Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The Frozen North
Re: Feeling guilty because I want to take a break from WS
A break is a great idea. It can precipitate a decent reconciliation. It worked for us; I cheated, and she asked me to leave. So, being an a** of the highest degree, I moved in with the AP. Only took a week or so to realize the reality: Affairs are not real. The feelings are absent the real world. In short order I discovered that the mental patient I was with had no real ambition to work or improve herself. I discovered that I was one in a line of guys to support her. NFW.
At the end of about 2 weeks, I kicked my AP to the curb and asked for a reconciliation. At first she would have none of it, and then a day or so later she gave me the conditions: I was to go completely NC with my AP, then I was to go into individual therapy and we went into marriage counselling. Her final requirement was that she wanted to go on a date, with someone other than myself. That too was a requirement that almost broke me. When she had completed her mission (took me six months to get her into the sack, took him an hour, FML), it was cold, dispassionate and emotionless. It was not an affair, it was revenge, and not a damn thing I could do or say. She said that she got justice, and we could reconcile from the standpoint of being equal. She said that we would stay separated until she could determine whether or not I was a safe partner.
We reconciled by degrees, first by going for coffee a few times a week, proceeding to dating, followed by some overnights. 8-9 months later, I could move back. We have reconciled successfully for 30 years.