Re: wife in workplace affair
what amazing advice and thank you all again. Strangely enough I am seeing a lawyer a week next Tuesday (the earliest I could get) so I can certainly get that side of the "strategy" nailed. Just a couple of caveats to what I posted previously (and would not affect the advice offered already). I don't suspect that "she knows that I know" as in our second "conversation" earlier this year she pretty much thought she had convinced me that she had herself nipped it in the bud at an early stage (and her explanation seemed so plausible at the time) and even the next week said we had moved on from all that (and not so much as a sideways/cross-eyed look ever since; haven't women ever heard of "male intuition", or put simply "if it looks like a pig...."). Having been together 26 years (married 20 this August, ironically) we think we can read each other (hahaha).
When I said "I was depressed" in the original posting I was in fact referring to myself (and not my W). She knew I had been that way for a few years (no job, current job way below my capabilities) and that I had never neglected her in any way (even though I had a couple of cancer scares last Fall, absolutely charming that was not taken into consideration, eh?).
Regarding the lawyer, we may need to proceed slightly differently as, here in the UK, a lot of laws are completely different. For example, it would appear to be the case that some Family Court judges take a very dim view of the interception of emails/texts and may even deem it illegal so I have to be careful (another reason for not divulging my source of evidence to her). I will also be interested to see what he says about PIs as again things are different over here, so much so I would never Google to find one locally, would much rather use recommendations. That is the sort of evidence I would rather bring to the table.
Must admit the whole thing is rather sad, but I am presuming that any advice proffered so far by you guys applies the same whether or not I want a divorce (hopefully the threat should be enough on its own after serving). I will stay strong!
Thank you all again