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post #46 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 02:55 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

Sheesh...poor guy.

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post #47 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 02:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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I would assume your stbxw is fully expecting you to cave again. For your own well being, follow through with it.
She's fully onboard with a separation. The only thing that gives her pause right now is the kids.
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post #48 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 02:59 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

Have you read the 180?
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post #49 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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Have you read the 180?
No. Link?
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post #50 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:06 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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No. Link?
Somebody slip this guy a link. I cant with my iPad.
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post #51 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:06 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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She's fully onboard with a separation. The only thing that gives her pause right now is the kids.
The choice of separation is not really up to your W. The choice is yours.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #52 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:08 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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She's fully onboard with a separation. The only thing that gives her pause right now is the kids.
Far far better for the kids to have come from a broken home than to have to live in a broken home.
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post #53 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:09 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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No. Link?
SurvivingInfidelity.com - Frequently Asked Questions for the Betrayed Spouse

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #54 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:09 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

Google "Healing Heart The 180" and it will take you to the page. There are also threads here on TAM that talk about it.

If you do it and stick with it, it will help you achieve some semblance of emotional disconnect from your wife and help the breakup go more smoothly for you. It is, essentially, about regaining your self esteem, which is the one thing you need most right now.
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post #55 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:10 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

SI?!!! Noooo not that link!

Gawd almighty.,,,

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post #56 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:12 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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She's fully onboard with a separation. The only thing that gives her pause right now is the kids.


Of course she is fully on board with separation, affair can now continue. Later when the affair collapses she comes to you and miraculously now loves you again. Don't fall for it.

Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.


Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
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post #57 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:45 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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Of course she is fully on board with separation, affair can now continue. Later when the affair collapses she comes to you and miraculously now loves you again. Don't fall for it.
Agree.

The last thing you need to do is agree to a separation; unless you are doing it to get her out of the house while your start the divorce process.

Otherwise that's straight out of the Cheater's Handbook - to give her complete access to her POSOM, while you sit there as plan B.
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post #58 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:58 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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The reason the comments are clearly one sided is because a group of people who do not know each other but have been in your shoes in one way or the other are all telling you the same know that you are in denial, playing what is called the 'pick me' game, and we all know how this will most likely turn out. EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS GOING NOW.
Yep, it's like a very broad sample size. Human nature is human nature OP. Plus most of us have been reading these stories they really almost all follow the same pattern.
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post #59 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 04:00 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

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Looks like separation is the next step (we both agree). It precedes a divorce in my state anyway.
Better get a good lawyer. Your wife knows you to give into you. She will not take kindly to you fighting her. I would expect the absolute worst. She has never shown that she respects you at all, this will be no different. HEED MY WORDS!
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post #60 of 84 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 04:04 PM
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Re: Need advice after wife's infidelity

She has:

1Cheated at LEAST 3 times.
2Told you she will never love you again.
3WON'T stop cheating even now---- says she needs to stay at the job until........


You and I both know that #2 is all you should require to divorce your wife. Really, you have been divorced and living together for quite a while now. She divorced you a long time ago. The only marriage you have left is the legal part, and it's high time you fixed that.
Hell, you can still live with her and have an open marriage after you divorce.

Divorce her and live in misery for a few months, or live in misery the rest of your life. Your choice.
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