How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 02:37 AM Thread Starter
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How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

Ran across this article a few days ago...

Like I can see some point to it, but it seems to say "cheat to fix your marriage" to me.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-2582...-marriage.html


Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 02:51 AM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

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Originally Posted by TaDor View Post
Ran across this article a few days ago...

Like I can see some point to it, but it seems to say "cheat to fix your marriage" to me.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-2582...-marriage.html
This type of bs is becoming more common,you have a woman telling the world that she is in a poly,multi any ****ing other meaningless word you like relationship and then two years later is writing about how her ex broke her heart.
You are a ****ing tramp sweetheart and all the long words and meaningless pontificating isn't going to change that.
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:06 AM
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I didn't bother reading the article but I'm sure I already no what it says.

Bottomline is some times getting it on the side "can" save a marriage as long as you consider a marriage is a lack of a divorce.
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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:22 AM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

I just don't follow this logic. I guess if you aren't getting anything at home, have an affair and not get caught that fixed the immediate problem. The underlying problem of how the marriage got that way only gets worse. It's like putting a Band-Aid on someone who's bleeding out. How does this crap get printed??

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

If an affair is revealed or discovered, and leads to reconciliation where prior marital problems are resolved, then yes, that wake-up call can lead to a stronger marriage. We have/had members here on TAM who had that happen.

(Don't know if that's what the article is about, just going by the premise in the OP's post title.)

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:31 AM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

Humans are inherently lazy and fear change. So go ahead and have an affair. What your partner doesn't know, won't hurt him/her... And you can carry on with your comfortable life, knowing its got a little spicier with your dish on the side.


"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

The writer says she has a "sometimes open marriage," so in her case, an emotional affair is to be expected.

Why bother getting married in the first place if you don't want/expect exclusivity in your relationship?
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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 12:20 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

Can't believe I use to buy into that pap.

Last edited by RideofmyLife; 04-06-2017 at 12:29 PM.
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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 12:26 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

Sounds like a great idea! Your marriage sucks? Well then, just start having an emotional affair! All your problems will be solved!!!! Allrighty then.

Basically it calls EA's "unattainable" romances. If you believe that well, I have a bridge................

I did learn a new word though - sapiosexual. It means being sexually attracted to someones MIND. Oooo, and 'ethical nonmonogamy'. LOVE that one.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 12:55 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

I love your mind.... Like a headcrab!




"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 01:02 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

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Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
Sounds like a great idea! Your marriage sucks? Well then, just start having an emotional affair! All your problems will be solved!!!! Allrighty then.

Basically it calls EA's "unattainable" romances. If you believe that well, I have a bridge................

I did learn a new word though - sapiosexual. It means being sexually attracted to someones MIND. Oooo, and 'ethical nonmonogamy'. LOVE that one.
It used to mean the opposite, when someone hurt a loved one by mind-****ing them. Mental rape.

Now, mental rape [sapiosex] is drifting into someones mind and having sex with their subconscious fragile Doppleganger. Beware the power of suggestion.

Regardless, as we all know, the brain stem sits atop the spinal column which supports the treasure trove.

Of course, we are attracted to another's mind.....unless we only partake in pay for play.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 01:17 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

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Originally Posted by Married but Happy View Post
If an affair is revealed or discovered, and leads to reconciliation where prior marital problems are resolved, then yes, that wake-up call can lead to a stronger marriage. We have/had members here on TAM who had that happen.

(Don't know if that's what the article is about, just going by the premise in the OP's post title.)
I am a BH mostly done w R , every problem we had in the M had a simple fix if W had chosen to open her mouth.....instead of having an A. I will never see it as any kinda of wake up call, that almost feels insulting to me. She could have filed for D, that would been a true wake up call......
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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 02:01 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

too many narcissists write articles. Makes sense though since lots are articles seem to be about the author. The bigger problem is the people who want to read this vapid dreck. As long as there is a market for it there will be people who read it.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 02:05 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

An affair never fixed anything.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 02:19 PM
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Re: How an affair can save your marriage?! Really!?

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Originally Posted by CantBelieveThis View Post
I am a BH mostly done w R , every problem we had in the M had a simple fix if W had chosen to open her mouth.....instead of having an A. I will never see it as any kinda of wake up call, that almost feels insulting to me. She could have filed for D, that would been a true wake up call......
I understand that. Not all BSs have any fault, but some do. Regardless of what went on before the affair, if there is reconciliation, sometimes that leads to a better marriage than existed before. That's all I'm saying here.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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