So the sentiments here are clearly one-sided. Even with help there is not much hope that she can change?
The reason the comments are clearly one sided is because a group of people who do not know each other but have been in your shoes in one way or the other are all telling you the same know that you are in denial, playing what is called the 'pick me' game, and we all know how this will most likely turn out. EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS GOING NOW.
She is dictating to you what she is going to do, when she is going to do it, and since you are allowing it you can bet your 401K that they will be in this interim period establishing a way to take it underground with hidden apps or burner phones.
The advice you need is
(1) she quits the job when you say so. if it takes weeks to get into therapy they continue their affair, and then there will be another excuse.
(2) you put a VAR in her car. You will find out real quick if they are still in contact
(3) you put a GPS on her car so you know where she is when she tells you she is getting a drink after work with a girlfriend
(4) you see an attorney to know your rights
(5) you believe NOTHING she tells you that you cannot verify.
(6) TOTAL NO CONTACT AND TOTAL TRANSPARENCY. No deleting anything and no closure good byes
(7) and the best for last. With her history, if you do not have her take a polygraph you are crazy.
Now you can ignore all of that and continue what you have been doing. How has that worked for you?????
Time to get your head out of the sand and play hardball.