesus. I have struggled with capital punishment in recent years also, because I firmly believed in it, but who is to say we execute someone because of a law? I have said many times that justice will escape me in regards to my wife's act of infidelity. It will forever escape me as it is Jesus who will render justice, it's not in my power to do so. If I live according to Gods will then I am left with two choices, divorce or grace. According to the bible I am allowed to divorce because of my wife's infidelity. Mary and Joseph were actually run out of town and Mary was suspected of cheating. Allegedly Mary and Joseph did divorce when they arrived at their new town but I don't remember enough to know that for sure.
For a long time I believed in the first testament, and currently believe in the second testament. In the first testament stoning was the punishment, in the second anyone who hadn't sinned may cast a stone. No stones were cast and Jesus told her to go and sin no more. I wasn't perfect, I cast stones in my marriage, so I needed to fix my half of the marriage.
Just after d-day I lost my faith, no longer believed in God or Jesus. I couldn't fathom how God or Jesus could allow this to happen in the world. After some time I realized that Jesus gives us free will, and with that free will we are to live according to God. Some of us do as we still continue to sin, but we try to the best of ability to live to his will. Some don't, they sin with the free will they have been given, and usually not atone for their actions. My wife is trying to atone for her actions, and as I've said before, I fear her time on the chair of atonement with Jesus.
My faith has come back in many ways, I have leaned on religion to help me get through. At times it's not easy, other times are good. When I became healthier my faith became stronger, the point I'm at now is I no longer seek justice. I'll leave that to God to sort out, but it doesn't mean I won't still sin and mess with the OM in the ways that I do. Is it wrong, maybe, but God will hand me that justice when I meet Him.
illme and @MRB
lunt have had a very calm and rational discussion with religion. I respect them both for the ways that each have posted in this thread. Each have their opinion of whether I should or should not have extended grace, I can see both sides of the discussion. Reconciliation for me was my best option, I have changed so much in many ways for the better. I have become a much healthier person and just recently have felt peace and happiness that I haven't felt for some time.
I hope this can help this thread for anyone who comes to it looking for answers while trying to put their life back together.