wow what an awful story - your XW is really a twisted person....you dodged a bullet not growing old with her...if she is getting divorced again she is not cut out for marriage or being a decent person it seems...her STBXH #2 is hopefully just as miserable as she is because he is no innocent victim..
Absolutely correct. He is an accomplice and they deserve each other, yet they separated a few years ago. Her parents despised him for pursuing her in a predatory manner and they never accepted him thereafter. When they married her parents were ashamed at what was obviously the beginning of a dishonorable marriage.
A long term after effect of the ordeal is her parents lived the rest of their lives with guilt for all the relatively minor things they did to cause friction between us. Like me, they blamed themselves for things they shouldn't have. They both died this last year and she let them go to their graves not knowing about OM #1.
Yet another after effect of her betrayal is her two children are born of a dishonorable union which by it's very nature brings a toxic dynamic into the family. Those poor kids will never know what will hit them from the long term fallout. The daughter, who is a senior in high school this year got engaged to be married half way through the school year and the odds are very high she is not mature enough and her marriage will ultimately fail.
And just to show how selfish and cowardly my ex is, she plunged into relationship with OM #2 knowing that six days after she did her WAW trick my dad was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig disease at age 54. He died grieving what had become of us. My parents loved her and treated her like a queen. I'll never forgive her for what she did to my folks.
Long term effects of affairs can be brutal to even yet unborn generations.