Re: Cheating I think but she denies all of it
I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears as has the advice of the others. You are now on page 3 here and no one reading this does not believe that your wife is already having sex with him. So I'll start by telling you that when a group of strangers who do not know each other but who all have gone through this come to the same conclusion, the group is very rarely wrong.
Now my guess is you are going to continue to stay in denial and play the "pick me" game until you catch her in the act, which is going to be very hard since she has already intimidated you into backing down four times that I have counted here.
So you have two choices
(1) continue to enjoy your new found open marriage that she has created for you
(2) get out of infidelity, and that does not guarantee you will stay married
Should you choose #1, stop reading and buy some Pepsid to soother your guts that are going to be churning
Should you choose #2, since you have no reason to believe her and she has obviously taken this underground, you can unravel this very quickly. See an attorney, have divorce papers drawn, and give them to her. You can stop it at any time. Then you tell her that when she passes a polygraph proving that she has not had sex with him or anyone else, and that she is not still sexting him or communicating with him, you may stop the divorce from finalizing. my bet is she will NEVER agree because she is gaslighting you and does not believe she cannot back you down again.
Her denying it should mean nothing to you coming from a proven liar. Now if you proceed on your current course, you are in for a lot of pain, and you are not in a court of law. You have enough "evidence" to dump her already. Until she actually believes that could happen she has no reason to change anything she is doing because you are tolerating it with no consequencwes other than you pouting and being mad.
Time to change directions buddy or you will be in the same spot or worse if this thread goes on for hundreds of responses.