I think her saying she is not sure she wants to be married is sincere and heartfelt. She is just trying to be honest with you, OP.
That always strikes me as ''I'm not sure if I can make it on my own, and since you pay the bills and I have a good lifestyle, not sure I want to give that up just yet. If I could have my marriage AND my lover, I probably would stay, no question. But, since I have to make a choice...hmmm, I'm so confused.''
Funny, she was only confused when she got caught.
Not sure why, but it seems like many people treat us women like we're children. We don't know what we're doing, we're confused, we need help, we are unable to make good decisions, etc etc. Meanwhile, if a woman were posting this, you wouldn't see the same responses towards the wayward husband. The OP's wife is an adult, and she knows exactly
what she's doing. She CHOSE to have an affair. She CHOSE to betray her husband. No one accidentally falls into bed several times with another man. While she might need help, she is still an adult and needs to totally own what she did.
I'm against reconciliation with cheating, especially in a case like this where the wayward is spelling out that she doesn't love her husband anymore. That's clear without her saying that, though. I think that some people feel words mean more than actions. They don't. Actions always speak louder. If I tell you that I'm your best friend, but I keep betraying you, will you believe me? You shouldn't. That said, if you choose to reconcile with your wife, OP...please make sure she is coming back to you for you, and for the right reasons, not because the affair has been exposed and now she has nowhere to go. Or you're her consolation prize since she can't have her lover, anymore. To me, I'd rather be alone forever than go back with someone who will always only see me as a second option.